To be angry that my family banned me from Christmas for having covid

[tantrumingcoldchild]

I flew 4000 miles to see my parents for Christmas. I unfortunately have to live in a different country from them.

I am asymptomatic but had to test due to being exposed to someone with COVID.

My parent was supposed to pick me up from the airport but decided not to after the positive test.

I see my parent once a year at most. They don't travel to see me. My parent and the rest of their family went ahead with the celebration but I was uninvited.

Fortunately, my other parent picked me up and let me stay with them (my parents are divorced)

They have agreed to meet me in a park tomorrow for an hour, which will be the extent of my time with them for the next year.

AIBU to consider this relationship basically over?

@tantrumingcoldchild yes, of course he would ignore me - my answer was purely based on me having COVID. He would rightly be worried about his own health. I can’t hold that against him because I had my child with me.

This is not the OP's parent's situation, so how is this relevant here?

It's relevant to the general comments on 'nothing would stop me seeing my child who flew in to see me.'

I'd reply the same. I told my parents, when they were planning to fly over, that in no circumstances were they to still come if there was any hint of sickness. Honestly, if they had, they would never visit again as they'd be knowingly putting my child's life at risk.

So not relevant yo the OP.

It's relevant in that she is the child here who hasn't been accepted to visit due to Covid.

Also, conversations drift, as they have in this thread, so I've moved with it. If you just want to stick with the OP's line of chat, go for it and ignore anything not of interest to you.

Well you certainly wouldn’t abandon your child at the airport. You’d find some solution.

You wouldn’t essentially say tough shit. Sort yourself out.

I've been listening to the scientists all along. I'll trust experts over politicians anytime

Will you trust the experts that say it’s okay to live normally again, or only the ones that support what you already believe?

Totally on your side here OP- as would most people in real life I’m sure. Lots of Covid fanatics on Mumsnet, gives them the excuse they need to lock themselves away at home and not answer the door whilst others deliver parcels and goods to them. Then shout ‘BUT SCIENCE’ as an answer to anyone who questions their motives (because as we all know scientists/ doctors are always right. On everything- ever).

Pathetic behaviour from your parents. I’d be incredibly upset with them.

I couldn't agree more.

Hell would freeze over before I turned my child away having travelled so far Covid or no Covid.

^^This

Honestly, if you have expressed your annoyance, I would suggest you apologise to them

Absolutely fucking no

One day you won't have parents anymore, don't ruin the time you have left over something that will not seem so huge, when you look back on it in years to come

Her DP obviously doesn’t value their remaining time with his/her daughter, that they will not take a statistically small risk seeing their daughter and grandchild—family they see at best once a year. Ffs they were willing to drive 100+ miles to the airport (a small risk of a car accident) but weren’t willing to find some way to accommodate their child during a rare visit and didn’t lift a finger to help them—OP may not have had WiFi/roaming internet access at the airport or may not have been able to arrange lodging and transport so easily depending on the time of day.

There are no “The Scientists”. The world is full of scientists and they all have different theories and beliefs based on their own work.

Which scientists are you listening to?

You sound like a spoiled, immature child OP. Why should your parents risk catching covid from you regardless of the travelling situation?! I'm sure they'd rather you didn't have covid and they could see you but the reality is this. Incase you haven't noticed the hospitals on this country are almost at a standstill - why would anyone older risk potentially needing medical care right now? They are being sensible and you are being selfish.

True but a scientific consensus is reached and the crazy separated from the peer reviewed.

And not texting OP for 3 days? Was that for safety reasons too?

I would not meet up with someone who had covid. Two reasons for this:

• I was pretty ill the last time I had covid (I've been jabbed) and even after the initial illness was gone I was tired for weeks
• If I knew that I was exposed to covid I would feel the need to isolated for 10 days after, and I don't want to give up my life for that length of time. I know that legally I don't need to, but I would worry about inadvertently coming into contact with someone vulnerable who could become very ill.

So I don't think they were being unreasonable by choosing carefully how they spend time with you. I understand it is disappointing and upsetting but they were making a choice about their health, which they are perfectly entitled to do.

The problem is that these kind of threads bring in the posters who have had awful experiences when it comes to COVID. Therefore, their fears are based on that.

A vast number of people these days barely have cold symptoms. Even my 87 year old nan said she has had worse colds, and my 64 year old mum was asymptomatic. I, at 36, had a banging headache and lost my sense of smell. I haven't known 1 person to get really ill as in more than cold symptoms for over a year now. Not saying it isn't happening, just that it isn't happening anywhere near as much as it did during the early stages of the outbreak. The fear is no longer there for a lot of people and life has been able to return back to normal for them.

We don't know if the parent has had COVID bad previously or has other awful experiences from it. If she has, I would understand their concern but I still feel like they could have done more for the OP and their grandchild. From my experiences, I would still have them stay and isolate in a room for a few days. If I had been too scared to do so, I would have explained why, apologised for being unable to take them in and help them sort out accommodation and travel. Not just leave them to it!

I imagine that was because OP likely blew a gasket about not being allowed to come and spread covid.
Ditto not inviting them to come and stand in the garden - chances are OP would have tantrummed and guilted her way into the house and the parent knows this. I think the parents have realised the best policy is to go quiet and minimise engagement with their adult child who feels entitled to come and gift everyone a potentially very nasty virus for Christmas.

Why do you think it's OK to make assumptions like this? Do you tend to see the worst in people?

You do realise that people are still dying of covid don't you OP YABU

@tantrumingcoldchild

The more replies I read from the covid zealots, the more I realise your problem parent is a lost cause.

There's absolutely no reasoning with these hypochondriac covid nutters.

Go very low/zero contact.

If they ever visit, pull the same trick on them and say they can't stay 'because reasons'.

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday with the normal parent.

What are you on? You’ve made all of that up. Why so much spite and vitriol? Is there something wrong in your life?

It's people like the Op that puts pressure on the NHS. Schools are now being told that parents should not send poorly children into school. Adults are being asked to wear facemasks if they are ill or not leave the house. It's people like the Op which have helped to spread COVID plus other illnesses to others that the health service is having to put these measures in place