Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To expect a family of educated, emotionally intelligent professionals

153 replies

Idontmeanto · 26/12/2022 15:15

To think to leave a parking space on host’s drive for the disabled family member with restricted mobility?

Happy Christmas!

OP posts:

MichelleScarn · 26/12/2022 15:57

Ah much cross posting there!

TidyDancer · 26/12/2022 15:58

I think it sounds like a sensible solution tbh, since the driver with disabilities can park on the road. How much further was the walk from the road? Even if this caused issues for the driver with disabilities I'm not sure it could be classed as anything more than an oversight (unless it caused a really long walk, in which case you'd have a point).

NippyWoowoo · 26/12/2022 15:59

Unless the drive is a mile long then no, don't see the issue parking just outside using the BB.

Have you answered yet where the others could have parked?

MichelleScarn · 26/12/2022 15:59

I think that a diagram is sorely needed... are you allowed a parking thread without one in fact?

OrigamiOwls · 26/12/2022 15:59

oviraptor21 · 26/12/2022 15:25

Ah - well if the disabled visitor can use the road and the others can't then that may well have been their thinking to make best use of the available parking spaces.

I'd assume this was the thought process. Although ideally the disabled family member would park on the drive, if they can park where's others cannot I can kinda see the logic.

However you seem to have firmly decided YANBU, which makes the question a bit pointless.

FurAndFeathers · 26/12/2022 16:00

PacificallyRequested · 26/12/2022 15:17

Way more information needed. If the drive isn't massive and there was a space right outside the house, for example, then no, not necessarily.

So you think it’s fine to expect a person with a disability to needlessly have to walk the length of your vehicle just so you can be closer?
wow

RememberNancyDrew · 26/12/2022 16:01

Educated, high EQ - but not psychic.

I'd text the people inside the house from my car and ask someone to move their car to accommodate my disability - you have to self-advocate all the time, it seems, to get through this world.

PearlclutchersInc · 26/12/2022 16:01

I work with said people, your expectations are unreasonable. They're just like anyone else... and some have to be spoonfed to do what you want them to do.

NippyWoowoo · 26/12/2022 16:03

So you think it’s fine to expect a person with a disability to needlessly have to walk the length of your vehicle just so you can be closer?
wow

I think this is disingenuous. Presumably the BB holder also parks in spaces at supermarkets etc where the closest spot is farther away than the walk from the road to the house in question.

LolaSmiles · 26/12/2022 16:03

If the street outside wasn't double yellows and only available for a blue badge holder to park on then I'd say YANBU, but expecting other people to park in different streets when there's a way for ever to park in front of the house sounds like you're looking to be offended.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/12/2022 16:10

Have you spoken to them about it?

Well, I guess not, hence posting here.

Call them out on it.

Bunnycat101 · 26/12/2022 16:11

Well where did the family member park in the end? The first arrival would have taken space no.1. If the family member with limited mobility needed to be right by the house then would have been sensible to have made that clear and arranged to arrive earlier than the others. Otherwise there would surely be no practical difference between taking the last drive space and parking on the double yellows to block the others in.

ReneBumsWombats · 26/12/2022 16:12

Ask them to move?

Pinkdelight3 · 26/12/2022 16:20

I expected more awareness of accessibility.

People have a lot on their minds. Recalibrate your expectations and communicate.

thelobsterquadrille · 26/12/2022 16:21

If there's parking for the BB holder on the street, I don't necessarily think they're being unreasonable, just a bit selfish/thoughtless.

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 26/12/2022 16:34

Have you communicated any of this to your guests or parked your car elsewhere (assuming disabled family member isn’t in your household)? I have a shared drive, there’s no parking outside on the road but there is a lay-by, if I had several guests coming to my house I would park my car in the lay-by, ask my more able bodied guests to park in the lay-by and also remind my guests that’s it’s a shared drives so to park on my side. I’d also offer to help someone park because space is tight down the side of the house.

Presumably, you could have parked your car in the streets about 300 yards away and asked your guests if the disabled member wasn’t there yet and space on the drive was limited to park there too. If you haven’t communicated this, it’s reasonable to assume disabled family member could use double yellows, as presumably they walk further when they go out.

Threeboysandadog · 26/12/2022 16:34

NippyWoowoo · 26/12/2022 15:59

Unless the drive is a mile long then no, don't see the issue parking just outside using the BB.

Have you answered yet where the others could have parked?

Thinking this is what lead to my mother becoming housebound. Friends took her out saying they would drop her at the door before parking only to find a “good space” in the car park which “wouldn’t be too far for her to walk”. She just stopped going and could only leave the house if I took her.

OP ask one of the other guests to move.

Justgorgeous · 26/12/2022 16:37

Worklessplaymore · 26/12/2022 15:18

Sadly op there are lots of highly intelligent people about who have (a) no common sense and (b) very little thought for anyone but themselves.

Absolutely this.

LearnerCook · 26/12/2022 16:37

You're absolutely right to be annoyed, OP. When it comes to parking a car, all thought for anyone else goes out of the window.

Your guest should not have to park out on the double yellow lines and struggle in to the house.

A lot of people have no grasp of, or just don't care about, the issues faced every day by people with disabilities. You are very kind to be so thoughtful.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 26/12/2022 16:39

Christmas is a busy and chaotic time if lots of family members are coming and going. I think if the person genuinely needed a space on the drive they would have been wise to ask this in advance. An emotionally intelligent person would probably do that .

MichelleScarn · 26/12/2022 16:40

Is op the host? If so, I'd have thought they'd have just said to last person by call or text park on the street to leave space for X... I'm assuming op is the one who has struggled to walk up the drive?

Motelschmotel · 26/12/2022 16:43

So the other people can park 300 yards away or on the driveway, and you can park outside the house or on the driveway.

Does your disability preclude you from walking from the road to the house?

Where did you end up parking in the end? Did you call someone in the house to ask them to move a car off the driveway?

Bosk · 26/12/2022 16:44

I'm assuming OP is the aggrieved visitor, from her tone.

melj1213 · 26/12/2022 16:44

I think we need a diagram as I can't understand why it's so terrible for the BB holder to have to park on the street when they are the only one who can do so and it's not a huge extra distance.

Obviously they have to walk more but unless the drive is a mile long surely it's just a few extra steps? Even a disabled bay at the supermarket will be further from the doors than the end of the drive is from most front doors so even with limited mobility it should be possible, otherwise they should have mobility aids/wheelchair to allow them to cover longer distances if they can't manage more than a couple of steps.

Is it kind to try and leave them a space? Of course, but if they can park outside the house and everyone else can either park on the drive or 300m+ away then it makes most sense for them to park on the drive and the BB holder parks on the street.

IrisCosyCottage · 26/12/2022 16:50

It sounds like you don't like them much. Why did you choose to spend time with them if even their parking irritates you?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread