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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is the way DD plays with dolls odd?

116 replies

AllInTheDollsPlay · 29/12/2022 21:38

DD is 8, school year 4 if relevant.

She loves dolls. Has several baby annabells and similar. She likes to push them round in a toy pram or carry them around, they do go everywhere with her - they sit and watch her in the bath or go in the bath with her if they can - but she doesn’t feed them or change their nappies or their clothes, she just carries them and pushes them around. She does wash the babies in the bath and is constantly singing to them.

I thought it was because she was an only child with little experience of babies as all my friends have older DC.

But a friend said her only DD knew how to “play” with dolls and fed them and changed them etc. I didn;t have much contact with babies but remember feeding and dressing my dolls up.

DD does have dyspraxia and dyslexia as well as Arthritis and Shallow sockets in her joints, not sure if this is why.

She’s happy as she is; laughs if someone pretends to feed her dolls and doesn’t get upset if I change their clothes, she just doesn’t do it herself.

She does play “normally” with other types of toys, she loves building schools with her playmobil and lego, has a lol dolls house she plays shops with (the lego men go shopping as well) and she has remote control cars that she drives up and down the hallway saying their racing and they often have a doll or soft toy or barbie sat in them.

So AIBU or is my DD “normal”?

OP posts:
FunctionalSkills · 29/12/2022 21:40

Sounds normal to me

Tigofigo · 29/12/2022 21:41

Does she play creatively with her toys and use her imagination to create new scenarios (eg not just acting out what happens at school)?

XmasElf10 · 29/12/2022 21:41

No not at all. Sounds perfectly normal.

Original poster
AllInTheDollsPlay · 29/12/2022 21:43

Tigofigo · 29/12/2022 21:41

Does she play creatively with her toys and use her imagination to create new scenarios (eg not just acting out what happens at school)?

@Tigofigo I think so, they all go to the lol dolls house to go shopping and she tells me what they buy including some very silly things like mustard flavour donuts. And when she goes to appointments she pretends to be a magician or similar to the HCPs.

OP posts:
PixellatedPixie · 29/12/2022 21:43

That definitely seems normal to me. Why would not feeding her dolls be unusual? Okay allows her to do what she wants and so if she isn’t interested in feeding then she won’t do it. At her age there would be more serious signs of something being amiss than just not feeding her toy dolls!

User837463839 · 29/12/2022 21:45

Sounds totally normal to me.

yellowtwo · 29/12/2022 21:46

Op what did your friend say this for? But a friend said her only DD knew how to “play” with dolls and fed them and changed them etc Was this in response to a question you asked or did she just say this after seeing your DD playing?

Original poster
AllInTheDollsPlay · 29/12/2022 21:46

PixellatedPixie · 29/12/2022 21:43

That definitely seems normal to me. Why would not feeding her dolls be unusual? Okay allows her to do what she wants and so if she isn’t interested in feeding then she won’t do it. At her age there would be more serious signs of something being amiss than just not feeding her toy dolls!

@PixellatedPixie I didn't think it was unusual until my friend said today that her DD who was also an only child used to change the dolls clothes and feed them.

She definitely has an imagination though, she will pick up a stick when we go out and pretend it's a sword or a wand, she pretends she's flying a lot as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
AllInTheDollsPlay · 29/12/2022 21:48

yellowtwo · 29/12/2022 21:46

Op what did your friend say this for? But a friend said her only DD knew how to “play” with dolls and fed them and changed them etc Was this in response to a question you asked or did she just say this after seeing your DD playing?

@yellowtwo She asked DD if it was time for her doll to be fed and when DD said "No don't be silly she never needs to eat" she said her DD always used to play properly with dolls and it's not normal for DD to not do these things.

OP posts:
Shadope · 29/12/2022 21:50

My daughter has fed and changed her dolls. But she has also operated on them more times than I can remember due to some killer disease. She’s not weird, well she is but all kids are

Shadope · 29/12/2022 21:51

And none of this has fuck all to do with being an only child!! How can it.

Original poster
AllInTheDollsPlay · 29/12/2022 21:51

Shadope · 29/12/2022 21:50

My daughter has fed and changed her dolls. But she has also operated on them more times than I can remember due to some killer disease. She’s not weird, well she is but all kids are

@Shadope She sounds amazing, we get the sick barbies here!

OP posts:
Reugny · 29/12/2022 21:53

Your DD plays with dolls similar to how my 4 year old DD plays with them. Though my DD doesn't tend to play with baby type dolls.

Reugny · 29/12/2022 21:56

Oh and my DD told me in nursery that they learnt to "bath the baby'. She also goes to a childminder where she plays with younger kids including a baby.

AndyWarholsPiehole · 29/12/2022 21:56

She asked DD if it was time for her doll to be fed and when DD said "No don't be silly she never needs to eat"

That's a brilliant answer. It would've made me chuckle.

She sounds totally normal.

Notanotherusername4321 · 29/12/2022 21:56

AllInTheDollsPlay · 29/12/2022 21:48

@yellowtwo She asked DD if it was time for her doll to be fed and when DD said "No don't be silly she never needs to eat" she said her DD always used to play properly with dolls and it's not normal for DD to not do these things.

Show quote history

Well that sound perfectly reasonable to me. Dolls don’t need to eat, do they? She’s 8, she will be perfectly aware that feeding/changing is pretend, and it doesn’t sound like she’s pretending the dolls are real, they’re just her imaginative company.

what is “playing properly” anyway? Play is only limited by the child’s imagination.

SkylightSkylight · 29/12/2022 21:57

Shadope · 29/12/2022 21:51

And none of this has fuck all to do with being an only child!! How can it.

@Shadope because unlike children with younger siblings, 'onlies' don't see babies being fed & changed at home.

@AllInTheDollsPlay Fact. children are weird!! 😂😂. I think it's only natural that 'onlies' are less focussed on feeding & changing 'babies/dolls' whereas those with younger siblings are less focussed on it. I think they see babies as more 'interesting & interested' than they are!

I don't think it means your DD will forget to wash, change & feed her children in the future!

some 'onlies' will E more mothering & others will be more 'inventive'. It really doesn't mean anything!!

your friend made a weird comment, best to just ignore.

Quveas · 29/12/2022 21:59

My parents - and I am now 65 - kept buying me dolls. They went on a shelf and barely ever got touched. There is no right or wrong way to play with dolls, any more than there is a need to play with them at all simply because you are a girl. There is no such thing as "normal" - she's playing, she's happy, leave her to it. Not aspiring to have babies / change nappies etc sounds like no bad thing!

Toddlerteaplease · 29/12/2022 21:59

I can't remember changing my many cabbage patch kids nappies. I only ever fed the one that had a bottle in a pouch round her neck (and burped)

Reugny · 29/12/2022 21:59

@SkylightSkylight there are other settings were onlies and youngest children see babies being fed and changed.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 29/12/2022 22:00

I never fed my dolls, because they were made of plastic so I fully understood that they didn't eat, drink, pee or poop. Apart from Tiny Tears, and I can tell you I only gave her one drink.

Your friend is being ridiculous.

jetadore · 29/12/2022 22:02

The idea that there’s a “right” way to play with dolls (or any toy for that matter) is the only thing that’s “weird” here.

Shadope · 29/12/2022 22:02

@SkylightSkylight but whether a child has a sibling or not doesn’t affect their understanding babies need to be fed and changed! And surely even if true this would only ever be factual for the older sibling hence all youngest siblings would be ‘onlies’ in this respect. Only children are not less caring, not more selfish and not less happy.

SarahAndQuack · 29/12/2022 22:08

I think this sounds very normal. I think it'd be highly unusual for a child to engage in totally 'realistic' imitative play with all of their toys.

purpledalmation · 29/12/2022 22:09

Tv adverts are a big influence on learned behaviour