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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask your thoughts on Andrew Tate?

342 replies

bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 09:06

I went out for dinner recently and all of my nephews aged between 13-26 had a lots of respect for him.

While I agree with a lot of what Andrew Tate says he then has to spoil things with his horrific views on certain topics and I'd go as far as to say some of his points make him dangerous to young men (it concerned me how my nephews really respect him)

What are your thoughts on Andrew Tate?? But also, why do so many respect him in this way when he is so dangerous? Or is it that most people clearly secretly feel this way too?!

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walkinthewoodstoday · 25/12/2022 13:06

Respect?! He's very unintelligent and aggressive.

RamblingEclectic · 25/12/2022 13:09

I only became aware of him after all the banning and people reposting things into short forms across everything of him and his brother, which to my knowledge turned out to be in part because their online course/site encourages doing that type of promotion like a pyramid scheme, people make money from doing that, and the algorithms - and googling - follows controversey.

If you take those many, many one minute clip of them floating around, you can find absolutely horrific things, you can find things that make no sense, you can find the flashy things with cars and lifestyle that some young people admire and dream of, you can find sensible things, same for most controversial figures. Each person who has come across that content can end up with an entirely different view on them so we need to be discussing what parts they find valuable, and teaching the discernment of how to take and leave from any source, rather than ensuring they don't agree with anything either of the Tate brothers says ever because if they go into those online spaces and they see a clip of him saying 'young men, you need to workout and make money and take responsibility' - things some of those important male role models may have been saying - they're going to be confused as to why they've been put into entirely bad. Putting people into these 'good' 'bad' categories isn't helping.

I have no strong opinion or worries about them as individuals anymore than anyone else who similarly has such a following. Their popularity is more a symptom of cultural conflict and backlash than causing it - there are dozens upon dozens of people out there discussing the same topics in different ways.

I do have concerns about primary teachers discussing the impact they're seeing in schools, that parents still let their kids who are not yet old enough to have that discernment out on the internet with far less precautions than anyone would reasonably expect in person - some parents are scared to let their kids outside on their own but happy to let them online that way. We still have parents that treat the internet as entirely entertainment or entirely separate to real life and think there are no real life ramifications and we have schools that equally treat the internet similarly and in my experience, many are very behind in internet safety.

I also think we as a society are failing young people in many ways, especially with technology and modern ideas around identity it's seen in this thread with people being put into demographic boxes that actually aren't that representative and anyone who is pushing back against that is going to cause sparks, but most will just as quickly fade, but those conversations really need to happen - it's just a question of how they can happen sensibly and until then it'll be through these online clips and weak school assemblies that do very little of any benefit.

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 13:09

bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 09:27

Why are so many millions of people following him? Does no one seem to think this is strange or concerning that so many of Mn think he's so dangerous but somehow he's the most googled man on the planet? Why is this. Clearly he resonates with a lot of people - does noone find that worrying?

I think that boys and men are extremely prone to looking up to to any man who appears to have power and influence, the source of the power is much less significant than the magnitude of the power
They are too easily swayed by other bad men because they are dazzled by what they have and they want it for themselves

jalii · 25/12/2022 13:19

"He also needs to commit to an accent"

I know, the man is all over the place. He sounds beyond ridiculous.

I think he's in his late-30s now? Give him another 10 years and he'll look back on the crap he has put out into the world and cringe. At some point he will have to reckon with himself and carry the embarrassment.

I hear he's now converted to Islam. Bet they're delighted.

The man is such a tool he even managed to make Piers Morgan look dignified.

As to why teen boys listen to him - it's like anything else. Where people feel empty and disaffected they gravitate towards extremism. It's the same reason certain people who felt they were the losers in society were swayed by Farage and then voted to 'take back control.' Same reason people vote for other bombast tossers such as Trump who will apparently make them all 'great' again. It's how Hitler took hold when Germans were enduring grinding poverty in the wake of WW1. Tell people you can make them 'great' and blame someone else ... immigrants / certain ethnic groups / women....

NippyWoowoo · 25/12/2022 13:19

While I agree with a lot of what Andrew Tate says

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 13:21

I hear he's now converted to Islam. Bet they're delighted.

😂😂😂😂😂

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Shesasuperfreak · 25/12/2022 13:22

bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 13:21

I hear he's now converted to Islam. Bet they're delighted.

😂😂😂😂😂

Nah take him back we don't want him.

bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 13:26

@Shesasuperfreak 🤣🤣👍

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bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 13:29

@jalii agree but that's the worrying part why so many young boys feel empty in the first place.

And despite silly posters thinking it's a small minority of boys - it isn't.

Hence why they are holding school assemblies and writing letters to parents in schools wanting children about Andrew Tate, because it's clearly something to be concerned about.

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bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 13:31

*warning

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feellikeanalien · 25/12/2022 13:38

I hadn't really heard of him until I got an email from DDs school warning about him. He sounds awful and it's really concerning that boys would look up to him. Girls and women have enough to contend with without someone like that becoming a hero for boys and young men.

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 13:44

A lack of good fathers a lack of good male role models... is that why so many boys feel empty in the first place?
I think men go bad much more easily than women do, and when they do they cause much more damage, that's part of why 'bad' men are such a problem for society.

Chocchops72 · 25/12/2022 13:46

i Have two boys, the oldest is 15.

They have had everything that’s described above: educated, middle class parents who talk to them openly about a whole range of issues; a father who is present, involved domestically, as far from much as you can imagine; intelligent, well behaved and doing well at school etc etc. And still the oldest has talked about AT in admiring terms.

It went hand in hand with him (and many of his peers) developing an interest in sport, fitness, working out. And being impressed by videos of flash cars, big houses, attractive women. He was aware of the crap AT said about women, and we talked at some length about that. But other parts of what AT (and others like Jordan Peterson) have said have really resonated with him as he’s moving towards adulthood: take responsibility, sort your own shit out, make your own bed every day, you get out what you put in. As he’s getting older, he can see that’s some of it is fake.

OP have a look at Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves if you want to find out more about why so many boys feel lost and confused today - and are looking outside school and home for male role models.

MrsHamlet · 25/12/2022 13:49

Don't assume that all the teens who are interested in this have no good male role models. It's far more nuanced than that.

nalabae · 25/12/2022 13:49

Some things he is right on. His views on women is disgusting

WildishBambino · 25/12/2022 13:58

I hear he's now converted to Islam. Bet they're delighted.

He's spoken of his admiration for sharia punishments, such as stoning for women. Not men, just women.

Newerversion · 25/12/2022 14:02

both my sons and all five of my teen nephews find him abhorrent! As they should. I would be really concerned if they saw him as a role model.

Orangepolentacake · 25/12/2022 14:04

CaptainBarbosa · 25/12/2022 11:36

Have discussions with them from an early age. Don't fear about "adult topics" you can always frame them in a simple child friendly way.

So people like Andrew Tate to my 8 year old I will say things like "he's not very nice to women" "he thinks women belong to men a bit like your toys belong to you, that's not right is it? Nobody owns a person?"

Same for things like racism, Homosexuality and so on. These topics can be discussed in a very childlike way. For me I frame the discussion at the moment about "treating people as we would like to be treated" that it makes no difference "who we love, what colour our skin, or what religion we follow, everyone has a right to be respected and to be treated with kindness".

Also "family units" it became a topic when I became widowed but I've been able to expand on it, so some children have one mummy and no daddy, some children have a mummy and a daddy, some children have 2 daddies and some 2 mummies, but as long as everyone is happy, respected and lived it's a ok"

@CaptainBarbosa thank you!

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 14:07

nalabae · 25/12/2022 13:49

Some things he is right on. His views on women is disgusting

The way I see it, the things that he is right on serve as a trojan horse for the disgusting views that he really wants to promote.
He uses the acceptable stuff to get people to trust him and look up to him because after that they are much more inclined to uncritically swallow all the rest of it

bagthoughts · 25/12/2022 14:19

@Soothsayer1 such a good point - he uses it as a smokescreen you're right

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walkinthewoodstoday · 25/12/2022 14:24

What has he said which is acceptable?

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 14:27

Thanks @bagthoughts
I tend to see him as guru type figure or charismatic (not saying I personally find him charismatic) who understands, possibly mostly implicitly but it may be more explicit, that he needs to get people to trust and admire him first and then he's got them hooked and they will believe almost anything he tells them.

ywnbarwkitty · 25/12/2022 14:29

His mummy argued with his daddy and he felt emasculated now hes trying to push the opposite and make money because there are younger stronger kickboxers. His brother is a grifter too, managing some desperate 40yo woman called Diana deets who uses the child filter on her onlyfans. Best ignored by people in the real world.

OneTC · 25/12/2022 14:34

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 14:07

The way I see it, the things that he is right on serve as a trojan horse for the disgusting views that he really wants to promote.
He uses the acceptable stuff to get people to trust him and look up to him because after that they are much more inclined to uncritically swallow all the rest of it

And this is what all of them do. This is how indoctrination works. See also how people get suckered into conspiracy theories before it becomes clear that many of them are based on anti semitism.

Christmascracker0 · 25/12/2022 15:42

walkinthewoodstoday · 25/12/2022 14:24

What has he said which is acceptable?

Here are a few awful things he has said, you can Google to see more 😬

wegotthiscovered.com/celebrities/the-8-worst-things-andrew-tate-has-said/