Married Couples with Children

[Aquarius1234]

Why do some married people act like being married with kids is better than being single?
That they are more well rounded and wouldn't be able to so their professions and whatever else if they didn't have a family?

Everyone judges people when they see a ring on their finger whether they like it or not.
It's a statement.

You obviously do...... I don't think you can speak for everyone though!! I couldn't care less.

I'm not sure about this but when my mum (who to be fair will be considered a young grandmother) will always put on a fake ring on her middle finger when always out with the DC. I asked her why does she do this and she said so that people can think she is married when out with the DC....

I'm not sure what your point is OP but my pet peeve is when some married couples cannot do anything alone. Seriously. If I wanted to arrange a day out with the kids, my friend will say oh I need to bring the hubby with me

“What's wrong with being bitter and cynical at times? When it always tends to be true”

Not for us. Very happy after 34 years married. Our eldest has just married, too, to a partner whose parents are happily married after 29 years.
Sorry things seem not to have worked out for you. You really shouldn’t waste so much of your time thinking about other people’s circumstances.

@Mumuser124 can you please direct me to the research that shows this? Second time I've asked. Or are you just assuming that the less educated you are, the more likely you are to make poor life decisions?

The higher the level of education you have, the less likely a couple is to divorce, so would explain the lawyers, doctors etc all being married

Everyone judges people when they see a ring on their finger whether they like it or not.It's a statement

Can't say I ever look at whether people have rings on their fingers. And if it's a statement, a statement of what exactly? If I'm wandering about with three children in tow with no ring, how is that different to me wandering about with three children with a ring?

Just wave to them as you go off on your latest exotic holiday

Most do though.,,,

Does anyone here mention their ' Husband' when a plumber, gas man, builder, electrician comes round the house?
As to to not be ripped off or seen as vulnerable?
Plus it sounds better right. My husband ..

No.

I'm an adult and perfectly capable of dealing with tradespeople.

True a little bit like certain married men making a point to not wear a wedding ring. Not saying cos they have any intention of cheating, but some don't like people they don't know, knowing they are married.
There is reason men choose to wear wedding rings. I'm sure it can be that people sometimes notice they are married?

There's definitely a lot of social pressure to couple up and have children.

@Aquarius1234 I suspect this is more a "you" problem than a "them" problem. If you didn't have hang-ups about this stuff it wouldn't bother you.

Though people are people.

Yes its almost like you have to go against the grain to not do it.
Those in their mid twenties are very aware its still a thing.

Of course young happy couples can totally ignore and laugh off when any relatives ask the cliche questions.
But it's in the air .

No rings shows others you are potentially alone and or single.
Wedding rings shows your married.

Does anyone here mention their ' Husband' when a plumber, gas man, builder, electrician comes round the house?
No, unless it's relevant eg. DH has already identified the problem and thinks he knows where the source of the issue is / DH is on his way home for the appointment but has been caught up.
As to to not be ripped off or seen as vulnerable?
Mentioning a husband doesn't do that.
I've got male relatives who've been fleeced by tradespeople. Having a penis didn't stop the tradesperson knowing the relative didn't know what he was talking about.

Plus it sounds better right. My husband ..
It really doesn't sound better.

No rings shows others you are potentially alone and or single.
Wedding rings shows your married.

But who actually cares? That's the point people are making.

The fact I'm married is my business and has nothing to do with anyone else.

I've never met anyone who feels having children has helped their career. Being married, or at least partnered, might do as it (in theory anyway) more or less halves the domestic work, but most people I know who are married are married because they love their spouse, not to gain career advantage.

I never call up or deal with tradesmen for this very reason...dh deals with them all. He is more assertive than me so less likely to be ripped off and yes, loads of them are more likely to rip off women.

That's disingenuous. The whole point of women wearing a ring, changing their surname and using the title "Mrs" is to communicate to other people their status.

If it was genuinely an entirely private matter none of those things would be done.

You personally may not care or consider it alters your status, but it's nonsense to pretend none of the public statements of marriage were created for any other reason than to communicate a woman's marital status to others.

that's hilarious. I managed to have rooms knocked together, a house re-wired, several rooms decorated and a new kitchen installed without the help of a man to talk to the tradespeople. I have also managed to keep my car on the road by taking it to a reputable mechanic. I use the same tradespeople over again if happy with their work.

My ex husband was frankly a liability in all things tradespeople - he assumed everyone was out to rip him off and constantly threatened 'formal complaints' if he thought things weren't right, rather than ask questions and review. We never used the same one twice that's for sure.

True but I've seen and witnessed with my own eyes it matters to some people.
Random men / women noticing if new colleagues had ' no rings on fingers' this only happened say five years ago.
And various other examples.

I didn't say your ex husband? Needed to be there.
I said you may have referenced him once or twice as your husband.

👏 👏
Miss looks quite different to Mrs.

You personally may not care or consider it alters your status, but it's nonsense to pretend none of the public statements of marriage were created for any other reason than to communicate a woman's marital status to others.

But the Op seems to think that all of society thinks the way they do. I certainly don't and times are changing ......

In my group of friends alone we have people who have changed names to be double barrelled, those who haven't changed their name, those who wear rings and those who don't......and do you know what, nobody gives a shit.

I haven't changed my name, have only a simple wedding ring as there was no engagement or proposal and we got married on a random Wednesday morning without really telling anyone. I didn't get married to improve my social status or because society forced me to. And looking at my social and professional circles I'm not that unusual.

As for making sure you mention a husband when dealing with tradespeople!!! What century is this??