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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to ask for shoes off!

233 replies

RudolphRed · 23/12/2022 18:06

I don't want to be 'that person' but we are having a little Christmas Eve get together at our house tomorrow. We've just put every penny we have into a house renovation, so I would really prefer if guests remove their shoes. I always do when I visit people, but is there a diplomatic way to ask if they don't? I'm not usually super fussy, but we've spent so much getting our home nice, I could really do without a lot of dirty shoes traipsing through and it's given heavy rain all morning to make matters worse!
If you're just going to make a snide remark, please don't bother replying to my post - helpful answers only please. Thankyou 🥰

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 23/12/2022 21:49

I would also find it a bit odd to be going round a party in a pair of slippers. It just doesn’t seem very ‘party.’

MilkyYay · 23/12/2022 21:50

Shoes finish an outfit. Lots of my clothes would look dreadful with bare feet or, horrors, a slipper or or a borrowed sock

Newsflash... maybe other people care more about their home than how you look.

Dmil is like this. She never, ever, ever removes her shoes. Or will bring a separate pair and insist they are clean enough to be worn indoors. Not for parties, just for having a cup of tea! She is very wealthy and always has been, and oblivious that hard soles of outdoor shoes wear carpets much more than socks or soft slippers do.

ThreeblackCats · 23/12/2022 21:53

I have a basket by my front door, it is full of shoes and boots etc. . 99+% of my Airbnb guests take the hint. The rest test poor reviews.

MilkyYay · 23/12/2022 21:54

I can’t imagine wearing a glittering Xmas cocktail dress and stockinged feet . Do people really go to parties and take their shoes off ?

Of course. When you are used to no shoes in doors people look bloody odd and a bit hyacinth bucket standing in the living room of a british 80s semi in high heels.

Literally the only person i know who wears shoes indoors is MiL.

grumpycow1 · 23/12/2022 21:56

‘We’re a shoes off house, would you mind leaving them here please?’ Maybe have some spare socks/slippers in case anyone is barefoot?!

Remaker · 23/12/2022 21:59

Just stick a note on the front door:

‘My floor is more important to me than you are’.

What kind of floor OP? If any of your guests are older people please be aware of slip hazards in socks/stockinged feet.

Konfetka · 23/12/2022 21:59

You need to keep a box of overshoe covers by the door and present each guest with a pair on arrival. Heavy duty ones would be a good idea in case of stilettos.

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 22:00

This thread is killing me 🤣🤣🤣

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 22:04

The no shoe crew… would you insist elderly people also did this in case they walked their potentially piss-covered shoes in?

As if the mobility for some isn’t already limited.

But nobody has answered the questions here re spillages and stains on upholstery, both of which are more likely (unless you make them all stand shoeless in your kitchen with a bib and a sippy cup) … how do you prevent those?

Hotcuppatea · 23/12/2022 22:09

This is reminding me of an old couple I knew with am immaculate 80s sofa always covered with a heavy duty plastic slip to keep it clean. There it was, 40 years later, like new under the plastic sheet, but no one ever got to relax on it or enjoy it.

Accept the fact that your house will have wear and tear when you have friends and family over. Or alternatively, keep it pristine and accept that this comes at the cost of lots of your guests feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome.

UsingChangeofName · 23/12/2022 22:09

Good point @Quincythequince

Delatron · 23/12/2022 22:11

Just don’t have a party if you’re going to be a terrible host..

CousinKrispy · 23/12/2022 22:15

Please remember that some of us have medical conditions that mean we need to keep supportive shoes (not slippers) on at all times when we are on our feet. I have trainers I wear only indoors as I can't go round in slippers or socks without pain.

fedupofthiscoldffs · 23/12/2022 22:16

I have a shoes off house. I have wooden floors but I still expect people to remove shoes

SassyPants87 · 23/12/2022 22:20

I always offer to take shoes off and we have a no shoes house. No one has ever had an issue with it. I just don’t understand why people would want to wear shoes in the house and potentially ruin carpets/flooring. Even with a door mat shoes probably won’t be totally clean

But as previous posters have said do let them know in advance so they can bring socks/slippers

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/12/2022 22:25

We are shoes off as are most that we know.

Who are all these skanks walking through friends houses without even asking if they should remove their shoes?

Murdoch1949 · 23/12/2022 22:26

Would you ask the King to remove his shoes? Thought not. It's rude.

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/12/2022 22:28

Would you ask the King to remove his shoes? Thought not. It's rude

Damn right I would if he tried to walk towards my lounge in them.

Kanaloa · 23/12/2022 22:29

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/12/2022 22:25

We are shoes off as are most that we know.

Who are all these skanks walking through friends houses without even asking if they should remove their shoes?

Well… I guess we’re the people who eat our food off plates at a dinner party rather than licking the soup out of the grooves of the kitchen tiles.

Do you not regularly clean your floors? I do - I clean them often. Maybe if you did you wouldn’t think anyone who walks on a floor is ‘skanky.’ And for what it’s worth it isn’t really the social norm to stand around in bare feet at a party. It’s odd.

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 22:29

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/12/2022 22:25

We are shoes off as are most that we know.

Who are all these skanks walking through friends houses without even asking if they should remove their shoes?

LOL. Too much wine for you it seems, and note the dripping misogyny in your comments too…

But never mind the multiple explanations that have explained and made very clear the difference between dressing for a party in smart shoes and standard day to day wear. Why read those.

Who are these utter planks that can’t read.

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 22:30

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/12/2022 22:28

Would you ask the King to remove his shoes? Thought not. It's rude

Damn right I would if he tried to walk towards my lounge in them.

🤣

Keep at it.

Bailey’s next for you I imagine… it’s about that time

Delatron · 23/12/2022 22:31

CheesenCrackersmm · 23/12/2022 22:25

We are shoes off as are most that we know.

Who are all these skanks walking through friends houses without even asking if they should remove their shoes?

It’s a very working class/lower middle class thing to ask for shoes to be removed.

Do you think you’d arrive at a stately home and be asked to remove your shoes? No.

Sadly, many on here have zero manners (or class).

Delatron · 23/12/2022 22:32

And the cleaners clean the floor…

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 22:32

So much in the way of gauche behaviour on here it seems!

Why have a party, just why??

Kanaloa · 23/12/2022 22:34

Delatron · 23/12/2022 22:31

It’s a very working class/lower middle class thing to ask for shoes to be removed.

Do you think you’d arrive at a stately home and be asked to remove your shoes? No.

Sadly, many on here have zero manners (or class).

Erm… what is this supposed to imply? It comes across a bit like you’re sneering at anyone working class as if they’re somehow less than.

For what it’s worth, we’re very working class and never ask anyone to remove shoes. We just wash our floors.