Itchy vagina condition ruining sex life and worried about my marriage

[ncpostingabout]

I've had this on and off for years and years.

I was told it's recurring thrush but this week has been horrendous and I figured it just cannot still be thrush these years later.

So I googled and looks like it could be a rare condition called lichen sclerosus which causes pain burning and itching around genitals. Apparently a lifelong condition - I'm gutted.

Does anyone have this or anything similar? Please share experiences but it's really impacting sex life.

DH wants sex, I tell him it's painful but then he thinks if it's gentle it'll be ok and I end up feeling incredibly guilty.

Please I can do without LTB this is the real world and facing reality my sex life is affected like this is very upsetting - for both of us.

Any advice, not sure why I'm posting I guess for traffic to ask if anyone has similar experience or really how I should handle this from a relationship perspective.

I have this too. Confirmed by biopsy. It’s fares up now and again (especially after sex). Never had a flare as bad as when I was first diagnosed which was just after childbirth. It was horrific and took ages for me to be taken seriously. There’s a cream eumovate I think it’s called that you will be prescribed and this helps massively. It is grim though. A horrible thing to have.

I should add that the white vitiligo-like patches appeared a few years after the itchiness and initial diagnosis.

if you have any other autoimmune illness’s it makes the lichen sclerosis diagnosis more likely. I have underactive thyroid and pernicious anemia too.

I was diagnosed with lichen sclerosis 23 years ago in my late teens. it was confirmed with a biopsy. I think this condition is more common than we think but often undiagnosed or attributed to thrush. I use dermovate ointment to keep it under control. I find applying it after showering helps it absorb better.

I mainly get flair ups right before my period, this is quite usual according to the dermatologist I see every year. I also have a multitude of auto immune issues which as others here have said all linked. I have an under active thyroid so on thyroxine for life. I suffered with alopecia when I was younger, after applying dermovate to the bald spot my hair started to regrow.

id advise getting a referral to a gynaecologist or dermatologist. You can ask your GP to refer you but also, as was my case I was referred by a GU clinic. Lichen sclerosis is a life long condition that needs to be well managed as there is a slight increase in vulval cancer if it is not. Also the itching and discomfort is not great to live with. It can keep you awake at night and ruin any sex life. I have vulval atrophy but it all still works down there and I have sensation still. I managed to give birth twice vaginally too.

As I have an over active immune system I think this was the cause of my repeated miscarriages I endured in my late 20s and 30s. I was prescribed prednisolone to help in early pregnancies.

all the best and please get it checked out, don’t be worried if it is lichen sclerosis. Googling this condition will show you worse case scenarios but as others here have said, once it’s controlled with steroid cream or ointment (the latter is better IMO) then the condition is manageable.

My wife suffers badly with LS...it's also on her feet and shins. It took her a long time to get over her embarrassment and get herself to a Dr and she wishes she had done it sooner. It was affecting her entire life, and making her bloody miserable. Especially as it was waking her constantly to scratch. That was also waking me...so I had to get a little bit harsh and say "look, enough is enough!" But I was scared for her as her scarring was becoming so bad. I'd read horror stories online (as you do when you ask Dr Google for help!) All it took was a small, painless biopsy, a few weeks on steroids, and a steroid cream and she was back to normal. The itching stopped almost overnight and she's a different person now. Now it's just her snoring that wakes me! haha

In regards to sex life...I am another woman, so that potentially makes a difference. I never once pressured her. I knew she was in agony; she could hardly walk, let alone anything else. I also had a bad bout of hormonal itching downstairs several years ago, so know it's no picnic when your bits are raw and inflamed. Buy him some toys from Ann Summers and tell him to literally go fuck himself. You deserve better than this, love. x

Have you tried changing your toilet roll? Even the plain white Tesco stuff makes me dry, red, bleeding and causes massive massive pain and itching. I'd been to GP, family planning, GUM clinic, everything, and it suddenly dawned on me after spending a week at my boyfriends when it became slightly relieved, and then flared up again once I'd home a day or so.

The worst is Nicky green stuff. The best appears to be the stuff with the Koala. Other stuff seems ok for a while, then I have to switch to a different brand.

I have this. I was diagnosed just after having my DS and felt so miserable on top of all the hormones and recovering from a difficult birth as I read somewhere it was an 'old ladies' thing. I've since discovered it's more common than I realised among all age groups. It does suck, but it's actually been very manageable for me. I use a strong steroid ointment - you have to start off using it quite a lot to get things under control but after that it's more of a maintenance level. You need to insist on a dermatology referral to start with. Good luck, sending a hard hold and . You have full permission to be upset but I promise it's OK once you get the right treatment.

Hand hold, not hard hold!

OP, couldn't read and walk away :)

Ive been diagnosed with LS in 2017 but I suspect I may have had it years ago just never flared up.

I had horrible flare up post natal, soo much burning, itching which turned the walls kind of leathery. I pushed for a GP appt and told them I suspect it may be LS- the GP couldn't really say but it looked worrying so they referred me to a vulval clinic. The specialist was amazing, prescribed me dermovate and told me to use it twice for 6 weeks without fail and for every application to rub it until it sinks in(90secs i did everytime). I also stopped using strong body wash and switched to gentle ones.

Someone said here Zeroderm they are amazing as a moisturiser. I once used it as a lube(if this helps!)

Not saying it went away but oh my gosh I am not itching and able to control any flare ups. I make sure I have the steroid in hand.

Sex was horrible and it burned but now its been much better.

Hang in there, it cant be 100% cured but definitely can be managed like it isn't there xx

I wish you all the best!

Unreasonable to be diagnosed by Dr Google. Have a doctor check it.

Many drivers for thrush, from the soap you use to the moisturiser DH uses on his winky.

Had to respond as one of my best friends got diagnosed with this just last year after months of being told by various professionals it was stubborn thrush. She was at her wits end, relationship being ruined. She finally got the targeted cream others have mentioned in the thread (sorry I don't know the name) and the difference was instant. These days she gets the odd flare-up but apparently life is virtually normal. She likens it to eczema of the vagina!

I too have had LS for about ten years, and manage it pretty well most of the time. Along with all the excellent advice from other posters I would make two points-
1 You need to ask your GP for a referral to a Dermatologist who specializes in LS, NOT a Gynecologist. Dermatologists are the experts in skin conditions

2 When you are prescribed Dermovate which you almost certainly will be, insist that the prescription specifies ointment rather than cream. Pat the affected area gently dry and apply the ointment which will stick far better than cream.

You will get this condition under control, and if you do decide to have sex with your inconsiderate husband, use loads of lubricant. Good luck, OP - you'll get used to managing this x

@nocluemyself thank you so much for sharing. I actually hope it's LS as if not then I have a feeling I'll get messed about

@maimeo thank you so much as this is most certainly the vulva which I guess is skin as opposed to vagina (it does sometimes affect vagina too but mainly the skin vulva area is the issue.

Also the dermovate recommendation for ointment is incredibly helpful many thanks

Another question until I get a prescription is vagisil any good? Currently I'm using cannesten

I thought I had this. Turns out I am just allergic to scented toilet paper and most scented toiletries.

Your husband... sorry to say it but does he really enjoy having sex with you, knowing you must be in agony? It's horrible.

You need to keep going to the doctor until they take it seriously and put you in front of someone who won't fob you off with canesten.

Ask your dh if you can sandpaper his dick a bit before sex and see how he likes it. He sounds like a colossal bellend. He's happy for you to go through pain so he can have pleasure. That's not love, is it?

I have no idea what I have/had but for around 6months I was so sore and itchy would get really small cuts around my vulva and Perineum so miserable. I went to the drs and they swabbed and I had thrush took the treatment did nothing. Got to the end of my tether was trying all sorts of creams so the practice nurse sent me for bloods - diabetes/thyroid and a couple of others all came back clear. She prescribed a cream and it turned it around within days called trimovate. I also washed with aqueous cream which helped instead of shower gel (recommended by the dr)

It has already been said, and I realise it's a difficult thing for you to acknowledge, but your husbands behaviour is abusive. And that you don't feel able to stand up to him and explain and ask for what you need around sex indicates that there is probably a power imbalance and the issues go beyond the bedroom.

In a healthy relationship your partner would care about your pain and notice and accommodate your needs.

The relationship board here has far too many posts from women who are post-partum whose partners are grumpy about lack of sex, coercing them to have sex. It is very common for some women to not be able or want to have sex for six months or a year after having a baby (again, many threads on this topic on here). How would your dh, and therefore you cope with this situation?

While you are googling, please look up signs of an abusive relationship and think honestly about how many of the indicators are present in your relationship- and one is too many.

I mean this with kindness, but it seems like a blessing that you don't have a baby with this man - he is not a kind man. There are lots of lovely men out there. You deserve better.

This thread is about household effort, but there is a lot of wisdom and insight that may be relevant to you OP

The posters who always say "Well, what was he like before kids?" http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4711269-the-posters-who-always-say-well-what-was-he-like-before-kids

Ok so I'll explain what happened and then posters that keep claiming abuse can tell me their thoughts.

So I had complained about my itchy vagina and explained to DH I don't want sex because it will upset an event I had the day after.

I then initiated sex later that day because I just felt bad that we hadn't had it for a week ish.

We tried a position and I told him to stop it was too painful. I then (not him) said to try another position. He could clearly tell I was in pain but surely is it not my responsibility to stop if it gets too painful? I'm not a child - and that what k should have done because the day after the event was ruined due to the discomfort.

So here's my point / I'm taking responsibility for not saying no - why should anyone else be accountable? Or am I wrong here because even though I initiated it as it was clear I felt uncomfortable he should have offered to stop?

Genuinely confused by this and would love opinions because my post wasn't about this but as it keeps coming up figured I should explain

Is there a way he could behave that would make you feel you didn’t need to initiate sex you don’t want, and that he knows you don’t really want?

It numbs wherever you apply it - I found it helpful with the pain.

His behaviour is abusive because he knows it causes you discomfort but still wants to carry on anyway, he only really values you for sex, it isn’t love. Would you ever want sex with him if it caused him discomfort?

I think this condition was covered on the show Embarrasing bodies (unfortunate name as what you are dealing with is nothing to be embarrassed about ♡)? It offered some plans of action, hopefully might help or at least give you a place to start? X