Is the way DD plays with dolls odd?

[AllInTheDollsPlay]

DD is 8, school year 4 if relevant.

She loves dolls. Has several baby annabells and similar. She likes to push them round in a toy pram or carry them around, they do go everywhere with her - they sit and watch her in the bath or go in the bath with her if they can - but she doesn’t feed them or change their nappies or their clothes, she just carries them and pushes them around. She does wash the babies in the bath and is constantly singing to them.

I thought it was because she was an only child with little experience of babies as all my friends have older DC.

But a friend said her only DD knew how to “play” with dolls and fed them and changed them etc. I didn;t have much contact with babies but remember feeding and dressing my dolls up.

DD does have dyspraxia and dyslexia as well as Arthritis and Shallow sockets in her joints, not sure if this is why.

She’s happy as she is; laughs if someone pretends to feed her dolls and doesn’t get upset if I change their clothes, she just doesn’t do it herself.

She does play “normally” with other types of toys, she loves building schools with her playmobil and lego, has a lol dolls house she plays shops with (the lego men go shopping as well) and she has remote control cars that she drives up and down the hallway saying their racing and they often have a doll or soft toy or barbie sat in them.

So AIBU or is my DD “normal”?

My children drew tatoos on their dolls.

I made mine do the box-splits. They were all required to be ballerinas. Was an early lesson in the fact that only some body types are suited to the job, and most unfortunately aren't.

There is no right way to play with dolls. If she was playing at torturing them to death, then maybe you could worry, but this is just silly.

Don’t worry OP, your DD sounds totally normal. And that she has a very nice nature.

When I was about 8/9 I had a huge collection of Bratz dolls. I loved to change their outfits and make them do fashion shows. Then, I used to make them fight and had a Bratz fight club.

I turned out ok….ish😂

My eldest used to play with dolls by only pushing them around in the pushchair. The youngest would only ever put them in bed with a blanket over them, or grab them by the head and throw them around!

Neither were very interested in dolls and both pretty normal children.

Your friend: “Child, why are you not wiping pretends s**ts off your pretend baby’s ar$e”

Totally normal. She will do the motherly things (singing, pushing in pray etc) with her dolls that she enjoys and she knows she doesn’t ‘have’ to feed them or change them precisely because they’re dolls. Sounds very sane and logical and normal to me. Just because your friend’s only child has seen somewhere babies fed and changed doesn’t mean your daughter has seen much of that or puts an emphasis on it.

This is unrelated because it has nothing to do with behavior but it goes to show that preconceived notions are not always correct. A relative would always comment on my son’s ‘short’ plump little legs (adorable to me) and ‘flat’ feet now as a teenager he has these great long legs and slim, and perfectly arched feet. 😂What a jackass that relative was, I see in hindsight.
If your friend is being slyly malicious with her comments I wouldn’t be around her anymore. If innocent, then don’t give it another thought. I didn’t.

I mean there’s only so many times you can hold up an imaginary piece of food to a doll and it still be exciting. Singing to them sounds lovely! Totally normal

I recently visited an old manor house and read that the children of the couple who lived there over 100 years ago, used to play with their dolls by making them little coffins and burying them in the grounds 😱

So I'd say your DD is pretty normal OP 😂

Eh? My DS fed and changed his baby before school, every morning. If she was still in the same spot, when he got home, he'd accuse me of having 'done nothing with her' all day...
She came to the shops in a buggy/sling, and was sat in a trolley.
At one point, she had a chewed up receipt rammed in to her mouth, because she had 'growed teeth'. It's perfectly normal.
He doesn't play like it now that he's 12 :'(

IMO there’s no right way to play with dolls... as long as she isn’t maiming or torturing them, I think your good 😁

Totally normal. There is no right way to play with dolls. Your friend's comment was somewhat weird.

Kids do odd things. That's perfectly normal.

Sounds very normal to me. I suggested my 4 year old granddaughter dress her doll so she didn't get cold and was put in my place with a withering stare and 'don't be silly Nanny, she's not real'.

One of my friends as a kid was totally preoccupied with hospitals and medicine and wanted to be a doctor (in the end, she went into a somewhat related profession). Her mother gave her a lovely doll for Christmas, and soon afterwards found the doll damaged beyond repair, and my friend crying because she couldn't find it's heart!

Your friend would have exploded if she saw me play with my dolls at that age, Sindy was in a relationship with Ken, there were three witches (one was always naked, she was “the naked witch) who were all in love with Ken and constantly tried to steal him from Sindy but it didn’t work because Ken was oblivious, only cared about his “Hawaii drum” really except he was really bad at playing it and people ran away whenever he did.

Sounds normal to me. I loved my dolls when I was little and mostly wrapped them up in blankets and pushed them around/carried everywhere. I did enjoy rotating outfits but don't recall ever being into 'nappy changing', would never pretend to bathe the dolls, dress them for the sake of playing a routine, etc. Agree with others above and I think she's just enjoying playing with them in a way that is natural to her.

I had that doll! I found the cherry container thing and spoon in my parent's loft! Still had the smell

My dd was the same. She liked pushing dolls and babies in her play buggies. She did not do anything with Baby A except push her in the buggy. She did not role play with them, such as tea parties or doctor/nurses or other imaginative play. She did not bring them to life or create imaginative stories around them. She was also indifferent to real life babies even though we thought she would like them because she liked Baby Annabell.

She has just been diagnosed with HFA in her late teens.

OP, from what you describe, your dd does engage in imaginative play in other scenarios. My dd did not. So I think it is just a quirk with dolls.

At age 8 she knows they're not real so probably doesn't feel the need to pretend to feed them etc. but just enjoys other aspects of dolls. I'm an only and loved dolls but by that age I recall just carrying them around with me more as a comfort/accessory.

My DD never showed any interest in dolls. As a teen she tells me she never wants children.

I bloody loved my dolls and wanted 6 children not enough time, not enough money

I don't think there is a right or wrong when it comes to dolls, just individual preference.

Your friend is an idiot, pay her no mind.

I never liked dolls as a child (until I was a little bit older and had Sindys) but I used to line up my teddy bears and toy animals and take a register and make them do sums. They had exercise books and everything.

No such thing as playing properly! I think your daughter sounds like good fun! And I’d take flying to the mustard doughnut shop with my magic wand and doll over feeding and changing any day 😂

It sounds like your daughter just sees them as dolls, not pretend babies. It's fine.

Many children, especially by the age of 8, are not that interested in dressing or feeding dolls. They may be more likely to treat the dolls as characters in stories or dramas. Looking back, I never enjoyed dressing dolls- it was enough of a chore to dress myself!- and was more likely to pretend, for example, that I was a teacher and they were my pupils.