Husband wants to make 3-year-old wait to open presents

[DucklingDaisy]

Please help me settle a disagreement. We have a 3-year-old and a one-year-old. The older one is extremely excited about Christmas.

Tomorrow morning, my husband wants to make her have breakfast and wait an hour or two before opening presents. He wants to do this so his sister, who is our only guest, can sleep in a bit and then come down and participate in the whole thing. Also because he seems to just believe it's a good rule.

I think that's going to feel torturous for an excited 3-year-old. I think it's setting us up for unnecessary conflict and stress, and getting Christmas off to a terrible start. If she was a bit older it might be different. I think an acceptable compromise would be allowing her to open one present before Breakfast, then waiting no more than about an hour to do the rest. I feel really strongly about this.

Who is being unreasonable?

How old is dc sister and why does she need to sleep?

is she working late bc then yes it’s fair.

Really? That , to be honest, makes no sense. She's perfectly old enough to understand stockings

Having said that, I wouldn't be delaying anything for SIL's long lie in!

That’s just so so mean.

We did stockings to open between 3am-6am 🤣😴. Parents get up 6-8am then santa/main gifts while parents have a sleepy cuppa. Breakfast etc after. Then family gifts in afternoon after Xmas Dinner.

We always opened everything straight away when we got downstairs as kids - dh did too and that's what we do with ds

He climbs into our bed to do his stocking which gives us a chance to wake up

No waiting in our house!

What, no stocking?! Only 5 presents to unwrap? Main presents is that, or in toto?
If so, it doesn't seem like there's much of a need for the kid to get out of bed in a rush, tbh.

Stockings are not compulsory for a joyous Christmas , there was an entire thread about it yesterday / day before .

She's 31 and she's not working today. She's over from somewhere with a different timezone by a couple of hours but she got here last week.

I think I'm going to be the person who gets the least sleep because I've got a ton of stuff to get done this evening and the one-year-old still wakes several times to feed in the night.

It wasn't her suggestion, to be clear. It's my husband seeming to forget everything he knows about 3-year-olds, and our 3-year-old in particular, despite generally being a pretty kind and hands on dad.

That's so cruel!! No way. I agree with PPs - SIL gets up with your little ones or she misses out 🤷‍♀️

She could be playing with her new toys those two hours! Kids come first at Christmas imo.

I don’t get those who make their children wait. Wtf is the point in that. It’s Christmas, Santa has been . How miserable to say hey kids Santa has been but you’re not allowed to open your gifts

even worse someone makes their kids wait till the next day.

way to take the fun out of it.

Dh is being silly. She’s a grown up, she knows the score.

5 presents from us, one from my parents, one from MIL and I'm assuming something from SIL. The idea 8 new toys isn't exciting for a 3-year-old is pretty nuts to me. It's also in line with our budget this year.

Mine can have their stockings as soon as they wake up. They’ll bring them in our bed to open (hopefully not before 6am!!).

Then downstairs for breakfast and lots of coffee and then we’ll open the presents under the tree then.

I wouldn’t make an adult guest be up for stockings, but we’d hold off tree gifts til a reasonable hour if we had guests. Like 8am.

I can't understand parents that make their dc's wait to open Christmas presents. It just seems so unnecessarily cruel after they've been waiting so excitedly for Christmas morning.

In our house the dc's bring their stockings into our room as soon as they wake up and open them on our bed. Then it's straight downstairs to open all the presents. I'll pop some pastries in the oven and get dh and I a glass of bucks fizz at some point during the present opening. We eat breakfast on the living room floor surrounded by toys and wrapping paper.

I remember the first year that our eldest was old enough to understand Christmas and be excited for the presents, my dh wanted to take his time getting out of bed and told me there was "no rush" to open the presents. I told him that I was taking the dcs downstairs now so he could either get his arse out of bed and come with us or miss watching his kids opening their presents.

OP don't give in to your miserable dh!

Christmas morning for children. I say open them early morning and give your sister the choice to come down or have a lie in.

Isn't the selection box breakfast on Xmas day? If not, I've been doing it wrong for 32 years! My kids couldn't wait to open presents, they're climbing the walls already and its only Christmas eve!

That’s so mean to delay her present opening!!

We have a houseful of guests who have usually slept in until 9am all week.

Our DC wake up at 6:30am, so will bring their stockings in to our bed. I’ve told everyone else that we’re going downstairs at our usual time of 7am and will open presents then. They are welcome to join us then or open their own presents later 😊

What kind of times are you talking about, OP? If you're getting up at 8 and his sister is sleeping till 11 then that's unreasonable. If you're up at 5 and he wants to wait till 8am or something then I think that's pretty reasonable? I wouldn't expect someone without kids to get up before 8 on a day that's a holiday from work for them, Christmas or not.

As for it's the 'cruel' comments, nonsense. Every family has their own traditions and ways of doing things. You and your DH are just disagreeing about it, I don't think anyone is unreasonable, you just have different ideas 🤷‍♀️

The best bit is the kids running down to see if Santa has been! And then sitting together as a family to open presents, it’s so special. Of course your SIL can stay in bed, it makes it more special just the 4 of you anyway. Why is your partner prioritising her needs over your childrens and yours anyway?? He’s being a right twit.

We did stockings so the kids could open things before breakfast.

Ah yes, the funky toothbrush, and Matey bubble bath!

She normally wakes up between about 6.15 and 7.15. I'm guessing it might be the earlier end of that given her excitement. I want to take her downstairs and let her open something as soon as she wakes, and then maybe hang on until about 7.30 for SIL. That seems a civilised time to me, though I admit my perspective is skewed because I consider anything after 5.30 a success with the baby.

@AutumnCrow Aww my great auntie used to always get me Matey bubble bath at Christmas! A staple indeed. And the obligatory satsuma in the toe.