To say that if it wasn’t for DILs…

[Iwanttoslowdown]

Most MILs darling sons would not:

Receive Birthday cards / presents
Receive Christmas cards / present
Invitations for Christmas or any other family event
Have much of a relationship with their Grandchildren

And in return, MIL have generally given us their sons that

Think there is a towel fairy
And a diary that orders Christmas presents and send cards
And a fairy that responds to endless messages from school
And a patience fairy for said MIL who expects all of the as above

The End.

What a load of sexist bullshit.

Sounds like an excuse to not buy cards and gifts or bother engaging with your family tbh.

Me and DP lived apart for 15 years (my choice), before he moved in 5 years ago. The first thing I told him was "I'm not your mother so don't expect me to act like I am. You're responsible for your own appointments/present giving/mess". There were times at the beginning where I got such things as " this shirt needs ironing" to which the reply was "you know where the iron is....crack on", or "my medication is getting low"...."well you best put in a repeat prescription then if you don't want to end up in hospital". Now he just gets on with it.
You can't blame anyone else for how your DH is if you enable him to be that way, regardless of how he was brought up. Why wait until you have DC before deciding you're not going to put up with it?

Yeah, it’s all their mother’s fault. Adults are just robots programmed by their Mums, no other influences, either cultural or genetic.

No to be fair to mil...I have heard ex say (when I've complained about his incompetence) "My mum told me that too." She tried.

@FancyFelix totally agree.

Very good idea to keep pushing back ..DH dealing with this and this is advice I will be giving to my DC as well, from the get go, do not take on a bridge role.

Several friends still have/have had 1950’s set up because that’s the way they were brought up.

The society has evolved though and today’s lifestyle is much busier than it was then.

Women need to stand up for themselves and responsibility is on both parents to show their kids ins and outs of everyday life.

We mollycoddle kids then act surprised when they don’t know how to… (insert chore of your choice).

I still remember the poster who got absolutely slaughtered by posters on AIBU for not washing her DD’s school tights the day before DD needed them (in the evening).How she could possibly expect only 12yo to do it herself!
Aforementioned DD was 12 yo and was familiar with washing basket/laundry routine in the house.She chose not to follow the routine and notified her DM about lack of tights for following day in the evening.

This very much reflects today’s attitude of several able bodied people “why bother myself if somebody else can do it”. By stepping in we absolve people of responsibility.

Let them fuck up and face the consequences. This is the only way for them to learn.
Refuse take responsibility for somebody else’s action (or lack of it). Refuse to take the blame.

Somebody’s lack of planning is not my emergency. I will step up of course if/when needed but only after assessing the situation whether it needs my involvement.

I do none of that for DH, because he's fully capable of doing it himself. She's not my mother.