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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New (ish) man being odd about bringing contribution to meal

871 replies

sleeplessinsouthhampton · 31/12/2022 14:59

Been seeing this chap fairly casually for 9 months or so...I like him and we have a lot of fun and really good conversations, both like same things etc.he's hinted at wanting more commitment and to see each other more often but i've deliberately kept things slow and steady and not rushed anything. Plus I have a busy life - full time job, caring for elderly parents and 4 children - 3 at home - 2 teens and 2 young adults, lots of family and also I sing in choir so we do a lot at xmas as well. He has family, no kids but life is a bit quieter i think - he works part time, self employed ...

For various reasons - illness, visiting other family etc not seen him since 23rd which he's been abit moany about but not directly. Anyway - today I'm cooking a lamb roast dinner for the kids and their partners and decided to invite him as well. He's met them all individually or casually but never been to a family event as such. We'll have meal, champagne and games etc.

this morning he messaged to say do i need him to bring anything - i said not really all in hand but bring drinks if there's anything in particular he wanted but i have wine, spirits, fizz etc. He says ok and no further response - i'm really busy tidying and prepping and get another message saying he's at shops am i sure he can't bring something - so i reply thinking he was looking to contribute and said ok well u can bring some dessert type things - we're not fussy about what but that would be nice

the response i get is - oh, I thought you would have puddings already sorted for us all- desserts for 9 people is a big ask....

tbh this has actually pissed me off as i wasn't even gonna bother with dessert as we have a huge meal, drinks and also have chocolates, mince pies etc. if anyone wanted but just suggested it as he seemed to want to bring something. Have i misinterpreted this somehow?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
poefaced · 31/12/2022 21:16

DifferenceEngines · 31/12/2022 21:15

Different families are different. There is no bloody way I'd ever show up at my in-laws with a supermarket cheesecake!

I’d hardly call OP’s kids and their partners ‘in laws’. They’re just dating.

slashlover · 31/12/2022 21:19

poefaced · 31/12/2022 21:15

Asda also does a nice range of chilled desserts, no defrosting required.

Which goes to my previous post where my mind would go into overdrive and assume OP would have no fridge space as she's catering for 9 people. Also, not been in an ASDA but my local ALDI and M&S has very little in the way of nice chilled desserts when I was in this afternoon.

Glittersparkle76 · 31/12/2022 21:20

BadNomad · 31/12/2022 20:08

The OP's dining room right now.

😂🤣😂Brilliant!

Teateaandmoretea · 31/12/2022 21:20

There is no bloody way I'd ever show up at my in-laws with a supermarket cheesecake!

Well it’s a good test for this poor bloke. If they are that ridiculous he needs to hold his head up for normality and run a fucking mile.

Alici · 31/12/2022 21:22

How are things going OP?

OldFan · 31/12/2022 21:30

I bet everyone was too full up for pud anyway

@WimbyAce As far as I'm concerned, there's no such thing.

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 31/12/2022 21:31

The poor man is lost in Iceland..

singleandwingingit · 31/12/2022 21:35

He went to McDonalds to get 9 x McFlurries and the machine was broken.

NameChagaiiiin · 31/12/2022 21:35

Anyone else just lurking waiting to see if he rocked up 🤣

boomboom109283 · 31/12/2022 21:36

Totally - I just need to know what happened now lol

ShirleyValentin3 · 31/12/2022 21:43

singleandwingingit · 31/12/2022 21:35

He went to McDonalds to get 9 x McFlurries and the machine was broken.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

usedtolovenaps · 31/12/2022 21:49

singleandwingingit · 31/12/2022 21:35

He went to McDonalds to get 9 x McFlurries and the machine was broken.

🤣😭😭😭🤣🤣

Oysterbabe · 31/12/2022 21:52

I think OP would have been back if he was a no show. I need to know what he turned up with.

TellingBone · 31/12/2022 21:53

Here for the bunfight. Sod OP's boyfriend. I'm over that.

Bpdqueen · 31/12/2022 21:54

OP I can't believe your making us wait until next year for an update

Bpdqueen · 31/12/2022 21:58

If the op's partner is reading this and needs some tips this is a great homemade dessert they will love it 🤣

New (ish) man being odd about bringing contribution to meal
Excusemegreentea · 31/12/2022 22:03

Bin

bellac11 · 31/12/2022 22:04

I dont want to cause a nuisance but what about the cheese and biscuit course?

Elsanore · 31/12/2022 22:05

He was late because he did a detour and drove further to go via a more upmarket supermarket to pick up a classier pudding. He arrived a little windswept, smiling with rosy cheeks, and handed over the profiterole tower/ fresh berries pavlova/ OP's favourite dessert that she mentioned months ago that he had remembered.... and a fabulous bunch of flowers, and the clanking noise was 2 bottles of chilled fizz in a well worn bag for life emblazoned with an environmentally conscious slogan.

Their eyes met and they just laughed softly at nothing; it all suddenly felt so right. £1.50 man was charming, friendly and laid back and everyone in OP's family warmed to him more and more.

OP couldn't wait to find an excuse to get him into the utility room alone ... And she forgot all about her thread on MN hence no update

ArcaneWireless · 31/12/2022 22:07

WimbyAce · 31/12/2022 20:58

Arctic roll would be my go to, you can't go wrong with that 😃

Absolutely true. Even though it seems to be a third of the size! 😋

JamieNorthlife · 31/12/2022 22:07

"£1.50 man"

😅

Aussiegirl123456 · 31/12/2022 22:10

Did he arrive?
What did he bring?
Did he charge you for it?
What did he say about being late?

Please come back OP and update!

rollingwiththewind · 31/12/2022 22:11

Did he show up @sleeplessinsouthhampton ?

Thatwouldbeme · 31/12/2022 22:11

Keep checking this to see if he turned up and with what 😁

Dullardmullard · 31/12/2022 22:11

Christ if he didn’t want to buy the damn desert he just needed to say that like an adult and the ooh that’s a big ask and say I’ll bring wine

plus Morrisons have gateau in bloody lush too