To donate my sperm or not?

[Ineedlegalhelp]

My female friend, in her mid 40s, is asking me to help her conceive by sleeping with her without protection

i am 40 years old. Single. Unmarried. And without a child. All my choice
She is also single, unmarried, and without a child but desperately needs/wants one

Is there any way I can do this for my friend, and still protect myself from compulsorily having to pay child support?

I worry that I may be pursued for child support in the future. Although she is promising she won’t do that, I want to be sure, legally speaking, that I can protect myself and my finances

Any advice please

It is real. 100% real.

I am ignorant in these issues as I have never been married or had a child

You choose to create a child and for some reason the mother can't financially support your child who do you suggest foots the bill instead?

This.

If it’s real, it’s one of the most stupid things I’ve ever heard. But most likely made up 💩

She earns ok. She earns about 2k a month. Her finances for now are ok. The issue is not her finances. Even very rich women often, I believe, demand financial support from the father of their kids. And when the child is small, her finances will surely suffer.

Her current financial situation is not my problem. My problem is can she, legally speaking, force me to pay child support

Even very rich women often, I believe, demand financial support from the father of their kids
🙄

Im shocked you are single.

Her promise of not pursuing child support will go out of the window as soon as she gets into financial difficulty.

My problem is can she, legally speaking, force me to pay child support.

Yes

Neither of you are considering the potential child in this situation.

How is she or he going to feel that their father literally wanted nothing to do with them but was just a friend who shagged their mum, wanting in no way to support them or have a relationship with them?!

It's one thing if your mum tells you you were conceived via a fertility clinic with a donor. But you are not that, you are alive, well and basically deciding to have nothing to do with the child.

Don't bring a human being into this twisted situation.

Even very rich women often, I believe, demand financial support from the father of their kids

How very dare they "demand" that the other parent of their child supports the child financially. Fuck me. The audacity.

Can you imagine the poor kid with these two as parents? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Praying this is made up as the kid doesn’t stand a chance.

Don't. Yes you would be liable for child support. And it could spoil your friendship.

She needs to do this properly through a clinic.

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

To keep earning £2k a month it is likely she'll need to pay say £1k in childcare. Or maybe change her job to one that pays less to care for the child you created.

Again, who do you suggest helps support the child you created?

This. In the unlikely event that this actually works your advanced ages make it very likely that the child will have issues. There are so many women on here who work PT or not at a because their child has significant problems. What is she going to live on if that is the case.

Honestly I wouldn't her IQ canny be that great to pick someone who is as clueless you by 40.

Thanks

It's a crazy idea, OP. Don't do it.

Were you planning to continue seeing her as a friend? If so, you would be having contact with the child. All sorts of potential complications for all concerned. Not least the child.

It's so ridiculous it sounds made up to me.

But if it's not.....
OP think critically....if all she wanted was your sperm...and genuinely nothing more than that....why not go to a sperm bank, or find a regular f buddy guy (whose genetics/background she knows a tiny little bit), and use f buddy for their sperm without them knowing she's not on the pill and then ghost f buddy when she's pregnant and has no use of f buddy anymore?

I don't think she's being open and honest about how much she wants from you. If it genuinely was just your sperm...she can easily find that from fertility clinics/sperm banks. If she was concerned about using a random sperm diner whose genetics she doesn't know, she could find a f buddy, get to know them a little bit and use them.

I think she wants more...for you to pay or co-parent, even if she says she won't. When she's paying sky high nursery fees, is sleep deprived and knackered....she'll be begging for help, and that's assuming she has a non disability child.

You will 100% regret this in every way possible of you go ahead.

Also, no child deserves to grow up in an environment where they were conceived intentionally, fully knowing the child would be fatherless; the child feeling unwanted and unloved by their biological father. It's truly selfish of your friend.

Encourage her to find romance, if she does, then she can go down routes of IVF, egg doner, adoption or fostering...if she 'NEEDS' a child. There are plenty of existing children requiring loving homes.

Sprint more like it 😂

The thing is your worried about someone cursing their commitment and coming after you BUT that you even consider it a possibility says you don't know this person well enough to enter into this kind of arrangement.*

*No-one does btw, cos it's stupid. You're not donating your sperm you are fucking someone with the intention of making a baby. They couldn't be more different

Thanks a lot for your advice. It really means a lot. I have said similar to her, and she basically tried to emotionally blackmail me. To guilt trip me. I stood my ground though, while being as empathic as I could be. I have picked some good points here that I will use next time we speak

You literally don’t need any good points to make to justify not wanting to impregnate someone!!!!!

just say no. And you’re not open to discussing it any more

What happens if she suddenly dies or gets ill, you could raising achild you never wanted?

It's a ridiculous idea.