How to ask for shoes off!

[RudolphRed]

I don't want to be 'that person' but we are having a little Christmas Eve get together at our house tomorrow. We've just put every penny we have into a house renovation, so I would really prefer if guests remove their shoes. I always do when I visit people, but is there a diplomatic way to ask if they don't? I'm not usually super fussy, but we've spent so much getting our home nice, I could really do without a lot of dirty shoes traipsing through and it's given heavy rain all morning to make matters worse!
If you're just going to make a snide remark, please don't bother replying to my post - helpful answers only please. Thankyou 🥰

So I imagine that people around your parts don’t put expensive carpets down but choose a much more practical flooring.

Quincy I like the idea of the sippy cup and bib...

My mil did actually do this to DF once as he struggled into her house. He already felt humiliated and embarrassed by his condition and she couldn't hold back.

A few moments later her hand shot out to grab DD who was kneeling on her precious sofa.
She wonders why we refuse to go there anymore.

@abbey44

I can't either. Don't have guests if it's that critical to you to have a pristine floor.

We also live in the country . Most people would bring party shoes with them if they walk across country. They still wouldn’t wear slippers with smart clothes.

We do have expensive carpets actually but I have a carpet cleaner and accept that if I am going to ask people to a party I have to accept that along with the washing up I will need to hoover and maybe shampoo the carpet. If I had something on the floor that was really precious to me then I suppose I just wouldn’t hold parties. .

I’m so sorry to hear that.
The height of rudeness and ill manners… making your guests feel uncomfortable.

And no, it not the same as not taking off your shoes by default - can’t believe some are making that comparison tbh.

I suspect the shoes of a tradie are different to those of a person in their finest arriving at a Xmas party.

Some people seriously have no idea what good hosting is. It's so very non-U to be precious about your floors.

We bought a house recently and it's a proper party house. Stilettos, red wine spills, sand everywhere after beach visits, dripping chlorine footed people after a dip in the pool/spa, many many dogs and jammy faced urchins and the hardwood floor remains mainly pristine aside a couple of characterful scratches that could be buffed out if I had the inclination (but I quite like them)

Wine on the couch or carpeted areas is dealt with by a 5 minute going over with the Bissell cleaner. Easy.

Muddy wellies excepted I could never be the person at the door demanding shoes off. Terribly rude and precious.

I don’t wear shoes if I’m just hanging round the house but no way would I host a party shoeless or expect guests to take off their shoes.

30 years ago a local family had a drinks party and explicitly requested “no heels” on account of the newly refurbished parquet.

People still talk about the rudeness of those hosts.

the removal of shoes smacks of caring more about a bloody carpet than the comfort of your friends and family.

In all my younger years I was aware of one house where shoes had to be off that's because the lady of the house was "Austrian". Rich or poor it was shoes on .

Only in past 20 year's has shoes off become a thing.

Like a badge of honour.

However I do get it ,it's nice to think you don't have outside dirt inside and that it's a cosy space etc.

However in all the shoes off years I've had one person, drag mud through my house and df mud into Mils.

But...what I don't appreciate is nearly every single time I've been ina more ridged shoes off House ny host has done something that I would consider to be unhygienic.

@Quincythequince I didn't say that soft play was cleaner than shoes 🤷🏻‍♀️ I still don't want shoes in my house though.

You implied your little one crawling around on the floor would be in acceptable because of dirt from shoes if they were worn inside. I have said that many other things your child is exposed to is dirtier and germier.

You don’t disagree with that, but still at you don’t want shoes indoors.

Fair enough, it don’t pretend it’s about keeping your child germ free - it’s not.

If I went to someone's house snd they were barefoot/socks/slippers it would not occur to me they expected guests to remove their shoes. Only my in laws have this rule - I've never taken my shoes off or been asked to at any other house. And frankly think it's odd at a party.
But do as pp suggest, just ask when you greet them at the door.

We have wooden floors downstairs and dogs. We are a shoes off house but I never ask guests to take theirs off, most see me in bare feet and the shoe rack next to the door and do so automatically. I’ve got a couple of friends who don’t and I just pop the cordless hoover round when they leave. I don’t think it’s right to ask my guests to take their shoes off when I’ve got dogs in the house. I always take mine off in other peoples homes though. I’d just answer the door bare footed and have a basket or pile of shoes so it’s obvious. I would hate to be given guest slippers though, I’d rather be bare foot!

"Do you mind taking your shoes off please" is something I say a LOT with no hesitation at all. I don't wait for a response or awkward reaction, just look at their feet until the shoes are off. Works.

Might work but it’s outstandingly rude…

You can’t seriously expect people to take their shoes off if you have dogs and wooden floors. Their socks will be covered in dog hair..

People see our shoe pile and automatically ask if they should remove theirs. We always offer fluffy warm socks (which people love and ask to take home with them)

I’m going to a party in two hours! Wearing jeans, Chelsea boots (big bovver boots did those not familiar) and a sparkly top.

The boots are clean, brand new in fact, clean clean and will be walked into their house from their drive only.

I’ll let you know get on with that shall I (hint; they like to entertain, have a dog and are generally not precious at all as well as being frightfully upper class, so I reckon I’ll be ok).

I'd prefer a pre warning so I could being slippers.

Just message them all and ask them to bring their slippers as you are newly renovated

@Quincythequince I'm not trying to keep my son 100% germ free. I'm trying to stop people tracking dog poo, cat wee etc into my house. The fact that my son also sometimes crawls on the floor is just one reason I don't want to allow this. There are loads of other reasons. I'm not pretending that is the sole or even primary reason. That just happened to be one I chose to write down.

And... I'm out. 😂 Have a lovely Christmas ☺️

You too bird. Have a great time with your DS.

Happy Christmas

🎄 🎁

Shame for those who have put their poshest shoes on for your "do."

I never take mine off as I am disabled and it is a right blooming palaver getting them off and back on again. My friends know this. I work hard wiping them on the door mat before I go in.

Well thats why advance warning is ok, I struggle to get shoes on and off, bit of a faff, specially my posh shoes. So I would want to know that Im going to have to take shoes off. Would prevent me buying a new pair with a new outfit too if I was jus going to take them off when I got there

@Delatron - but I have no dogs, we never wear shoes indoors and even workmen are given shoe covers. Why should guests be allowed to soil my house with their outdoor shoes? I'm only asking politely, what's rude about it?

It’s very inhospitable to throw a dressy drinks party and expect people to remove shoes Why did you buy the carpets if no one can ever walk on them in best clean shoes? Couldn’t you just hoover afterwards as a one off?