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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My MIL regifted the birthday gift I bought

123 replies

ShepherdMoons · 25/12/2022 16:17

Xmas Day..opened our gifts from PIL. MIL has regifted two gifts that I bought for her birthday. I chose these gifts and they are lovely, she has gifted them back to me!

AIBU to think this is a bit cheeky? I don't know whether to say something to her.

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 25/12/2022 16:18

Meh.

That’s her birthday present sorted. Give them straight back.

She’s given you the gift of time.

TennyTroo · 25/12/2022 16:20

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 25/12/2022 16:18

Meh.

That’s her birthday present sorted. Give them straight back.

She’s given you the gift of time.

Absolutely this.

I'm really hoping she then re-gifts back to you, and so on, and it's never mentioned by either of you, but continues forevermore.

labazslovesliving · 25/12/2022 16:20

quite agree pass them back again

MichelleScarn · 25/12/2022 16:21

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 25/12/2022 16:18

Meh.

That’s her birthday present sorted. Give them straight back.

She’s given you the gift of time.

This! 'Oh MIL! You must really have loved the one I got you for your birthday! Thanks!'

BloomingXmas · 25/12/2022 16:21

I agree with @TheLightSideOfTheMoon , maybe make it a game. Regift it to her for her birthday and she can give it to you for her birthday.
didn’t you say “oh mil, you liked the ones I bought you so much that you got me some too?

quinceh · 25/12/2022 16:22

Although not a fan of regifting, I actually think that’s quite funny. A friend did it to me once.
I’d just keep them. On the plus side at least you think they’re lovely 😊

BloomingXmas · 25/12/2022 16:22

@MichelleScarn cross post 😁

Beldam · 25/12/2022 16:23

My mother has done this to me today too.

its wierd. She has an emotional attachment to Lily’s and I know this was what I bought her. Ah well…

butterfliedtwo · 25/12/2022 16:23

Just keep them. Smile and nod moment.

Testina · 25/12/2022 16:23

Two?! That’s impressive 🤣
Is there any chance it’s a mistake? Like, the two items go together (toiletries) and she hasn’t used them and has genuinely forgotten they were from you? That’s funny rather than rude.

TidyDancer · 25/12/2022 16:24

Do you think she's being rude or forgetful? What she's done isn't okay (and I'm fine with regifting in general) but there may not be ill intent behind it.

Rule no.1 of regifting is you have to keep track of who bought you what!

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 25/12/2022 16:24

My SIL got me a lovely dressing gown from Next, still with the label on - but I know it must have been second-hand, because she'd sprayed it all over with Febreze!

Mamamia7962 · 25/12/2022 16:27

I think she probably has a box full of presents that she regifts and genuinely can't remember who has bought her what.

Sparkletastic · 25/12/2022 16:30

What were the gifts?

Original poster
ShepherdMoons · 25/12/2022 16:33

One was a DKNY purse and the other was a silk scarf. I agree, she must have a box full of regifts and has forgotten I gifted these for her birthday!

I'm a bit sad she didn't like them enough to keep them, they are lovely and just what I thought she'd like.

OP posts:
Slimjimtobe · 25/12/2022 16:34

Mine gave us a small box of roses between all four or us 😂 so if yours is nice then keep and enjoy

Sunshineboo · 25/12/2022 16:35

ok you thought she would like them but the question is now do you like them? if so keep them if not, charity shop.

Slimjimtobe · 25/12/2022 16:36

It might not be that she didn’t like them but that she didn’t feel worthy of them (some people are like that)

starfishmummy · 25/12/2022 16:39

Irs inky happened to me once, when a friend reigned me something I had given her the previous year.

Previous gifts from her had been rather odd to say the least. I'm not sure if she had chosen them or perhaps they were things that had been given to her by other people. But at least my gift to her was something I was happy enough to have back!!

Baconking · 25/12/2022 16:47

If you think they are lovely gifts then surely you're happy to receive them.
Would you rather they sat in a drawer for the next 10 years? Your MIL obviously didn't feel she would use them.

I really wouldn't mind if someone re-gifted something I'd given them. I would rather it be used than not

Getamoveon36 · 25/12/2022 16:47

Had that with a Christmas present from MIL one year, got the gift I gave her the year previously,,complete with a layer of dust.

was livid, but then thought fuck it, I had thought the gift quite lovely when I bought it for her, so enjoyed it for years and left the gift buying entirely to dh from that day onwards. One less job to do 👍

Testina · 25/12/2022 16:49

Quite personal taste items - and if she’s your MIL then she’s likely of an age where she wouldn’t need either a purse or scarf? So wouldn’t then use something not her taste, because it’s all she’s got. I think this really shows how much of gifting is a waste - things not getting used. She’s really messed up not keeping a note of the giver! But I can see why she’s put them together. They’re a similar type of gift, and as you obviously liked them (even if for her not you) it’s not unlikely she’d think they were your sort of thing! I think it’s a positive that she’s chosen two items from her re-gift stash for you, and good ones at that. Try to see the positive!! 😀

MilkyYay · 25/12/2022 16:50

I'm a bit sad she didn't like them enough to keep them, they are lovely and just what I thought she'd like.

Is it possible she can't afford to buy gifts atm and regifts anything nice she is bought herself, to save face?

AdelaideLane · 25/12/2022 16:51

My mum did this to me. It made me sad, that she didn't appreciate what I had chosen for her and in her case was too tight in money and effort to choose something I would like.
I felt quite ‘meh’ about it.

Jinglebellrocks · 25/12/2022 16:53

'Slimjimtobe · Today 16:36
It might not be that she didn’t like them but that she didn’t feel worthy of them (some people are like that)'

Really? Than I'm yet to meet any!

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