How to ask for shoes off!

[RudolphRed]

I don't want to be 'that person' but we are having a little Christmas Eve get together at our house tomorrow. We've just put every penny we have into a house renovation, so I would really prefer if guests remove their shoes. I always do when I visit people, but is there a diplomatic way to ask if they don't? I'm not usually super fussy, but we've spent so much getting our home nice, I could really do without a lot of dirty shoes traipsing through and it's given heavy rain all morning to make matters worse!
If you're just going to make a snide remark, please don't bother replying to my post - helpful answers only please. Thankyou 🥰

If you want to host parties at your house then it’s best to choose a hardwearing floor that can easily be cleaned rather than expect everyone to take their shoes off and worry about them spilling drinks etc.

Personally I wear slippers around my own home for comfort, but I don’t ask guests to remove theirs. And not many people I know seem to expect visitors to take theirs shoes off either. I would prefer to keep them on for a house party, and take them off for a cosy chat on the sofa, but generally read the room and take them off if the host asks or I get the sense they would prefer it.

In your case I would tell them in advance - send a group text with some info about the party and mention it at the end. ‘Also just a little note to ask that as we have just changed the floor, please would you mind taking off your shoes when you get here? Thanks all, look forward to seeing you’

No - it’s just many seem to place their floor above guests comfort. And don’t understand that’s really rude.

My reply was in response to the ‘skanky’ comment.

Everyone I know has a shoes off household. We don't have to ask anyone (other than tradespeople*) to remove their shoes, they just do it automatically.

*Tradespeople who can't for whatever reason always have shoe covers or dust sheets so it must be a popular request.

Oh I see! I was tripped up by the post saying it was a very working/lower class thing to do, followed by ‘some people have no manners or class.’ I thought you were conflating the two things. It came across like you meant that being seen as working class is somehow linked to being rude/not having manners.

I agree it’s rude and a bit odd. Surely if you don’t want people to step on the part of the home made for stepping on you’d simply not host a party? Wonder how people will have a drink, surely a spillage of red wine would be a disaster.

All the trades people ive had into my home over the last few months have removed their shoes on the outside doormat without being asked.
Only 1 hasnt as he was lifting heavy items but immediately put shoe covers on!

Tradespeople will have dirty shoes.
People showing up for a party will be not be wearing the same kind or cleanliness of shoes that tradespeople are.
What is hard to understand about that?

Have spare socks to give out. I hate socks so am usually foot naked.

"we are shoes off in the house. Would you like some slippers?".

Sorry I do think it came across like that.

I’m from a working class family so didn’t mean it offensively. I was challenging the implication that it was ‘skanky’ to wear shoes indoors. When my point was it’s just good hosting to let your guests work out what they want to do.

Then used the example of Stately Homes as wearing shoes indoors is the opposite of skanky as it’s what the very rich (like the King) do.

No I know 😂 Once I reread it I understood what you meant. Very odd to think people are somehow skanky for not wanting to walk round a dinner party in their bare feet…

Ha exactly!

www.amazon.co.uk/standard-disposable-overshoes-protectors-Caresupermarket/dp/B013TDUVYY/ref=asc_df_B013TDUVYY/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=344405143865&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10678657917437726713&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045930&hvtargid=pla-719821779753&psc=1

Get some of these shoe covers.

Or tell people to bring indoor shoes/slippers with them.

Provide a doormat for guests to wipe their feet on.

They will then have clean shoes and you won't have to offend them by asking them to take them off.

It's rude and obsessive to insist on removing shoes.

I just ask people to leave their shoes in the hallway.

Never had a problem

No it’s not. It’s incredibly rude to wear shoes in someone else’s house.

It’s a very working class/lower middle class thing to ask for shoes to be removed

Haha how has your little mind reached that conclusion.

Please share the results of your comprehensive survey.

😂

Have you honestly ever been to a party where everyone walks around in bare feet? Is it normal to be sitting a dinner party barefoot to you?

Either way, I wouldn’t say it’s ‘incredibly rude.’ Just different preferences. Let people know in advance it’s a barefoot party and then they can choose to go or not to go. That way everyone is comfortable.

Do you think you’d arrive at a stately home and be asked to remove your shoes? No.

Why is a stately home of any relevance? Stately homess are not lived in where the public are traipsing around. You go wondering off piste into the private family rooms in your outdoor shoes and let us know how that ends for you.

A good guest asks ‘would you like me to remove my shoes?’

A good host replies ‘On or off, whichever you’re most comfortable with - do come in, let me get you a drink’.

Some might think it’s incredibly presumptuous to take them off.

Of course those who may think that, would also avail themselves of door mats - an outside one in front of the main entrance door for removing leaves grit etc and an inside one for finer cleaning and drying.

Should have added, I wouldn’t dream of asking someone to remove their shoes. The only addendum to this would be if they were visibly covered in mud / were recently used walking boots or wellies.

As a guest I'd want to know beforehand as I'd plan my outfit around it.

I wouldn’t dream of asking guests to take their shoes off and I’d be really pissed off to be asked to do it at anyone else’s house. Its rude.

Don’t invite anyone to your house if you’re that precious about your damn carpets

Indeed they are!

And to digress, Yet still nobody answers the food/drink spillage question… yourself included.

This basically.

So all those (rude) hosts - you get your shoes off as the polite guests have offered.

Those well mannered hosts don’t mind and place their guests comfort first. But it really does depend on the circles you mix in…