How to ask for shoes off!

[RudolphRed]

I don't want to be 'that person' but we are having a little Christmas Eve get together at our house tomorrow. We've just put every penny we have into a house renovation, so I would really prefer if guests remove their shoes. I always do when I visit people, but is there a diplomatic way to ask if they don't? I'm not usually super fussy, but we've spent so much getting our home nice, I could really do without a lot of dirty shoes traipsing through and it's given heavy rain all morning to make matters worse!
If you're just going to make a snide remark, please don't bother replying to my post - helpful answers only please. Thankyou 🥰

In many cultures it is expected that people take their shoes off. No one has died of it yet.

OP, put a shoe rack by the door, answer the door with bare feet. Most people will get the memo, if not just say 'you can put your shoes here' as they arrive.

Some people on this thread clearly don't have a lot of diversity in their social circles if the idea of shoes off is rude and surprising to them.

Warn people in advance. Hope evening goes well.

We've always insisted DS takes his shoes off, and we do too, don't need to ask visitors anymore, DS does it! "Grandpa we're not allowed to wear shoes in the house, do you want me to put them away for you?..."

I would want to know in advance if it was me - for outfit planning. I wouldn’t be getting all dressed up for a ‘shoes off’ party.

Health professionals shouldn't take my shoes off for their own safety.
I have a 'no shoes' house and hated it when the paramedics came all the way into the bedroom when my husband was unwell but I wouldn't have asked them to remove shoes.

I always offer but my friends tell me to keep them on. As I do them. As we are all good hosts. But then nobody has white carpets. We all have wooden floors. That we’re not too precious about.

It definitely depends on the circles you mix in.

The upper middle classes would deem it to be rude to demand shoes off..

That’s how it is in our culture. In other countries it’s different.

I would suggest not hosting a party if you are more bothered about your floor than your guests comfort.

God how rude. Poor Grandpa. Much harder for elderly people to take shoes off with mobility issues.

Me too. But I don't fancy having my toes run over by a mobile hoist so I keep mine on.
We are advised to keep shoes on for our own safety when home visiting (risk of violence, pets, equipment, dangers in people's homes etc)
Plus a colleague got bitten by a tortoise after removing her shoes...

Advance warning is polite, I am not wearing my party Jimmy choos to sit on a rack.No issue but would expect notice.

I am a shoes-off person, always... but a party is the one exception.

Most of the time, if people pop round, they'll be wearing regular shoes that may well be dirty. Which should come off.

But at a party shoes are likely to be clean; people will have planned outfits; and guests won't be best chuffed if they're in outfits that you then try and force them to wear slippers or socks with. I think it would be rude to ask them to remove shoes, OP, but you can put slippers by the door and hope they do it of their own volition?

Day to day we are shoeless indoors, with all kids visitors and mine taking their's off . But if it was a party, people wouldn't as we have tiles and rugs rather than fitted carpets downstairs. I would personally never wear outdoor shoes on a carpet.

that’s fine but that’s not a party is it ? Also please be aware as your parents get older that balance gets more difficult and a lot if falls happen because old people are not wearing supportive footwear . You rarely see people in care homes without shoes albeit indoor ones .

the Japanese and Asian people that we know hold drinks and dinner parties and don’t seem to expect shoes off , although I have always gone prepared. They do take shoes off if we go over casually with dc etc . Maybe it’s because it’s often official or business entertaining

How tall are your guests? I would feel a bit mean asking a very short guest to take off their shoes if they are not expecting it. Ok for a sit-down dinner party, but not if you are expecting them to stand up the whole time. Why can't they bring slippers/clean trainers/indoor shoes?

I'd be quite irritated if I'd been invited to a 'get together', so had dressed up...and then had to remove shoes. So tell your guests first so they can dress accordingly. I'd be so embarrassed if I had to wear socks with a short sparkly dress else my nasty toenails would be on show.

This thread has been a bit of an eye-opener - I had no idea there were so many shoe-free houses! I can’t remember going to any houses where this was the rule (other than in Japan), and I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to remove their shoes in mine. But I’ve always had dogs and children so I’ve never been too precious about floors - I take the view that’s why I have a mop and a vacuum cleaner. And the sight of other people’s feet (even with socks on) is one I’d rather not have inflicted on me, to be honest.

This. Shoes finish an outfit. Lots of my clothes would look dreadful with bare feet or, horrors, a slipper or or a borrowed sock

I'd find it annoying.

Shoes off parties are perfectly normal in my group of friends.

I do always laugh at the Pearl clutching about "you expect me to stand there in my stockinged feet" yes Doris I do, do you expect to tread the street's dog piss and god knows what in my house? Not happening.

A simple text to everyone youve invited
Hi x, really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night. Just so you know its a shoes off household (divisive i know!) so please feel free to bring your own slippers 😊

Just send a group text “ fyi guests I just finished renovating so would appreciate if you left shoes at the door! Feel free to bring some slippers! See you then” job done!

Some people on this thread clearly don't have a lot of diversity in their social circles if the idea of shoes off is rude and surprising to them.

..........and equall,y those who are clutching their pearls at the idea of people actually wearing shoes on flooring must have a pretty small social circle.

@Delatron @cyclamenqueen my father is well into his seventies, cycles at least ten miles a day and ran a half marathon this year. He'd find you hilarious.
I forget you have to overtly mark any light hearted comments here.
FWIW I do agree that for a party I wouldn't expect to take shoes off, but I also wouldn't hold a party for a larger group on home carpets.

You really need to warn people OP .
I know people who have to wear (or have been advised to wear) shoes for medical reasons.

I also had a spell where I had something nasty growing on my foot (awaiting hospital investigation) - I really wouldn't want to have got my foot out in public at that time.

I'm generally a shoes off person, but find there something off about hosting a gathering where people would be dressed up nicely, probably with hosiery on or strappy party shoes and telling them to be in bare feet or tights to save your floor.

It's rude to ask people to remove their shoes. Get a doormat.

Most people I know would consider it rude to wear your outdoor shoes inside someone else's home.

OP just text in advance. "Hi, we have new carpets and don't want outdoor shoes worn inside. Please bring socks/slippers or you can borrow some from us. Thank you".

Was just about to say this. No health professional should be ‘slipping their shoes off’ at every house they go to. There were some homes I visited that would get your socks dirtier than walking outside.

Some people will not want to remove their shoes. Yes, it is the social norm in other cultures but that is a bit irrelevant. Speaking French is the norm in France but it would be weird to sit at a dinner party in Essex and start spouting French. In some countries not using toilet paper and washing instead is normal but it would be unsettling to many people to be invited to someone’s home and not be provided any toilet paper. If you desperately do not want anyone stepping on your floors then it isn’t a great idea to throw a party. If you do throw one, provide shoe covers rather than communal slippers.