To expect a family of educated, emotionally intelligent professionals

[Idontmeanto]

To think to leave a parking space on host’s drive for the disabled family member with restricted mobility?

Happy Christmas!

Is it possible that not everyone remembers what sort of car you drive? So second/third people to arrive assume yours is already in...
(Yes, it probably has a blue badge sticker, but you can't necessarily see that until you've got out.)

🤣 Glorious!

You'd think that knowing the person concerned is the holder of a blue badge - awarded specifically because they are deemed by a professional to be unable to cope with the additional distance for reasons such as pain, balance, safety, vision or something else because they can't walk safely or without pain as far as everybody else would lead posters to think that perhaps saying 'it's not that far really, it won't hurt them' or 'why should somebody have to trouble their busy and important minds with thinking of somebody else?' would be a rather embarrassing thing to do.

But hey, it's only disability.

Well if there were a few other arrivals I doubt this was malicious - more likely that simply nobody thought ‘hang on is relative we see a few times a year coming or not? Has it been arranged to save them a driveway space?’

I think in life you absolutely must get used to speaking your needs. ‘Oh yeah I’d love to come for Christmas! Please save me a space on the driveway and I’ll arrive before everyone else to ensure my saved space is convenient.’

The last one to arrive should have been told to park elsewhere.

I'm not quite sure what 'emotionally intelligent' means. Is it simply being empathetic?

When parking , would they necessarily have known that the disabled guest was not already present in the home? Would anyone have objected to moving a vehicle to accommodate the disabled family member? Did the disabled family member notify other family members about his or her expected arrival time?

So many factors to be considered in determining the logic or thought behind the actions. Courtesy should not only be given to the disabled, it should also be expected from the disabled or their care providers.

How do you judge emotional intelligence though?

My father is academically gifted, extremely gifted he is still a skilled manipulative narcissist abuser

Such a snobby post. What do you mean educated? Are they all medical doctors? Or do they have Art History degrees?

Emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean being able to mind read.

Emotionally intelligent does mean being able to articulate what you want/need to others.

So OP, if you or one of your guests has a need, just ask for it. Don’t be silent and fume about it afterwards.

This.

Although, I suspect from the tone of your post(s), you aren't actually asking because you want to know if YABU or not, as you have already made up your mind ?

If you have told them so, then yes. If its people who come often enough to know without you reminding them, yes. Otherwise, no.

As a disabled person myself with a blue badge, I’m afraid YABU, as the majority of people do not possess critical thinking skills, or the ability to look beyond the present time, and see the consequences of their actions.

Well in fairness, only the person who took the last remaining drive space is culpable. It would have been daft for all three of them to have avoided the drive.

If the disabled person can park on the street when no one else can, even if it means blocking the other cars in, then surely that makes more sense?

My ex dh is a blue badge holder but can still walk a short distance from the road to the house with no problem!

Oh I pressed send too quickly, meant to add that even the most educated, intelligent people don’t possess common sense. I know of many couples who are very high up in the civil service, nhs, and other supposedly critical thinking jobs that have no common sense.

If the BB holder can walk the 3m of a drive and the non-BB holders would have to walk 300m to leave a drive space for the BB holder to use the drive, YABU. Being able to park immediately outside the drive is one of the benefits of a blue badge.

It's better for a BB to be in pain for 3m than somebody not a BB holder to not be in pain at all for 300m?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Surely you have a discussion with the BB holder to ask what suits them best? Parking on the road might suit us better as wheeling the wheelchair across a lawn because the driveway is too narrow for cars and a wheelchair means more mess in the house and in the car than wheeling it over paths and pavements.

It's better for a BB to be in pain for 3m than somebody not a BB holder to not be in pain at all for 300m?

But you are taking a massive leap there.
Having a BB doesn't mean you are going to "be in pain" because they have walked 3m and wouldn't be in pain without having to walk 3m.

Plus, of course, that anyone who doesn't have a BB can easily walk 300m.

You are just wildly speculating here.

There’s nothing in OP to imply the BB holder is in pain, nor that they can’t walk 3m, just that they have a blue badge disability.

My father has a BB and can’t walk 50m without pain but is totally fine for 3-5m.
My MIL has a BB and it makes no difference to her comfort if her wheelchair goes 2 metres on the drive or 8 metres from
the kerb.

I don’t know where you are but where I am it’s chucking it down.
I wouldn’t expect someone to walk 300m in the rain for the sake of a car length unless I knew the BB holder couldn’t manage a car length.

People have BB for many conditions.

Ah - well if the disabled visitor can use the road and the others can't then that may well have been their thinking to make best use of the available parking spaces.

This.

I would expect the OTs at my hospital to not park in the blue badge spaces in between visits but they always do no matter how much the receptionist shouts at them on behalf of my client with a disability. People who should get it don't get it.