Is the way DD plays with dolls odd?

[AllInTheDollsPlay]

DD is 8, school year 4 if relevant.

She loves dolls. Has several baby annabells and similar. She likes to push them round in a toy pram or carry them around, they do go everywhere with her - they sit and watch her in the bath or go in the bath with her if they can - but she doesn’t feed them or change their nappies or their clothes, she just carries them and pushes them around. She does wash the babies in the bath and is constantly singing to them.

I thought it was because she was an only child with little experience of babies as all my friends have older DC.

But a friend said her only DD knew how to “play” with dolls and fed them and changed them etc. I didn;t have much contact with babies but remember feeding and dressing my dolls up.

DD does have dyspraxia and dyslexia as well as Arthritis and Shallow sockets in her joints, not sure if this is why.

She’s happy as she is; laughs if someone pretends to feed her dolls and doesn’t get upset if I change their clothes, she just doesn’t do it herself.

She does play “normally” with other types of toys, she loves building schools with her playmobil and lego, has a lol dolls house she plays shops with (the lego men go shopping as well) and she has remote control cars that she drives up and down the hallway saying their racing and they often have a doll or soft toy or barbie sat in them.

So AIBU or is my DD “normal”?

Well it sounds completely abnormal to me…my dd never ever played with dolls 🤷‍♀️ My point being @AllInTheDollsPlay they all play differently there is nothing wrong with how she plays.

former nursery teacher- Your daughters fine. She realizes that the doll is just a toy and not real and dosent need to be fed. No big deal!

OP, you asked So AIBU or is my DD “normal”? This may have been confusing, as you're getting 91% voting YABU. But I think that's the percentage that think you aren't being unreasonable.

Anyway, in other words, most of us (including me) think your DD's play behaviour is absolutely normal and nothing to worry about. Your friend seems to have rather stereotyped views and expectations.

My DD did that!! She hated (still hates) dolls, but would treat her cars and trucks like little dolls lol!

There is no “proper” way to play with dolls and it’s a bit worrying that your friend thinks there is.

If your DD is having fun with her dolls then she’s playing with them properly. Even if her way of having fun was to stack them up and see how many toy dinosaurs could be catapulted over them.

Your daughter can make a lot more sense of dolls than I ever could as a kid, and I grew up into a functioning(ish) adult... and my failure to play with dolls did not predict any problems I do have. Don't worry.

Your friend is bizarre OP. Boy mum here… never in 9 years have the boys felt the need to feed or change superheroes, action man, Lego figures, PlayMobil characters…

let your daughter play as she sees fit

Christ, we don’t have to pathologise everything! I knew kids who had tea parties with their dolls and others who played out dolly executions, both turned out fine. There isn’t a “wrong” way to play.

She pushes them in prams, and bathes them, and carries them and sings to them and keeps an eye on them/gives them a change of scenery. This is playing normally, no? So are you really just worried about her not feeding or changing their clothes/nappies? That doesn't sound worrying to me.

My DD is 9, year 5. She still loves dolls and got a new one for christmas. She doesn't pretend to feed it, but carries it everywhere and changes it's clothes a lot. But she asks me to help with that a lot. She is also dyspraxic/DCD, so it may be that your daughter just struggles with it, or isn't interested in clothes. I love baby clothes so I have probably influenced that as I buy baby clothes for her dolls in charity shops and baby dale rails regularly.

My DD used to watch a lot of roll playing doll channels on YouTube. If you think your dad would benefit from some more role play inspiration you could show her some of those but they will end up driving you mad.

She’s perfectly normal, playing with them in her own way.
Why should a child want to “feed” and “change” dolls anyway?

Thanks everyone I think with her other issues my friend panicked me.

Had a chat with DD this morning about what she's carrying her dolls and she says they talk to her and they go to sleep in her pram and then they snore loudly. She also has a favourite doll which I never realised!

So she definitely is playing with them in her own way and there is definitely the imagination there if they talk to her.

Sounds completely normal play to me!

I think all kids are different. My year 4 thinks dolls are "creepy" and has never played with one. The only toys she likes now is Lego.

I used to throw mine down the stairs and then draw injuries on them 😳

Haha would love to see the ‘diagnosis’ on MN for that

Your daughter is completely normal. Your friend on the other hand is definitely odd.