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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst Wedding Reception Ever?

495 replies

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:46

I am still trying to get my head round this one.

It was a friend's wedding last week and they happy couple invited twelve people to their reception.

After the ceremony (which was lovely) we went back to the couple's house.

There was no wedding cake. No drinks. We made ourselves cups of tea and coffee.

Then the groom handed out menus for the local curry house. Once we'd all picked what we wanted, he asked us to transfer the cost of our orders to his bank account, before he phoned up and placed the order.

After we'd eaten and tidied up, the newlyweds asked us to leave because they were tired.......................no speeches, no fun, no dancing, no music and NO FOOD provided.

AIBU to think this was the worst wedding reception ever?

OP posts:
Applesonthelawn · 23/12/2022 16:06

We went for a curry for my own wedding, just 12 people, we paid, very upmarket Indian restaurant though and private room, no presents, no speeches, literally nothing weddingy. I literally cannot bear to be the centre of attention and dislike weddings even when I'm not. Other people may think mine was sad but I honestly could not have coped with anything fancier. I think you really shouldn't complain, as long as they were happy.

Yarrawonga · 23/12/2022 16:08

But it was “their day”. They get to be as weird and inconsiderate as they want for 24 hours.

trailerandtractor · 23/12/2022 16:08

Sounds bloody brilliant and imo clearly a couple who got married for the marriage, not a fancy day.

Maireas · 23/12/2022 16:09

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/12/2022 16:04

No, but there’s a middle ground between a massive do with an open bar, and expecting your invited guests to pay for their own takeaway at your wedding meal. That’s just tight-fisted and plain rude. If you’re inviting people to your wedding and expecting them to make an effort then you can stump up £200 for their dinner.

Show quote history

Yes, I know what you mean - they should really have paid.
However, maybe they're hard up?. Maybe just mean!

ortonym · 23/12/2022 16:10

Something just occurred to me - were the B&G's parents there?

ChristmasTunesAlready · 23/12/2022 16:10

The only thing I'd question is you having to pay for the Indian. Definitely not the worst one I've heard of. Sounds quite lovely actually.

I was at a wedding a few years ago where the bride and groom disappeared to have a shower and a bath at one point. The reception then had the bride's father and his 'band' play songs that were really terrible and, when they made a mistake, they stopped and restarted the song. They weren't even decent wedding reception songs or anything. It only got better when the DJ came on and played music that got everyone on the dancefloor.

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/12/2022 16:11

trailerandtractor · 23/12/2022 16:08

Sounds bloody brilliant and imo clearly a couple who got married for the marriage, not a fancy day.

I can’t see anything “bloody brilliant” about having very distant relatives you’ve met once at your wedding reception because nobody else wanted to come. That just sounds rather sad.

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:12

ortonym · 23/12/2022 16:10

Something just occurred to me - were the B&G's parents there?

His dad apparently refused to come (I do not know why but the groom mentioned it) and his mum is dead.

The bride's parents did not come, which was not explained. Maybe they were also dead - or did not want to come? Who knows?

OP posts:
Aftersevens · 23/12/2022 16:12

It’s so rude to invite people and then ask them to pay….unless it’s explained upfront that that is what is expected. Even just for a normal dinner let alone a wedding ‘reception’

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:13

Yarrawonga · 23/12/2022 16:08

But it was “their day”. They get to be as weird and inconsiderate as they want for 24 hours.

That is undeniable but it cost us £50 for a present and I bought a new outfit.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 23/12/2022 16:14

What were you expecting to happen? Had they told you this was the plan?

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:15

I even had a fascinator made to match my suit! That cost quite a bit but as I said earlier in the thread, I can wear it all again at another of DH's strange relations' weddings

OP posts:
Maireas · 23/12/2022 16:16

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:13

That is undeniable but it cost us £50 for a present and I bought a new outfit.

Show quote history

Was it all about cost then, rather than hosting?

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:16

Well I sure as heck wouldn’t want to spend a penny on a “friend” that starts a thread all about the “worst wedding ever”

I reckon you left OP, everyone else left, hid around the corner, then came back for a proper good knees up

Yoyooo · 23/12/2022 16:16

Who were the other guests?

Sousa · 23/12/2022 16:16

I mean...they even asked for a specific gift 'a voucher'.
If i was that tight but really wanted to spend the day with them. I would
A) make it clear each person pays their own stuff
B) make it clear that i wouldn't be expecting gifts

Everything just sounds odd ( if as described)

Original poster
TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 16:17

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:16

Well I sure as heck wouldn’t want to spend a penny on a “friend” that starts a thread all about the “worst wedding ever”

I reckon you left OP, everyone else left, hid around the corner, then came back for a proper good knees up

Yeah, maybe.

OP posts:
lynthesearesexpeople · 23/12/2022 16:17

Mine was a bit like that.

Reg office then we’d booked the back room of a shit pub. We fed everyone 3 courses, couldn’t afford to buy alcohol for anyone.

but then there was nothing. No music aside from what was on I pods, no dancing, just bright lighting.

It was terrible.

I did warn dh that our only £600 was going to go nowhere on a reception, it only starched room hire and lunch and said we should just take our parents for a nice meal after instead, but he wanted all his friends there.

Most of them fucked off into the city at 6pm to do something better, I can’t blame them. I’ve no doubt we are still complained about to this day.

I didn’t invite anyone aside from my dad - I knew it would just be an embarrassing mess.

Nocutenamesleft · 23/12/2022 16:17

Ha. I had 12 people to my wedding.

I did think after the ceremony going to the beach for fish and chips. Thought I would have paid for everyone’s food!

we ended up having a lovely sit down meal. Well we only had 12 people!

I do think the paying for the curry is a bit strange though….

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:18

TheShellBeach · 23/12/2022 14:49

They abhor social media.

Show quote history

So you leverage things and start a discussion on a website that is often picked up by the DM

Lovely OP, just lovely

Maireas · 23/12/2022 16:18

Maybe invoice them for your fascinator.

EhLov · 23/12/2022 16:18

I think the size and setup of the reception sounds really, really nice.

However, what is SUPER ODD, is the distance of relation from the couple. Of 12 people, I'd expect really close friends you adore, not distant relatives. I'd find that an uncomfortable atmos at a small reception.

And 100% strange, rude and weird to ask you all to pay for the food.

I do love that they asked you all to go now 😂😂

lynthesearesexpeople · 23/12/2022 16:18

*only stretched to

Aftersevens · 23/12/2022 16:18

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:16

Well I sure as heck wouldn’t want to spend a penny on a “friend” that starts a thread all about the “worst wedding ever”

I reckon you left OP, everyone else left, hid around the corner, then came back for a proper good knees up

Holy moly, the vipers are out in force on mn today. Is everyone bored? What is with everyone??

DarkKarmaIlama · 23/12/2022 16:19

@EhLov

I know off you fuck after your Indian 😂 toodles 👋