To insist DH takes the dog with him

[DogProbb]

I'm currently at home with toddler DC, DH is self employed and we also have 1 dog. Need to start by saying DH can take DDog to work, it's not super ideal but it's definitely possible and is fine, he's done it before when I worked full time. This stopped when I left work to be at home with our DC.

I feel really bad for writing this because in the grand scheme of things Ddog is great but at the moment I just can't cope with him during the day alongside toddler.

I was coping okay at first but DC is now 2 and is becoming increasingly hard work during the day! I feel stressed enough at the end of the day with DC without all the added stuff DDog needs too. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning up mess from the garden or telling DC to be gentle with the dog or separating them (not because DDog is aggressive but because DC tries to cling to him all the time which then makes me feel bad leaving DDog in another room for periods of time).

A lot of mornings I come downstairs after DH has left for work to DDog having been through the bin or on the kitchen worktops (yes he gets on them!) with everything strewn all over the place, It's the one thing we don't seem to have been able to train, he's 5 and still does it, it really annoys me. I've asked DH repeatedly to shut DDog out of the kitchen before he leaves but he forgets all the time.

AIBU for saying DH needs to take DDog to work again now because I just can't be doing with him and toddler together all day anymore.

I’d say every time he forgets to shut the kitchen door he takes the dog the next two days. It’s amazing what a little motivation does to the attention.

Buy a stair gate that closes itself for kitchen door so the dog isn’t set up to fail each morning. The people I know who take their dogs to work leave them in their vans which can’t be fun.

If you can’t cope with a toddler and a dog you need to rehome it. Not blaming you for that dogs are a pia. But taking it to work is not fair either on DH or the dog.

DH doesn't work from a van. He wouldn't be in a van at any point during the day!

Also, I'm aware this sounds unbelievable but we do already have a gate there. DDog leaps over it! If there is any way to get to food he will. The door needs to be shut.

It’s still not fair to the Dog or the DH. The Dog doesn’t get the attention and interaction it needs, and the DH won’t be able to concentrate on work as well.

I think for the dog's sake it should have some time out from the toddler.

Perhaps the dog is a border collie and the husband a farmer.
This seems unlikely as that would be a working dog, not a pet and would not usually left at home.

I think you need to rehome too. DDOG sounds like he needs a lot of training still which you don't have the time to do with a toddler. It doesn't sound fair on anyway or DDog

Anyone*

Have you asked DH why he's now less keen to bring the dog with him to work ?

Presumably because he isn't trained and does as he likes which stops DH from working

@Joshitai , it depends on the dog. If it's not an office job, the dog might be fine. I can think of workplaces like shops and pubs where there are dogs.
Someone working outdoors might have a dog.

I asked OP about breed because the temperament and size of the dog makes a difference. A whippet might be happy curled up in a corner in a workshop but a gundog might not.

What breed is he OP?

Can you put a spring closer on the kitchen door?

also the dog can easily go to work three days a week and give the dog a break from the toddler

I’m self employed. My dog is always with me. It’s entirely possible as a concept.

what are his reasons for not taking the dog op?

as a different issue - its ridiculous that you haven’t worked out a system where he can’t in the bin and you don’t leave stuff on the counter top. It’s really not hard to set up a bin thst the dog couldn’t access

Also, I'm aware this sounds unbelievable but we do already have a gate there. DDog leaps over it! If there is any way to get to food he will. The door needs to be shut.

You can buy taller dog gates made specifically for that purpose.

This.

I think a well trained dog might be alright, but this dog apparently jumps on counters and tips over rubbish bins going after any whiff of food every chance it gets. And this behaviour has been allowed for 5yrs…so it will be engrained behaviour. I really do not think their dog is suitable to be taken to work as it is untrained and therefore a potential risk to any customers or colleagues.

The fact the dog is untrained means too it is not getting the attention and proper care that it needs. Which is not to cast blame, having a baby leaves little to no time for training high energy dogs.

We have a tall gate with a cat flap.

I have 4 dogs, and shortly will have another baby. Oh, and several cats

Aaarrgghh, first paragraph above was a quote from you - second paragraph was my reply.

Oh I give up

Basically, taller dog gates are available.

@Edinburghmusing , "as a different issue - its ridiculous that you haven’t worked out a system where he can’t in the bin and you don’t leave stuff on the counter top. It’s really not hard to set up a bin thst the dog couldn’t access"

Depends on the breed of dog, so not ridiculous. You'll find it difficult to labrador-proof a bin.

The dog is bored and not getting enough excercise.

Do a deal with your DH that he either gets up eaerlier and takes it for a proper walk in the morning, after which most dogs will nap until early afternoon then a walk round the block for half an hour will do it, with another quick one before bed.

Also find a breed specific brain game you can play with the dog for ten minutes, so spaniels are bred for scenting, hide a trail of treats round the house, other dogs love a game of tug (done properly, research this). Along with a decent walk in the morning this should be sufficient for a calm and happy pup on a daily basis.

Either this, or he takes it to work with him.

What ddog do you have and how have you got to adult hood without training him not to jump up on the kitchen counters?!