To insist DH takes the dog with him

[DogProbb]

I'm currently at home with toddler DC, DH is self employed and we also have 1 dog. Need to start by saying DH can take DDog to work, it's not super ideal but it's definitely possible and is fine, he's done it before when I worked full time. This stopped when I left work to be at home with our DC.

I feel really bad for writing this because in the grand scheme of things Ddog is great but at the moment I just can't cope with him during the day alongside toddler.

I was coping okay at first but DC is now 2 and is becoming increasingly hard work during the day! I feel stressed enough at the end of the day with DC without all the added stuff DDog needs too. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning up mess from the garden or telling DC to be gentle with the dog or separating them (not because DDog is aggressive but because DC tries to cling to him all the time which then makes me feel bad leaving DDog in another room for periods of time).

A lot of mornings I come downstairs after DH has left for work to DDog having been through the bin or on the kitchen worktops (yes he gets on them!) with everything strewn all over the place, It's the one thing we don't seem to have been able to train, he's 5 and still does it, it really annoys me. I've asked DH repeatedly to shut DDog out of the kitchen before he leaves but he forgets all the time.

AIBU for saying DH needs to take DDog to work again now because I just can't be doing with him and toddler together all day anymore.

Could you get an automatic door closer on the kitchen door? So it’s not necessary to remember to close the door. Yes I know it’s annoying that your chap can’t remember, but it would be better to stop the problem than get cross. I used one on the utility room door which was always being left open and causing a draught 😬

and he could take the dog to work fairly often, everyone likes a change.

@DogProbb we have a labrador. Having had a lab previously, before we got this one we cleared out a cupboard in the kitchen and put a bin in there instead. Also ensure nothing is left out on the kitchen counters at night. So far we've had no issues. Could you maybe hide a bin somewhere?

I think the dog should go with your DH a couple of days a week. I also have a toddler at home, and I do understand how much of a pain it can be. But we love DDog and include her in our day. We go to the woods, she comes. Play in the garden, she comes too. Go to my parents, she's welcome. However we do go out to places without her too, to give everyone a rest. Can your DDog be left alone? So you can go to toddler groups, library, soft play etc?

Presumably Op's husband took the dog to work as she also worked & it was that or leave it at home on it's own.

She said that it wasn't ideal that the dog went with him.

The kitchen door obviously needs closing & the dog needs some decent walks!

After his work he could be put in his crate for a few hours with water, and a Kong filled with treats. H e would get rest and away from toddlers hugs for a while. Put him in his crate with his Kong or chews it stops the little one bothering him while he is eating. You can pay full attention to your little one.

Many dogs can't be trained out of counter surfing. It's a self rewarding behaviour.

Agree with diddl above, it sounds to me like the only reason he took the dog with him was to avoid paying for a dog sitter - she said it wasn't ideal, and common sense would tell you unless he works in a kennals that's always going to be the case!

I think you should look into the solutions others have mentioned about proper doggy doors. I also think maybe you should look into getting a dog walker, it doesn't sound like the dog is getting enough stimulation with the set up as is. Your husband taking the dog to work isn't really feasible, and you've admitted that yourself.

Oh come on. There is a middle ground between "I don't want to care for the dog" and "mum, toddler, and dog get a bit fed up being cooped up together 5 days a week".

Dog is confused. His routine changed. DH goes back to walking in the morning, dog goes to work, dog gets walked by you in the evening.

I agree ddog should go with DH but you can buy automatic door closers. You can even make them with string and a water bottle!

It wasn't intended to be an exclusive list, just the top most obvious thigs where you could take a dog with you as the poster was so lacking in imagination.

So if that's the case, you need to set up your house/kitchen so that if they jump at the counters, there's nothing for them to get. That's just the basics of being a dog owner.

I get it - I have a dog who will counter-surf given the chance - so we just don't leave things on the counters. It's not hard. A super-high pet gate on the door, child locks on all the cupboard doors and a rule that food is never, ever left out on the sides. It either goes into the fridge, into a cupboard or in the microwave.

Honestly, just rehome the dog.

Feel free to read what the OP actually wrote. She does not say she’s a bit fed up of the dog. She says she “can't cope with him during the day alongside toddler” and wants her DH to take him to work. And DH doesn’t want to. That’s the scenario.

Exactly - the counter surfing wouldn't be happening if her husband just shut the door. She has a husband problem, not a dog problem.

Of course they can be trained not to do it. Start with Google - mostly owners just give up, can’t be bothered to persevere.

Some dogs can. Some dogs can't. In any case, the first step should be to remove the opportunity. Which would be her husband shutting the door. As I said, she has a husband problem.

No, she said "ddog is great". She appears to be temporarily overwhelmed by her child going through a tricky phase and her husband contributing to the issue. I'm pretty disgusted by all these people advocating rehoming for a temporary issue.

Not in my eyes … to me they have a dog problem 🤷‍♀️
Dogs can be trained, some need more effort and work put in than others.

But you can't train a dog of one person is consistently undermining the training - which her husband is doing. Her husband is effectively teaching the dog that the day starts with a garbage bin/ counter top treat

Is DDog is a cockerpoo by any chance?
Have you asked DH if he minds taking the dog to work again? If he did it for 3 years it’s likely he might not even mind and sounds like the best option for the dog and less stressful for you

Ridiculous

That’s why I said earlier they BOTH need to train the dog <<sheesh 🙄>>

A few options

Get a dog proof bin
Move the bin to somewhere the dog can't get to it
Do 50/50 with dh and the dog
Crate train the dog and put him inside the crate at night (ours got terrible separation anxiety so we out her in a crate in the bedroom at night
Doggy daycare