Husband wants to make 3-year-old wait to open presents

[DucklingDaisy]

Please help me settle a disagreement. We have a 3-year-old and a one-year-old. The older one is extremely excited about Christmas.

Tomorrow morning, my husband wants to make her have breakfast and wait an hour or two before opening presents. He wants to do this so his sister, who is our only guest, can sleep in a bit and then come down and participate in the whole thing. Also because he seems to just believe it's a good rule.

I think that's going to feel torturous for an excited 3-year-old. I think it's setting us up for unnecessary conflict and stress, and getting Christmas off to a terrible start. If she was a bit older it might be different. I think an acceptable compromise would be allowing her to open one present before Breakfast, then waiting no more than about an hour to do the rest. I feel really strongly about this.

Who is being unreasonable?

No stocking for a 3yo is a bit odd. They'd really be into it. I don't go mad but a few things you have to buy anyway like toothbrush, socks, pants are fun to open. If you had a stocking I'd see his point. Because you don't, she needs to get up.

We've always done things this way, we do stocking presents in bed, downstairs for breakfast, get dressed and tidy up from breakfast and then tree presents, help prevent over excitement. My children are 4 and 1

Fuck that noise. Let her crack on. She’s 3. It’s Christmas.

Yeah DD is most excited about her stocking over everything tonight I think!

Anyone that waits until a time later in the day other than first thing in the morning to let children open their gifts is mad in my opinion.

Wild you can't expect kids to wait on lazy adults on Christmas day!!

I do think with stockings you could've delayed going downstairs and therefore reached a small compromise more easily but perhaps that's more something to think about for subsequent years!

I don't think it's fair to make DCs wait once they are downstairs tbh, the magic of Christmas when I was a child was seeing everything laid out in the living room and rushing down shouting 'he's been!', not being made to wait just for the sake of it!

Oh there are so many things you can do in a stocking at that age though! DC is getting a book, magic flannel, bath bombs, chocolate coins, couple of cars….

We never opened presents straightaway when I was a kid, and we don't do it now. Stockings, then breakfast, then presents mid to late morning. We don't even put the presents under the tree until right before we're going to open them, so there's no temptation. It seems crazy to me not to stagger the day's activities.

I'll have to do some research for next year I guess! I did anticipate starting doing them at some point.

This. Why should a kid wait. If she wants to see it she will ha e to get up

This is exactly how we've always done it - stocking first thing just nuclear family and then breakfast, with one small present to open at the table, then the rest of the presents after. Worked every year when we were kids, works every year now we have kids.

Stockings first thing, big presents after breakfast. It was always the way we did things when I was growing up and it has worked well for our children too.

I have seen the stocking update. That's the problem! 3 years old is definitely the age when a stocking starts to become fun, and it buys time for the larger presents. When mine were that age I think they got things like art supplies, small dress-up items, board books, hair accessories, a small stuffy. Definitely not just tat and sweets. We also put more substantial things than a lot of people do in the stockings, and go a bit lighter on the gifts to unwrap.

Only give a stocking of it makes sense for your family. This buying tat for the sake of it needs to stop. It's not environmental and sends a poor message.

We did this, my dc have always done this.
It has never been an issue.

But DH & I agreed on how to do Xmas well in advance of the day.
When were you thinking of opening presents? Your guest will need a time.

Why do people make their kids do this? It's so cunty

My ex had a weird "delayed gratification is superior" habit, which also manifested itself in carefully peeling sellotape from wrapping paper and then folding it for recycling between opening presents just to properly kill off any residual joyful atmosphere. It was like he was disgusted by the whole idea of giving people gifts and that they might be pleased or even excited to open them (despite always being the richest person in the room). He would try to make our DC wait to open things too.

My point is, do not give an inch.

This is what stockings are for

But as you haven't done a stocking, YANBU. DH's sister can get up early if she's so keen to see the kids open presents.

There were a few friends whose families used to do this. Even as a young child, I thought it was weird and cruel.

I suppose I could put in things I buy her periodically anyway, like stickers and new felt tips. She seems to have amassed so much junk already, games with pieces missing, little bits from party bags... I want to get rid of about half of the toys we currently have put, adding to it seems a terrible idea. All of the things I've bought her I feel confident she'll actually play with.

After breakfast I understand.. waiting till lazy adult wakes up ..no. wake up sister and open presents after breakfast... stocking before..

Another one who always had stockings first thing and then presents after lunch. Even as an adult when at my partners house where they open presents first thing I felt the rest of the day was a bit flat after that.
I don't think it's necessary to wait for his sisters sake, if you decide to do them early she can get up if she wants to see. However I don't think it's a good idea to open first thing in general. As she doesn't have a stocking maybe let her open her Santa present first thing and the other presents later.

Why assume stockings = tat?

It hadn't occurred to me that we might do anything other than go downstairs when she wakes, revel in her excitement seeing Santa has been, and get stuck in immediately.