Itchy vagina condition ruining sex life and worried about my marriage

[ncpostingabout]

I've had this on and off for years and years.

I was told it's recurring thrush but this week has been horrendous and I figured it just cannot still be thrush these years later.

So I googled and looks like it could be a rare condition called lichen sclerosus which causes pain burning and itching around genitals. Apparently a lifelong condition - I'm gutted.

Does anyone have this or anything similar? Please share experiences but it's really impacting sex life.

DH wants sex, I tell him it's painful but then he thinks if it's gentle it'll be ok and I end up feeling incredibly guilty.

Please I can do without LTB this is the real world and facing reality my sex life is affected like this is very upsetting - for both of us.

Any advice, not sure why I'm posting I guess for traffic to ask if anyone has similar experience or really how I should handle this from a relationship perspective.

Had an 8 monthish period of recurring thrush type symptoms - GP was great, and tested each time, rather than just prescribing.
Eventually cleared up by using an oestrogen pessary.

For washing, I used E45 bath oil. and either just water or oilatum wash in the shower.

also agree with @Moopi above re not so "D"H

Please share your experiences? That’ll be a firm no from me.

Please please get a proper referral to a gynaecologist rather than buy drugs online. You have multiple things going on - autoimmune issues, fertility plans, relationship issues and then this ?dermogynaecological problem (don't know if that's a speciality!) If you can find some money I'd consider going private both for the gynaecological appointment and some therapy for you. I find it shocking that your dh is behaving like this and just as shocking that your response is to keep quiet, fix it with a online order and soldier on.

Maybe some steroid cream will make the lichen sclerosis better but if your dh panics snd abuse you to soothe the panic if he doesn't get sex every few days, then he is likely to be a really difficult person to have kids with. Please go to a therapist to find your voice in the relationship.

Sorry OP but I stand by what I said. You yourself stated he makes you feel guilty when you say you dont want sex until you give in. Thats co ercive control. You are not agreeing because you want to- you are agreeing because he is making you.Thats rape, even if you are saying yes.

He then goes ahead and has sex with you knowing you are in pain and not enjoying it. Your husband doesnt care he is hurting you. He thinks his sexual gratification is more important than you being in agony for days on end. You must see how utterly horrific this is and that no one who loves you would do this?

I don’t have this but similar. Referred to gynae and had a biopsy. Eumovate steroid cream and moisturiser help when it flares up and can go weeks/months with all ok again now, which is a relief as when I had a long spell of it being bad it was awful!

@ncpostingabout You’re most welcome honestly whenever I hear/read anyone complaining of similar symptoms I always tell them my story (as weird as that sounds 🙈) as I would have loved the help when I was younger.

I was always ‘sore’ since being young but once I began having sex, it just escalated beyond belief. From age 19, getting together with DH it was at its worst and I was diagnosed mid-20s if I remember correctly.

I am so sorry about how your husband is being completely unsupportive. He needs to seriously back off though. I could not have sex during my worst flare ups of LS and quite frankly so rundown with it I didn’t even want to.
You need absolutely no sex while you get this under control so he frankly needs to sod off to put it politely. Our sex life resumed just fine after treatment.

As someone has mentioned upthread, hormones must play a part as I said before, around my cycle can be tricky and I have a young baby and I’m breastfeeding and I’m having some symptoms return now we’re starting to try sex again after birth. We’re just taking it slowly and a bit at a time and I’m using dermovate to keep things managed.

Even just no sex should help you a bit before you can get a referral/treatment started. Sometimes I struggled to even walk/sit down with pain/irritation so sex is a no-no while you are this symptomatic. I’m pretty sure if he felt like he needed to shove a toilet brush up his special place to soothe the itch, he’d understand completely!

op does this mainly begin just before or during your period?

I know you don't want this to be about your DH but have you read what you've typed? He wants to and continues to have sec with you even when he knows it is causing you pain. That is sick. It's abuse. It's certainly not love. He insists on physically hurting you in order to get pleasure and sexual gratification.

I used the steroid cream for two weeks then reduced originally. Now just use for a few days during a flare up. You can buy Eumovate without prescription as it’s cheaper.

Your husband needs kicking to the kerb.

With this update, I’d say your physical symptoms are the least of your problems. This is a shockingly unsupportive and frankly rape-y partner. This is not what a healthy sexual relationship looks like. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Seems like a pretty drastic change is needed.

Eventually, yes. It can take a while to actually kill you though.

Developing t2 isn't solely diet based.

High sugar levels will often lead to thrush etc.

Thanks @sociallydistained the info is really helpful, I appreciate you sharing.

@TruJay interesting you were told to use cream morning and night. That is different from the instructions I was given (which hasn’t worked!) so I might now try that.

I was prescribed Dermol lotion to wash with but will order some zeroderm and give that a go.

So many of us suffering! It’s miserable. it is heartening though that people have managed to get it under control, so thank you all for sharing your experiences.

@ncpostingabout I hope you can get things sorted soon. I didn’t have a referral to gynae but have been given the same cream that others have by my lovely GP, I don’t have the grey issue, it really does sound like you need someone to take swabs and refer you on. Good luck.

Just to add - in 2015 my sexual health clinic nurse thought I had LS.
Recurrence of identical symptoms in 2018 and a different nurse diagnosed severe thrush.

Once my blood glucose levels got sorted, it completely cleared.

Oh, and please leave your rapey OH.

I was misdiagnosed with LS and also eczema by gynaecologist for what turned out to be a treatment resistant strain of thrush (I was also diagnosed with ulcerative colitis around the same time as you also mentioned having another auto immune condition)).

i was sent for a biopsy but there was nothing there for them to biopsy. I had the symptoms for 3 years along with frequent uti’s before discovering the real diagnosis after being given various creams and treatments all which had no effect or made it worse. gynaecology were truly rubbish and it was my GP who eventually took swabs to be fully tested when I pleaded with them and even then I think they just did as I was pregnant and concerned about giving birth whilst in such discomfort.

Once diagnosed I was given a treatment that alleviated the symptoms although they would return after a few days of stopping it.

Strangely I gave birth 4 months ago and so far have not taken any treatment or had any symptoms since!

I hope you get to the bottom of it and find some relief from it soon. It truly is awful and I found it has had such a negative impact on my relationship with my body and sex.

I have LS and use Synelar gel (prescribed) and it is so well controlled now that I only use the gel occasionally. I'd rip my fanny off if I didn't have the gel though, so painful and nothing else touches it like the synelar.

There's a really good facebook support group for it. I think it's a lot more common than you might think.

Hey Op. I had similar symptoms, when to GP, she did swabs, prescribed a strong steroid that cleared it up in 2 weeks. But turned out through process of elimination that I'm allergic to sanitary towels. Who knew?

I can't use tampons due to a low cervix so I've had to try different brands, but I still have the steroid cream and have also found barrier creams help too. Not the most attractive day to day but, does the job and I'm happier having sex now.

So it could be anything - but get to the GP health clinic and get the ball rolling. You don't need to live like this - and the stress and aggravation won't be helping you to work through your fertility issues.

You would probably get quicker treatment and diagnosis at the GUM clinic, it's their area.

And tell your husband that you're not having sex until it's fixed. There are other ways he can get off.

Wtf is wrong with your husband.

Can't imagine how I'd ever want to have sex with him ever again.

@CantbelieveimaskingthisonMN

Yes, certainly give it a go. I was told two weeks of morning and night then two weeks of just night application and then as and when needed. If during or after the night time only application stage I still felt it was bad, I would go back to doubling up again until I felt able to reduce.

I hope this helps you.

I think as a fist you need to say to your other half things need to go on hold until it's resolved as there is no point in being in agony no enjoyment at all and just tell him it's too painful and say no and if he cannot respect that - although you said "don't say "LTB" if he can't respect that then you don't have a choice really do you??? Any bloke who's rather you lie there is agony to satisfy him isnt worth being with

Secondly get a GP appointment and ask for a gynaecologist referral and say to them how much it hurts

If it's a long wait you could get a private appointment- in the meantime introduce your partner to his hand 😂

And yes I agree with this totally I wouldn't be entertaining him ever again he selfish

Lichen sclerosus is easily treated with steroid cream. My DGD had it - it has settled down with gradually reduced application of steroid cream.

The younger you are the more diffuclt for the hubby imo. However, they need to put their wife/gf first rather than their desire as many other ways to enjoy.
One of my siblings has this and she is a few years older than me got it diagnosed around age of 50. She had just left her husband for another guy and were having great sex and then this happened. The new guy is very understanding and sis uses creams/steriod creams and certain types of cream to wash around that area

Get it diagnosed. Sis had repeated infection for years before that