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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Married Couples with Children

177 replies

Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:19

Why do some married people act like being married with kids is better than being single?
That they are more well rounded and wouldn't be able to so their professions and whatever else if they didn't have a family?

OP posts:
TwinsAndTiramisu · 28/12/2022 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ShadowPuppets · 28/12/2022 20:39

Oh god is this part of a theme?

Oblomov22 · 28/12/2022 20:39

Eh?
What is this based on?

But if you want facts, being happily married is better. Most people want companionship. Being married with kids is better. For most. If you choose to be single, or child-free, fine.

Goldenbear · 28/12/2022 20:39

Even if this is your reality, how is it helping you to dwell on it.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:39

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:33

Lots of middle aged men think having kids helped their career? How so?

All those American rom.coms.

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 28/12/2022 20:40

Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:26

It makes me laugh how they use being married with kids and being 'normal ' to convey confidence.

You sound a little bitter? I mean I get it. I feel so sorry for my single, childfree friend. She's always out and spends money on herself. She's far to confident in herself and life choices!

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:41

Goldenbear · 28/12/2022 20:39

Even if this is your reality, how is it helping you to dwell on it.

It was my reality men earn the bucks women stay home look after the kids.

OP posts:
Worldwide2 · 28/12/2022 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HaggisWurst · 28/12/2022 20:42

You also posted recently about "smug couples" at Christmas. I think you need to work out what's making you so unhappy and focus on that instead of taking your unhappiness out on others. It's just making you sound bitter.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:43

I'm not bitter actually, I just it bizzare some men and women function better when married as opposed to divorced.
As tho in this day and age it would tarnish their reputations.

OP posts:
nancydroo · 28/12/2022 20:46

PortiasBiscuit · 28/12/2022 20:33

You are just being goady OP, have a sherry and a couple of After Eights and behave yourself.

Not fair on OP...nobody can stop at a couple

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:46

Silly example why are doctors and solicitors nearly always married and with children.
You never see a single one? Cos it helps them to poraty a certain image.

OP posts:
Lexi868 · 28/12/2022 20:47

Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:43

I'm not bitter actually, I just it bizzare some men and women function better when married as opposed to divorced.
As tho in this day and age it would tarnish their reputations.

I think a lot of this is hard to respond to because it's very generalised. Most people don't feel or act superior as a married couple.
Is there something specific that is happening that made you feel this way? Is this about someone in your life?
Because if you look close enough you will find arseholes but they don't represent the majority.

KindergartenKop · 28/12/2022 20:47

OP @Aquarius1234 can you explain in a bit more depth what the problem is?

If you look at mumsnet in general, most women struggle with balancing work and family. Marriage is something that allows security for women who have chosen to stay at home to raise kids. Hence why a lot of women on here are proponents of marriage.

Goldenbear · 28/12/2022 20:47

It's not my reality at all, in fact I'm the only woman in our group of friends (married with children) earning less than DH, although not hard for me to catch up. We are early 40's and simply can't afford mortgage for a decent house and life with men only earning the big bucks!

Giveaschitt · 28/12/2022 20:49

Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:46

Silly example why are doctors and solicitors nearly always married and with children.
You never see a single one? Cos it helps them to poraty a certain image.

Shhh, it's actually a secret club, once you get married and have kids you get handed a medical degree and a licence to practice law.

tickticksnooze · 28/12/2022 20:50

Wasn't there research that suggested men with children receive a bump in salary and career progress whereas women with children suffer the opposite? I can't remember how single/childless people came off though.

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:50

I came across loads of doctors when I was OLD 🤷‍♀️ Maybe they were secretly married and lying about being single 😬

Goldenbear · 28/12/2022 20:51

Unless this is an age thing so in our peer group age 40-44 the people involved some do the professional jobs you refer to or their equivalent and in South east now way can any of us have men only bringing in big bucks.

PinkiOcelot · 28/12/2022 20:51

Do they? Seriously never experienced it.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 28/12/2022 20:52

susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:50

I came across loads of doctors when I was OLD 🤷‍♀️ Maybe they were secretly married and lying about being single 😬

Probably lol

OP posts:
susiesuelou · 28/12/2022 20:52

It was my reality men earn the bucks women stay home look after the kids.

Not my reality! I'm the breadwinner in this house as well as mother to two kids.

AftersomeAdvice234 · 28/12/2022 20:52

what is this really about to you?

Hmmmmnotsure · 28/12/2022 20:53

It's funny you should say that, only after I got married and had children was I able to engineer a spacecraft and fly to the moon.

DashboardConfessional · 28/12/2022 20:54

It is better. Do you know how much money we've saved in sharing housing costs over the last 18 years?

😉

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