To say that if it wasn’t for DILs…

[Iwanttoslowdown]

Most MILs darling sons would not:

Receive Birthday cards / presents
Receive Christmas cards / present
Invitations for Christmas or any other family event
Have much of a relationship with their Grandchildren

And in return, MIL have generally given us their sons that

Think there is a towel fairy
And a diary that orders Christmas presents and send cards
And a fairy that responds to endless messages from school
And a patience fairy for said MIL who expects all of the as above

The End.

Well if it doesn't say much about DILs taste in men

Depends on the son, really.

DH drives almost all of the PIL interaction in our family. He’s very proactive with gifts, cards, planning visits etc to his parents.

He has his faults, but delegating his parents to me isn’t one of them.

Are you married to my husband 😂 I left our house a day earlier than DH. I had bought & packed everything except my own present, which we'd bought together. He left it at home.

DH buys the presents and cards for his mum and dad, grandma and sister. He takes the DC to see his mum, dad and grandma. Does his fair share of cooking if they come round here. I think he's pretty good at all of that.

I usually do the school messages but he does his share with most other stuff.

Nice that women are to blame for the failings of men.

What a load of shit. You should choose better. My DH has always done gifts and cards for his family, he would think I had lost the plot if I offered to do it.

Well, I hope I have raised my sons better than to waste time and money and energy sending me Christmas or birthday cards. If that suddenly started happening I would be very disappointed

My partner is a fully functioning human who would never take the piss of me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn’t accept anything else.

Dh always steers how often and when we see his family. We have been married 28 years soon. I after 10 years or so started meeting mil separately. I had a close and loving bond w her miss her dearly.

Most MILs darling sons would not:
Receive Birthday cards / presents
Receive Christmas cards / present

Eh? So the sons would no longer receive cards or presents from their own mums/rest of their family if their wives didn't intervene???

I mean this is just spot on! And also something me and my partner have just argued about!

I don't disagree with you but most DILs will maybe become MILs! And you could argue that the DILs that do everything for their husbands are part of the problem - I am not (and never have been) a towel fairy.

My MiL brought my dh up very well. Not without flaws, but after 20 years he is easy to live with and we're very in love.

My birth Mother is a truly awful person. I am lucky to have my MiL.

I have never bought my PIL birthday presents or organised their cards. That's their son's responsibility.
I do buy them gifts from myself 😁 Christmas is a bit of a joint effort.

I think of the gifts, buy and wrap them, remind him to call her and visit her, and moved closer to help her in her old age. I’m lovely to her despite her being a horrible person,
weve been married 10 years and together many more, but she expects that anything short of making her his no1 priority means I’m purposely keeping her baby boy from her.

Sexist. Dh does his own family’s presents and cards and gets most of our teen girls presents. He gives me amazing and thoughtful presents. Can’t relate.

Not a chance would I do any of that and more fool the women enabling useless men.

I was thinking what @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll said.

OTH my DH has got much better now I have spent 35 years retraining him. Sadly his sisters have not.

You might want to LTB, OP. DH isn’t perfect but he sorts his own family out (or doesn’t, depending on how he is feeling, but either way I don’t get involved).

OP, are you trying to console yourself for having chosen a shit man by trying to convince yourself no better options in fact exist? DH has his faults, but he buys his own family presents and cards and issues invitations, and does all household cooking and shopping, and most laundry. Yesterday he made Christmas dinner for my parents and sisters.

This stereotypical assumption doesn’t help at all.

My brother calls his mum every night. My cousin hardly ever does but is very good at the present buying.

Depends on the individuals concerned. I made it quite clear to my now DH when I met him that I would not be in charge of his side of the family RE birthdays (Christmases we plan together). We share childcare, MIL and my mum can contact either of us RE seeing/organising the kids. The only part I agree on is the towel issue but I get that from my own mum - she is towel obsessed so I also have a massive cupboard full of them. Even the dog has luxury towels by dog standards.

Fuck that. I couldnt even tell you which month my mil's biryhday is off the top of my head. That is my husband's responsibility. I think its may.

I find threads like this offensive blaming mothers for how their sons turn out.
What about their fathers do they not play any part in bringing up their sons.

Did the FILs not have an input into their sons upbringing? Do they kit receive gifts.