Anyone just done with life at middle age

[HadEnoughNow1]

Anyone else feel in their forties feel they’ve just had enough of life? I feel it’s all such an effort for such a mediocre life. Constant drudgery and daily grind for the occasional joy such as holidays. If I was told tomorrow I only have 6 months to live I think I’d feel relieved.

It's like reading what I am thinking. I go to bed each night hoping I don't wake up. I'm so exhausted. I'm 38. Is that normal??

Catching up on the thread and this made me chuckle. Thanks @TheClitterati

I’m 51. I feel like this all winter but the come alive again as soon as spring hits. I live for 6 months of the year and exist for the other 6 months.

I'm 48 and single after my relationship broke up in 2021. No children. I'm feeling really flat at the moment, no motivation, feel no excitement, I don't know how I'm going to plaster a smile on my face over Christmas. We'd broken up before last Christmas and I even felt much happier then, so this is my second and feeling ten times worse. I don't know whether it's a combination of my age and delayed effect of breakup or what. I actually cried yesterday, but am not really sure why.

As others said, it kind of helps to read others are feeling like this.

I'm the opposite @Legallypinkish. I exist in the summer in live in the autumn and winter. Well I say live...

I'm already on HRT and I don't think it's made a shred of difference. I thought it would at least sort my very thin hair out but nothing. Never mind the extreme tiredness, everything hurting, painful sex. It's just all shit.

HRT has helped me with my periods. I got really suicidal and this helped then, but the hopelessness creeps in. I think it is just because the UK is in such a state. Everything we are proud of and rely on like the NHS is falling apart, there is no time for hobbies due to both parents needing to work lots of hours to get by, and many of us still won't afford a home when house prices crash (and some will struggle to stay in homes they do own). I think people have given up as they can't progress anymore. Everything is either deteriorating or stagnant.

My friend moved over from HK was surprised that we just keep accepting the shit thrown at us if a politician manages to talk it up. I'm glad the tide is turning now, this country needs hope.

I’m in my 50s now but have felt like this for years. I think it could be because I have never really been fully “healthy” and I am just so exhausted. Since my 20s I’ve had IBS (which is currently horrendous) sciatica, restless leg syndrome and general leg pain has impacted my sleep for decades. I think I may also now have sleep apnea. I’m now going through peri but still getting periods, which are now so heavy and painful. I don’t think there’s ever been a morning where I’ve woken feeling “refreshed”. It’s taken it’s toll. HRT might help with some peri symptoms but it wouldn’t solve any of the other issues so I don’t really see the point. It’s hard to find joy when you’re battling exhaustion.

I do worry about the pain and illness advancing years may bring for me. I feel so worn out already. In an ideal world I’d prefer not to be working at this point but I can’t afford that. I’d prefer not to be living in the UK but am stuck here now. I’d like a partner, but a combination of my MH being damaged by past relationships, and a lack of viable options, makes that very unlikely. It’s all very well people saying “change your life” but if the changes aren’t possible then you can’t. For the life I’d like now, the seeds would have had to have been sown many years ago. It’s too late now.

I know I am marking time now. My adult DC bring me a lot of joy and they keep me going. I have pets, that helps. I keep going because what else can I do.

I relate to a lot of what the OP said though not to the point of not wanting to be here. My SIL took her own life at 43 this year and whilst she had mental health issues there was a deep seated and probably correct belief that it was all downhill from here - she had a health condition that prevented her from doing the things she enjoyed.
I totally relate to everything being ‘meh’ and finding it difficult to find pleasure in anything. 3 kids, stuck in my job, ageing parents, marriage plodding along, everything in the U.K. turning to shit. I’m pretty sure peri is contributing but lacking the motivation to fight for a GP appointment to discuss HRT. A bit fat, a bit grey, a bit fed up!

This is me. I'd love to move to sunnier climes but family, job etc are all here. I feel like half of my life is just joylessly existing until the warmer weather and light nights return.

Thank you, OP, for voicing my thoughts
I feel tremendous guilt, because a very dear friend died a couple of months ago and would have exchanged anything for more time with their family
I try and hold close this sense of my own luck (in being alive), but as soon as I go out into the world again, and experience everyone's emotions - the exhaustion; the worry, and at work, everything being just as shit as it always is (even now that I've moved into a career that looks great on paper) - the sense of luck evaporates
@Coldfeets I found your post really helpful about the 'do something to make it 10% better'

Yep, we gave a caravan on the coast and I practically move down there. I love just getting up and walking on the beach every day. I just leave the rest of the family to their own devices now the kids are older 😬

Nice to feel not so alone. Feeling so flat but have to paste a smile on for my dd10. Dreading January and the school runs, she hates school so every day is a battle. A family member has a big birthday in feb and is spending a few weeks abroad in a hot country, some of my other family are joining him but I can't afford it and my dd would hate it! All I keep hearing about is this bloody holiday. Feel so low.

This thread is so sad and just shows how much priorities have been upside down in this Country and much of the Western World.

I'm glad you're happy, but in case you haven't noticed the Country has been screwed up for people who are younger than you.

Yes, I agree. It makes you think why do we work so much etc? Just to lead miserable life and have week off abroad. That’s it. 50 weeks of the year is just same shit all over again. No wonder OP and other posters feel like it.

@HotChoxs I'm glad you're happy, but in case you haven't noticed the Country has been screwed up for people who are younger than you.

What 'screw-ups' in particular are you referring to?

Well the answer to that is simple, older people borrowed off future generations lead better lives.
Every decision, high housing costs, exiting Europe, lockdowns has gone in their favour.
In our 40s we are caught in the middle of this and many are now beginning to reap the consequences. 15 years older and you'd have had a different set of life circumstances dictated by society.

Well lets see high housing costs, high mortgage costs, high rental costs, difficult rental market, salaries that haven't kept pace with inflation, high inflation due to lockdown easing, cost of living crisis, lack of freedom of movement across Europe, people striking all over. Just for a start.

@HotChoxs high mortgage costs

Are you having a laugh?

When I bought a house in 1977 the mortgage rate was about 8.87%.

In 1983 it had risen to 16.6%.

On the estate I lived on, half the kids had gone to live with parents and were renting out their properties, as they were on negative equity.

Now a 30 year fixed mortgage is about 6.54%

Glad it chimed with you. We are all in this together and it’s something I try and remember myself in hard times. Wishing you all the best x

Glad it chimed with you. We are all in this together and it’s something I try and remember myself in hard times. Wishing you all the best x

OP clearly has much more serious issues and needs to be able to get a GP appointment to discuss different AD's.

But I do sometimes feel this way. The drudgery of life gets you down. The monotony of washing, drying, buying another 3 evening meals at the supermarket. I have a good job, good Dh, great friends. I meet up with friends regularly for wine and curry, go on long weekends away to European city's. Life is good. Ds's older teens so easy. I'm certainly not depressed. But for many the drudgery gets to you, that's not uncommon.