He woke up with a cold…. First date

[WorriedWarrier]

Supposed to meet this lunch time…. He’s woken up with a cold.

He doesn’t want to meet, right?

I'd just text back and say "That's fine, hope you feel better soon. Are you interested in meeting up when you're feeling better?, or would you rather leave it for now? "

I just like to know where I stand. I feel his answer to this would let you know that.

Lucky escape! if he cancels a date for a cold imagine the state he'd be in if he had a proper bug.Dressing gown of doom would be out in a flash.

There are ghastly coughs and colds doing the rounds at the moment where I live.
If he rearranges the date, I'd believe him.
Some poster said he should "Man up" 🙄
One of my ds has it at the moment and he is really miserable with it. It's been ongoing for two weeks.

Hope it works out for you @WorriedWarrier

I'd be really annoyed if someone came to meet me for a date with a cold.

I don't want anyone's fucking cold. Stay the fuck home.

OP- if he hasn't asked to reschedule I wouldn't get my hopes up. The ball is in his court now, if he reschedules - great. If not let it go.

Plenty more fish in the se

Oh god, why so many women overthink everything. He has a cold and obviously needs to cancel. Who would want to be on a date with a cold and spread germs? If it is a first day of a cold it can be something that lasts 2 days or with all the nasty bugs going around could be 2 weeks. He can't rearrange anything now.
Perhaps, sometimes, 'I have a cold, I need to cancel' means exactly that, rather than 'I am not into you and can't be bothered'.

Really lovely.

I assume you knew each other already as friends, or went to uni together? Given most people meet potential dates via online dating these days and have to be cagey about where they live for safety reasons (they need to pass the not-a-murderer test first), they wouldn't really have the opportunity for something like this. But it's such a sweet story!

I would just assume he was being considerate (and possibly feeling rubbish too).

Because when you cancel on someone (specially on a first date!) and a) you’re a kind person and b) want to re-schedule a 5 word “minimal investment” type of message won’t cut it.

That's very desperate and pickme-ish, IMO. The onus is on the person who cancelled to reschedule. I'd just get on with my life as normal, assume I won't be meeting up with him, and treat it as a pleasant surprise if he did get in touch.

"On the side"? WTF? It's a first date! He's a complete stranger who owes her nothing - certainly not exclusivity!

This is quite a silly approach, as it blocks out responsible, sensible people who are genuinely sick and don't want to be selfish and spread their germs. I think it's always worth giving someone ONE chance to reschedule.

@anotheruser173
Yes, friends of friends at uni but had only met once before. I wouldn't encourage my nieces or even my sons to give out their addresses these days.

Check the UN 🙄

not sure if he knew I was going on holiday….. but I said I’ll be on holiday In the new year and available after X date…. To which he replied he’s not feeling bad just thought it would be wrong to meet and something to look forward to.

We will see if he rearranges…. But I don’t have a good feeling.

shall I delete him as a contact and this profile pic disappear?

This = my profile

That's very desperate and pickme-ish, IMO. The onus is on the person who cancelled to reschedule. I'd just get on with my life as normal, assume I won't be meeting up with him, and treat it as a pleasant surprise if he did get in touch.

I don't agree. It isn't begging to rearrange the date, it's just asking if he's interested in arranging another and even suggesting to just leave it, if he's not bothered. I just like to know where I stand, and IMO not knowing is being messed about.

I recently cancelled as I had a cold (it was with another guy)…. Not sure why I didn’t rearrange

shall I delete him as a contact and this profile pic disappear?

This = my profile

That’s up to you OP. I wouldn’t bombard him, just leave him to it. The balls in his court. Don’t wait around for him but at the same time don’t nag him.

If he’s really interested in seeing you he’ll rearrange sooner rather than later.

Not sure what you mean with the profile pic, is it WhatsApp? Because the only way you’re profile pic will disappear to him will be if you block him.

If his profile pic has disappeared to you it means he’s blocked you. If so, block him back and delete.

Maybe because after a few years of OLD, experience has taught us that men cancelling for spurious reasons on a first date is a red flag.
Move on OP. Don't message him and if he does get in back in touch, make your decision then. Personally, if someone cancels a date and they don't seek to rearrange right then or at least give some indication of when they might be next free to meet, I walk away.
If a guy is interested, he'll want to meet.

Why not accept that he actually has a cold and just leave it, instead of blocking him? Especially considering you did the same thing recently to someone else, so you know it is very possible to cancel a date because of a cold.

You don’t need to delete or block. That’s all a bit dramatic. Just put him to one side and crack on with your life. If he contacts to reschedule then you can decide if you’d like to.

Yep I feel it’s a red flag…. But his follow up message has been suggesting otherwise.

not sure if I should leave him read or not

You were most probably not really into him just like this guy with you, hence the reason I would unmatch, block and move one.

But what's the point? He's not going to say "nah I'm not interested", is he? He won't want to be that blunt if he's not interested, and if he's stringing you along, he'll say he is interested and then probably never reschedule. So asking is pointless and only serves to stroke his ego and make yourself look desperate. If he's genuinely interested, he'll reschedule, and he won't want to wait too long in case you get snapped up by someone else. If he isn't, well, there's your answer. Never, ever chase a man. The ball is in his court, and texting and asking for 'clarification' isn't going to change anything.