To donate my sperm or not?

[Ineedlegalhelp]

My female friend, in her mid 40s, is asking me to help her conceive by sleeping with her without protection

i am 40 years old. Single. Unmarried. And without a child. All my choice
She is also single, unmarried, and without a child but desperately needs/wants one

Is there any way I can do this for my friend, and still protect myself from compulsorily having to pay child support?

I worry that I may be pursued for child support in the future. Although she is promising she won’t do that, I want to be sure, legally speaking, that I can protect myself and my finances

Any advice please

Don't do it.

God no

Don't do it. Mid-forties is probably too late anyway and full of health risks.

No way would I consider this if I were you .

What could go wrong? Sounds perfect. 🙄 ffs get a grip.

You can't protect yourself from future claims.

Add in all other possible complications, don't do it.

It's very easy too use a proper sperm bank.

Encourage her to use an anonymous sperm donor. There could be so many issues beyond the one you Identify. If you are to remain friends with her the relationship or lack of with your biological child could be very difficult for both of you.

The only way you could do this without being legally the father is to go via a licensed fertility clinic & register as a known donor to donate just to her. It would cost her a fair bit & you would have to undergo screening tests.

Also it can take months for someone of 40 to conceive ( assuming you are both fertile)

No

How do you know you are fertile?

Btw - how do you know she has not STI etc?

What about your friendship? Don't you value that? Because that's what you would likely loose.

What's in it for you.. except a shag?

Have you ever had sex with her?

You do realise that it‘a highly unlikely for a woman in their mid-40s to get pregnant? Certainly not just by sleeping with her once. You’d be having to sleep with her many many times, and on her schedule.

Absolutely silly idea, it’s like something that a pair of teenagers dreamed up.

I know I am fertile because I have tested it. Moreover, I unfortunately got a former girlfriend pregnant too. She terminated it because we both didn’t want children. Birth control failed and she got pregnant

Wow... your main concern about this is paying child support, really...

Don’t do it. As pp have said she is highly unlikely to conceive having sex just once. And nobody NEEDS a child.

She is a friend. Helping a friend is what’s in it for me. I can get a shag elsewhere if and when I want. That’s not a problem. I have a steady FWB that I meet up with when we are both chanced. So shag isn’t my problem at all

Don't do this. Without serious legal advice you're landing in a mess of potential liability if a child results from this encounter. But actually if your friend is in their mid-40s, that's the less likely scenario. At that age it's unfortunately very difficult for most women to become (and to stay) pregnant and if your friend believes she has a good chance to get pregnant and have a child by unprotected sex in her mid-40s, she is probably being overoptimistic and relying on the few success stories rather than looking at the statistics. A more likely scenario is that your friend will try repeatedly to become pregnant without success (or with the emotional roller coaster of early miscarriages), and you'll be faced with impossible questions like when to stop "helping" after months without success, with all the emotional fallout that entails.

And if this is a reverse: if you are serious about trying to become pregnant, please go to a fertility doctor who can be open and honest with you about your options. Some women can become pregnant in their mid-40s, but for most women, even IVF has very low success rates after 43, and often donor eggs are the only option for a successful pregnancy.

Sounds dodgy as heck! There will always be a chance you can be chased for a DNA test and child support. More so because she knows you, knows where you live, who you are etc. No one NEEDS a child. If she's that desperate she should pay for a fertility clinic to artificially inseminate her with donated sperm she's bought.

It’s actually hard to believe that anyone could be in their 40s and think this is a good idea. The fact that either of you are entertaining this idea shows you’re extremely immature and lack critical thinking skills.

I’m not even sure this is real actually.

No way, is this even for real! There could be messy health, financial and not to mention moral issues. She can go to an accredited sperm bank. It doesn't even sound like you've thought this through properly at all.

Thank you. That is my worry indeed. And she knows my profession can be ruined by her if she raises problems for me.

my friends have told me not to do it. I just wanted to hear from women. And it seems most women here are advising me against it

Absolutely not