To donate my sperm or not?

[Ineedlegalhelp]

My female friend, in her mid 40s, is asking me to help her conceive by sleeping with her without protection

i am 40 years old. Single. Unmarried. And without a child. All my choice
She is also single, unmarried, and without a child but desperately needs/wants one

Is there any way I can do this for my friend, and still protect myself from compulsorily having to pay child support?

I worry that I may be pursued for child support in the future. Although she is promising she won’t do that, I want to be sure, legally speaking, that I can protect myself and my finances

Any advice please

No. X

I think it's a risky choice.

Just wanted to add I agree with your points. My parents were both 45 when I was conceived naturally, and I’ve had no issues arising from that other than being orphaned shortly before my 20th birthday.

Make of that what you will, OP.

This shows your lack of understanding about women's bodies.

The chances of things like down's syndrome increase the older a mother gets. Women's bodies change during pregnancy, 1 in 1000 pregnancies end up with the mother having a cardiomyopathy.

One of my friends had two children, then a gap and she wanted a third, she got her third but she also ended up with a pacemaker.

So if she gets pregnant she may have a child with special needs or she may have to give up work either for a time or forever.

And in that case who do you think should pay for the child?

And this potential child, if it is brought into the world is a HUMAN BEING with needs, thoughts, wants. That human deserves two parents.

Sounding like a thinly veiled bash older mums thread

With proper discussion and lots of planning- possible. Plenty of lesbians have kids this way and it has advantages over anonymity and a clinic. But it needs a massive amount of forethought. I'd say child support is the least of your concerns.

Please don't do it. You might have to pay maintenance for the child despite what she says.

She is a friend but you do not owe her to be sperm donor. Support her with finding an alternative sperm donor.

Although you say you never want children, one day you may fall madly in love with someone whom you do want to have children with.

If you have Sex with her to conceive then you will be.
You are not protected.
If she wanted to claim child support at a later date, she could do.
You wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
She also isn't protected. If you decided you wanted custody, you could go for it.

In order to protect yourself from that you would need to go through a fertility clinic and do it official.
That is the only way.

I would definitely have more of a think about whether you'd want to be the donor though for someone you know as there can be complications.

I know this because I have done this.
I have a child with a known donor.
I went through a clinic and had IVF and we both signed forms etc that covered us both.
I can never claim any form of financial support from him.
He has no parental responsibility.

Higher risk of multiples too as the woman gets older...

Seriously? Do not bring a child into this world you arent prepared to support financially. End of discussion.

It’s a fair concern to have upon being asked to be a DIY sperm donor. He’s not considering a child because he wants one.

She's tried to guilt trip you into this?
For this reason alone you would be mad to consider it, because she obviously is letting her desire for a child override any questions of morality, ethics, and respecting your boundaries. So that won't change once the child is there.

JUST SAY NO! No arguments of any description are necessary.

Any child would be able to claim against you all it's life.
Neither you nor the mother can prevent this.

Can’t see what’s wrong with that everyone’s clear what the set up is
he doesn’t want to be a dad but a donor to enable someone to have a kid

You would be mad.

The child has a right to a relationship with both parents. If you don't want that, don't father a child.

No, please don't do this. Not fair on you, her or any potential child. She's being selfish

Theres no way this would end well.
You could be legally liable for formal child maintenance if she chose to pursue it, and there would be fuck all you could do about it.

Thanks a lot for your advice. It really means a lot. I have said similar to her, and she basically tried to emotionally blackmail me. To guilt trip me. I stood my ground though, while being as empathic as I could be. I have picked some good points here that I will use next time we speak^

She tried to guilt trip and blackmail you. This is before you've even agreed to donate. Imagine the emotional leverage she'd have over you if she has your child.

Yes she can.

Don't do it. If you want to help her, you could pay for a vial of sperm bank sperm. Or hold her hand (metaphorically) while she has fertility treatment.

Don't do it!!! **

Thank god your deciding not to do it. It sounds all sorts of dodgy.
This really isn’t an ideal way to create a child. Quite aside from the potential financial issues there are other issues to consider - you say you don’t want a child, yet this would create a child who may want some form of relationship with you in the future.

Either have a child with her and co parent or don't do it. It would be so weird knowing you have child who you aren't officially the father of but see. Or weird if later on she announces you are the child's dad

JFHC.. ... this is a HUMAN BEING you are going to try to create

Your main concern is child maintenance

What the FUCK is wrong with you?

Absolutely you should NEVER EVER EVER EVER create a child

Again, he’s been asked to be a sperm donor to help someone else have a child. Why wouldn’t he want to make sure he’s not liable for maintenance?