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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist DH takes the dog with him

123 replies

DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:01

I'm currently at home with toddler DC, DH is self employed and we also have 1 dog. Need to start by saying DH can take DDog to work, it's not super ideal but it's definitely possible and is fine, he's done it before when I worked full time. This stopped when I left work to be at home with our DC.

I feel really bad for writing this because in the grand scheme of things Ddog is great but at the moment I just can't cope with him during the day alongside toddler.

I was coping okay at first but DC is now 2 and is becoming increasingly hard work during the day! I feel stressed enough at the end of the day with DC without all the added stuff DDog needs too. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning up mess from the garden or telling DC to be gentle with the dog or separating them (not because DDog is aggressive but because DC tries to cling to him all the time which then makes me feel bad leaving DDog in another room for periods of time).

A lot of mornings I come downstairs after DH has left for work to DDog having been through the bin or on the kitchen worktops (yes he gets on them!) with everything strewn all over the place, It's the one thing we don't seem to have been able to train, he's 5 and still does it, it really annoys me. I've asked DH repeatedly to shut DDog out of the kitchen before he leaves but he forgets all the time.

AIBU for saying DH needs to take DDog to work again now because I just can't be doing with him and toddler together all day anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:06

And I feel bad for DDog too because I don't feel as patient with him at the moment when I get stressed with DC.

OP posts:
bitfit · 30/12/2022 11:09

How old is DDOG and is it crate trained? I work from home but when I need to be doing something else and can't supervise DDOG, she goes in her crate. She's fine snoozing in there as long as she's had some exercise and entertainment first

FiveShelties · 30/12/2022 11:11

Is anyone walking the dog?

Forestdweller11 · 30/12/2022 11:11

Can you share the care? Our Ddog goes to doggie daycare 2 days a week, with DP for 2 days and is with me for 1 .

WandaWonder · 30/12/2022 11:13

Is his work environment suitable for the dog?

Whether the dog can technically go or not

Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:13

FiveShelties · 30/12/2022 11:11

Is anyone walking the dog?

Yes DH takes him in the morning for a run around the field near our house and then I do during the day at some point or in the evening when DH gets home. I'd be happy to take him when DH gets home from work if he does go work with him in the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:14

WandaWonder · 30/12/2022 11:13

Is his work environment suitable for the dog?

Whether the dog can technically go or not

Yes he went to work with DH for the first 3 years we had him as I worked full time too. He's only been home during the day since we had DC.

OP posts:
KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/12/2022 11:15

You want him to take the dog to work because you can't handle a dog and a toddler? YABU, walk your dog whilst your little one is in his pushchair.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/12/2022 11:15

Maybe a mixture of both is the fairest?

KirstenBlest · 30/12/2022 11:15

What breed is DDog?

Ivyonafence · 30/12/2022 11:16

Yeah I'd send him to work with DH.

Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:18

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/12/2022 11:15

You want him to take the dog to work because you can't handle a dog and a toddler? YABU, walk your dog whilst your little one is in his pushchair.

I do walk him as I've already said. That's not the issue.

And yeah especially seen as DH is the one who keeps "forgetting" to shut the kitchen door meaning I have to clean up the mess most mornings.

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 30/12/2022 11:18

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/12/2022 11:15

You want him to take the dog to work because you can't handle a dog and a toddler? YABU, walk your dog whilst your little one is in his pushchair.

Did you actually read the post?
Or do you think OP should spend the whole day walking the dog with the toddler strapped into a buggy?

ZiriForEver · 30/12/2022 11:19

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 30/12/2022 11:15

You want him to take the dog to work because you can't handle a dog and a toddler? YABU, walk your dog whilst your little one is in his pushchair.

My reading of the OP is that the issue isn't one hour of walk with toddler being in a pushchair. The issue is neverending stream of interactions during the whole day at home.

--

Yes, DH should take the dog some days, just to offer a respite. Plus leaving the dog with access to the kitchen in the morning is just lazy from him and needs to stop.

MagpiePi · 30/12/2022 11:19

I think the dog should go with DH.

Glitterandcard · 30/12/2022 11:20

Have you actually asked your DH and what did he say? Because presumably he might say it’s fine and then there’s no issue. I assume he works outdoors and the dog wouldn’t just be shut in a car/van all day.

Joshitai · 30/12/2022 11:23

Rehome the dog. You obviously can’t handle a dog and a toddler, and it’s stressing you to no end. I don’t think taking a dog to work is ok, as I cannot think of a single profession where that is accepted.

KirstenBlest · 30/12/2022 11:25

@Joshitai , her DH is self-employed, so may be working in premises where a dog is not going to be an issue.

treehousethunderstorm · 30/12/2022 11:29

Joshitai · 30/12/2022 11:23

Rehome the dog. You obviously can’t handle a dog and a toddler, and it’s stressing you to no end. I don’t think taking a dog to work is ok, as I cannot think of a single profession where that is accepted.

Perhaps the dog is a border collie and the husband a farmer.

I also know of more than one workplace which have an 'office dog'.

I don't think that OP obviously can't handle a dog and a toddler, just that they would prefer a break. If husband can take dog a few days that's fine, dog daycare is fine too.

bloodyeverlastinghell · 30/12/2022 11:29

Loads of people take their dog when they work outside. Fencing contractor who is working around here has a dog who essentially spends his day running forwards and backwards along the fence line on either side of his owner.

Not unusual to see a dog bed in the corner of an office either.

Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:29

KirstenBlest · 30/12/2022 11:25

@Joshitai , her DH is self-employed, so may be working in premises where a dog is not going to be an issue.

Yes he does. He works alone and doesn't meet customers. It's absolutely fine for DDog to be there.

OP posts:
Skiphopbump · 30/12/2022 11:30

As your husband keeps forgetting to shut the door tell him he needs to take the rubbish out every evening so you at least you don’t start the day tidying.

Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:30

Yes even just 2 days or something would be good.

OP posts:
Original poster
DogProbb · 30/12/2022 11:31

Skiphopbump · 30/12/2022 11:30

As your husband keeps forgetting to shut the door tell him he needs to take the rubbish out every evening so you at least you don’t start the day tidying.

It's not just the bin unfortunately. It's anything on the kitchen worktops or dining table or anything. He's a bugger for it! The kitchen really needs to be shut off when no one is with him.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 30/12/2022 11:31

Who was the prime instigator of getting the dog ? How long have you had ddog and did you discuss what would happen when you had DCs ?