DS14 says he can't wait to live abroad

[Blackberrysparkle]

AIBU? Yes I probably am.

My DS14 said today that he wanted to move away from the UK asap - ie as soon as he has finished university.

His reasons? The general state of the country, weather, tax, finances, politics. I told him that I would support any decision he made but inwardly I felt so sad that he was thinking of moving away - selfishly I would miss him so much! He is a very focussed type of person and is very certain that he wants to do this.

If he really wants to, I would obviously support him.

But i just wanted to find out - did anyone else have a teenager who thought this as a teenager but then as time went on decided to stay in the UK?

Dubai????????? 🙄Sure kid.

And he’s joined the Labour Party?

Seems his decision is about nothing nobler than having a good time / money. If he really cared about this country he would be planning to change it not run off to worse regimes.

Good for him.My nephew left UK at 20, he's doing ok. People emigrate all the time we aren't trees, we can move. I dont blame youngers for wanting out, its all about me me me elders here who dont give a shit as long as their grabby life is ok and they can feel smug about having more than their neighbour.

Ds was going to live in Antarctica with a bunch of huskies, and a helicopter when he was 13yo. he's 15yo and I think he's given up on that idea. He's probably got another one I don't want to know though.

Ahh I understand him. I was that teenager... Moved abroad at 21 and didn't come back. I'm now 33 and settled, without a view to return to the UK.

I was that kid and followed through, which is why I'm in the UK. My parents aren't thrilled, even a decade later, but are proud of me for sticking to my guns.

I studied abroad with an internship, married a foreigner (shocking) and made a life away from the US.

My parents didn't understand why I wouldn't move back until they got an NHS funded IVF made grandchild and understood if we came "home" we'd be uninsured/ have a gap in coverage. They get it now.

You have to let them live their lives even when it's hard.

I say that but my little boy has three citizenships and I know it's going to come back and bite me in the ass. 😭

Both my teen dd’s ( at university) have told me that they will move abroad after their studies

Encourage him to do a gap year and a uni course with a year abroad. Which countries is he interested in? The U.K. is probably at a low moment in history now.... but there aren't many countries that are without their faults AND easy to emigrate to.
Or encourage a medical/nursing career? These professions are usually welcomed by other countries with little retraining.

Also, it is so much easier to keep in touch than it used to be. When I lived in Italy in the 90s it was a weekly letter from home and a quick phone call every now and then- but only if there's been some kind of crisis.
These days you can phone/text/ message/ WhatsApp/facetime multiple times a day.

I hope he is learning the appropriate foreign language and not planning on schlepping up and shouting at people.

Someone must be putting these thoughts into his head. Young people hardly ever feel this way. I also blame the internet and social media. If your son spends time on Instagram/Facebook and sees young influencers having a good time in Dubai or Florida, a natural envy will arise.

What nonsense! Young people felt like that when I was 14 - nearly 50 years ago!

Not my kid, but me at the same age. My Mum got massively offended when I said the same in front of her friends when I was about 16. I did leave. Back in the UK now, but I lived in three different countries in between.

It’s a great experience that I’d recommend to anyone. It teaches you so much about yourself and made me incredibly resilient and much more confident.

It can keep them on the straight and narrow etc, needing a work visa and all that. Not that they'd get into crime but even not being around mates who disturb the peace/drunk and disorderly, driving stuff etc. My Cousin moved to France from Wales. He saw more of his Mum than he did when he lived in a different city in Wales, because he made time, rather than vague plans that got changed by work/social commitments. I know someone who has settled in Amsterdam. Likewise they see more of family than when they lived the other end of the country because flights are cheaper than train fares (from Liverpool) and they have a brilliant life over there. However my DD (25) wanted to do cruise ships (catering) but is moving up the NHS bands (in catering), got a mortgage and has changed her mind for a few years.

It's not like we've had a merchant navy for centuries, or circuses and young people ran off to join them. In the 79's, Australia was popular, in the 80's Saudi and Spain, then Sweden etc. Beauty and the Beast is about Belle wanting more than "this provincial life". How do you think immigration to the US/Australia etc started?

I was the same at his age and broke my mum's heart when I moved overseas in my early 20s for a few years. I came back to the UK. Nothing like travel to broaden the mind and had some great experiences.

One question I have for those on here who say their kids are leaving after uni - do you still pay back your university tuition fees if you go abroad?
who funds it as my son has to pay it back as he's now working and staying in the UK. I never went to uni so had no fees to pay back when I went abroad.

My teens are also actively looking to leave the country. They're gathering up the info they need for applying to European universities and hopefully finding placements there. All the sensible members of my family have already gone and are now close to achieving residency, as they've been in their new countries a number of years.

You can't expect young people to want to sit around waiting to be paid piss poor wages in zero-hours shitty jobs. They'll never own homes here (and if they do, they'll be shit ones) and schools/healthcare are abysmal, so why would they risk themselves and any children they might want? To have a decent life, they need to look elsewhere.

I am so glad my children will emigrate. I wanted to, but DH refused. He regrets it now. We're stuck here. But my kids will have a better life.

@OoooohBobMonkhouse

".......do you still pay back your university tuition fees if you go abroad?"
I can only speak for my daughter, who is now in the US, but yes, they very much kept tabs on her, and she is paying monthly.