Husband wants to make 3-year-old wait to open presents

[DucklingDaisy]

Please help me settle a disagreement. We have a 3-year-old and a one-year-old. The older one is extremely excited about Christmas.

Tomorrow morning, my husband wants to make her have breakfast and wait an hour or two before opening presents. He wants to do this so his sister, who is our only guest, can sleep in a bit and then come down and participate in the whole thing. Also because he seems to just believe it's a good rule.

I think that's going to feel torturous for an excited 3-year-old. I think it's setting us up for unnecessary conflict and stress, and getting Christmas off to a terrible start. If she was a bit older it might be different. I think an acceptable compromise would be allowing her to open one present before Breakfast, then waiting no more than about an hour to do the rest. I feel really strongly about this.

Who is being unreasonable?

I'm quite surprised by this as DD is 3 and knows that we wait till gran and grandpa are up before we open presents. My mum has cancer so finds it hard to get going in the mornings sometimes so we will potentially have a couple of hours to wait. Never struck me as a big deal. When I was a kid we always waited till everyone had had their breakfast. It sort of just ramped up the excitement IMO!

He's an utter dick. Kids are only young once. His sister should know tomorrow will be early. She should know kids will be excited.

No reason she needs to sleep in. It's not actually her making demands, he made a ridiculous suggestion over dinner, I had to leave the conversation to deal with the baby and I figured I'd sense check before going back to continue the argument debate.

I always think it's a good rule that when your Husband wants sex he is made to wait until you deem it's appropriate .

Noooo where's his Christmas magic??? Kids come first at Christmas not boring relatives.

His sister needs to get up if she doesn't want to miss out. It's cruel to make an excited three year old wait.

Our tradition is a stocking on waking then presents after breakfast.

What so her SIL can have a lie in??
OP feels her 3 year old has more than enough gifts, she doesn’t need to buy more so SIL can have her cake and eat it.

What is it with all these selfish bloody adults at the moment? Everyone says that Christmas is for children, and yet all these lazy buggers want to slob in bed, and expect excited children to wait for them. Do they expect a train or a bus to wait for them, while they faff around in the mornings getting ready? No, because it would be unreasonable to expect that. So my advice would be to tell your 'H' that his DS either gets up early when your child wakes up, and joins in the excitement, or she misses out. Maybe string out the opening a little bit, by letting your DC open a couple of parcels, and then saying time for breakfast, more later, but expecting them to wait when they're so excited, is just cruel.

Humbug to waiting! It’s a morning for ripping presents open like a maniac - restraint is for the other 364 days in the year.

Also it’s for the kids - visitors can get up early with them, or not. The household doesn’t bend to their sleeping habits.

When I was a kid we opened stocking presents first thing then we didn’t open family presents til after lunch. Tbh I loved it, it made the whole day exciting.

So many Grinches out there who want to ruin Christmas. The adult compromises their needs,the little ones have a day of unbridled joy. Christmas day is not the time to set boundaries, or teach restraint.

Yanbu.

On the off chance that your husband is so bullish that he 'wins' the argument, I'd be putting my foot down and saying he deals with your child from the moment she gets up and any emotional fallout.

Maybe you can have a lie in as he's so generously offered one to your sister. He can ekkk out the time until you both awake if it's that bloody easy.

Oh and buying crap for stockings that children don't need is sooo not eco or necessary at that age. Well done you for having a sensible amount of gifts.

This.

Let her open stocking (or selected subset of presents if not doing stocking) and wait for the rest.

I always had to wait for 11:30 an for tree presents and it didn't do me any harm!

Eh?? Why would you have sex with someone unless it was, iyo, appropriate for you to do so??

You have a three year old and he wants Christmas morning to revolve around his adult sisters sleep?

Absolutely not!

Children over SIL!

Save the present from the SIL and the child can open that when they are up .

Stocking is for opening in the morning as soon as they wake. I think you should do a stocking for your 3 year old to be honest as next year she’ll probably start to notice most children get them. Other presents can wait until everyone is up/arrived is how we’ve always done it. I’m afraid I think it’s really tacky when children just mindlessly rip open presents in a frenzy instead of waiting and appreciating those who gave them and enjoying giving the presents they’ve “got” to others as well.

It’ll be awful if you do that. Poor kid.

we do stockings and ‘big’ Santa gift before breakfast, then we get dressed and eat before tackling the rest.

Presumably SIL is aware that you have young children. Unless she’s an idiot, she will be aware that a 3 year old is likely to be up early and excited on Christmas morning. If she wants to see the present opening, she needs to get up.

My cousins growing up had to wait until after Christmas lunch before they could open anything. Even as a child I felt that was so cruel and bizarre.

I'm actually on the other side here. My parents made me wait until after the Queen's speech because very often you'd open presents and be bored with nothing to do after.

Waiting teaches patience and is a win for the sister and does not hurt anyone.

Santa is not bringing a stocking for a 3 year old?! That’s when it gets really magical! Too late now, but no she shouldn’t have to wait for your DH’s sister.

@C1N1C not for a 3 year old! Ours have some first thing then none in the afternoon. You still get the benefits without all the moaning.

Santa is bringing a present she asked for when she went to see him! I wavered on doing stockings, but when I thought about what I'd put in it just seemed like stuff she wouldn't be that into that would get subsumed into the general mass of junk that I'm actively trying to reduce. And I don't want to give her a load of sweets at this age. I don't ban her from chocolate and stuff altogether but I wouldn't want to give her to amount I remember getting as an older child.