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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get irrationally annoyed when people hijack threads to have conversations between themselves completely ignoring the OP

80 replies

notalone · 03/02/2008 13:43

This has only happenned to me once but I see it happen on other threads too and it really gets my teeth gnashing. Someone starts a thread then two or three others give the OP a one word answer before launching into a conversation between themselves with injokes etc and then the whole thread end up being about them and not about the subject the OP originally brought up. I am a bit pre menstrual and probably a teeny bit irrational but I just think it is rude and wouldn't happen in RL.

OK, will go now after having my rant

OP posts:
alicet · 03/02/2008 13:53

Actually it would happen in rl. Yes it is rude there too but at least it's a bit easier to steer the coversation back where you want it. Can see why you're irritated and in some ways I'm with you but I think you are being a tiny BU. Sorry

Maidamess · 03/02/2008 13:56

Yes it annoys me too. It often happens on threads that are a bit controversial. OP posts, gets flamed and then the in jokes start. Boring! Those are the ones I hide.

PestoMonster · 03/02/2008 13:58

So, how are you Alicet? Can't think we've met before, but just thought this might be an excuse to hijack a thread....

Original poster
notalone · 03/02/2008 14:01

Pestomonster - you are mean lol

Think I need to learn to start hiding threads. I just can't abide rudeness but if I don't know about it then it can't bother me hey?!

OP posts:
Maidamess · 03/02/2008 14:04

Yep, hide those smug threads.

FrannyandZooey · 03/02/2008 14:05

the thing is, a thread is an organic thing and doesn't 'belong' to the OP

if I started a conversation on one topic in RL, and was given quick replies by the other people who were present, and they then changed the subject to something completely different, I wouldn't find this rude or upsetting in itself

I would just think they had said all they wanted to say on the matter and now wanted to talk about something else

this isn't rude, it's life

Cappuccino · 03/02/2008 14:08

sometimes you see posters that you haven't seen for a while and you want to thank them for something or acknowledge or update them on something

I think in the past week I have probably had this kind of conversation with MamaG and Nailpolish because I wanted to thank them for something they had helped me with earlier in the week

if you saw a friend of yours chatting to another friend in town, and you wanted to say thank you for something, would you ignore them completely and wait to call them when you got home, or would you tap them on the shoulder and say 'Hi, thanks for so-and-so' and then go on your way?

princessmel · 03/02/2008 14:09

Hi F and Z

I've done this with you before on a thread. I just saw you and had to tell you about dd's progress. (6 weeks btw)

Fwiw I agree with f and Z.

princessmel · 03/02/2008 14:11

Capp, thats what I was just saying to Franny. Once I wanted to tell her about how dd was getting on without bm and hijacked a thread to tell her. It wasn't done in a nasty way.

And I answered the OP first.

FrannyandZooey · 03/02/2008 14:12

oh 6 weeks really princessmel! I do it all the time and it doesn't bother me in the slightest if other people do it

I have occasionally thought "oh dear my subject was not so interesting" and perhaps felt slightly glum, but I don't think the other people are RUDE

half of us are complete strangers, but you want them to stand around talking about something they have no interest in, just to be polite to you? I think if you get ANY answers on a thread it is a nice and positive thing. People have taken the time to respond.

princessmel · 03/02/2008 14:15

Yes, I'm not sad about it now. Well most of the time.

And dd is doing great. At swimming last week she saw my breasts and pointed at them and said' mummys milkies, all gone now, I'll have some another day'. I was very proud of her.

Plus she's seen friends bfeeding their babies (ok they're 12 weeks and not 2) and has had a very good look but not been sad or even mentioned it.

She poked them at story time too and said 'milkies all gone now'.

FrannyandZooey · 03/02/2008 14:18

aww for both of you
it really worked out well didn't it
I do understand about feeling sad though

anyway will stop now as OP will think we are taking the piss

OLDroot · 03/02/2008 14:18

as an oldie let me into a secret - this was the birth of 'CHAT'

We didn't have 'chat' but as more and more people joined, the nature of the site changed and loads of people would 'chat' in threads that were about specific things - arguing and flouncing occurred and chat was 'born'

Loads of people thought this would bring MN down market - chat? OMG that kind of thing is not for us

So leave your chats for 'chat

mellowma · 03/02/2008 14:20

Message withdrawn

FrannyandZooey · 03/02/2008 14:21

i will chat where I please [huff]

princessmel · 03/02/2008 14:24

Yes, and if I spot someone whilst answering a thread , Franny for example, I am going to talk to her if I want to. So there.

Yes Franny its really been ok . I'm really happy we did it as long as we did.

mustrunmore · 03/02/2008 14:25

Why do I feel instincively guilty atthis thread title, even though I'm fairly sure I havent done this lately?!

OLDroot · 03/02/2008 14:27

frannny - you see that is how it was -

don't tell me what to do'

lalalalala

Do I care - NO

Just thought you may like the history of this

FrannyandZooey · 03/02/2008 14:33

no it was interesting beety (that is you isn't it?) and I wasn't particularly being serious

I need winkies attached to every ruddy post don't I? I am not very good at putting comedy crossness across I think

Tutter · 03/02/2008 14:35

sorry but that's bolleaux

there's no rulebook for mn convos

it wold be a blardy strange one if there was, mind

Tutter · 03/02/2008 14:35

(in response to op)

hunkermunker · 03/02/2008 14:35

PMSL at calling them "winkies" - Harpsi will tell you off for that, Franny. You must call them "penises"

OP, yeahyeah, woddevah.

FrannyandZooey · 03/02/2008 14:36

she HAS told me off and she discovered my 3 y o did not actually know what a penis was which was quite bad

Tutter · 03/02/2008 14:38

oh dear will i be in trouble with hunker? we call them percys (percies?) in the tutter house

ds1 last night called me through to the bathroom to discuss "percy hard" for the first time (he's 2.8yo)

one for the diary...?

Tutter · 03/02/2008 14:38

i tell a l,ie it was Percy Big