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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let 12 yo ds take 6yo dd to the local shops

138 replies

Whatafustercluck · 23/12/2022 07:57

Last night 12yo ds asked if he could take his 6yo sister to the shops today - company for him because he wants to buy me and dh a little present for Christmas. He's a mature amd sensible boy. He's allowed out on his own, we've left him home alone for a couple of hours (max) occasionally and he regularly catches the bus home from school (a 20 min journey). The shops are a Tesco Extra precinct, about a 5 minute walk away. They have to cross one road on the way, which isn't massively busy, and there us a crossing they will use. He has a phone to contact us on. 6yo is also pretty mature and aware of dangers, not a risk taker. They can argue and get a bit silly together as siblings do, but generally when I've had to leave ds in charge for 5 mins while I'm on a work call for example he helps her out if she needs it, baths her to help out sometimes and is fiercely protective of her. I have no doubts about his maturity and ability. But I worry that if, for example, anything bad were to happen, he would blame himself. This is something he really wants to do, and is very sweet (he's confident, but having her there gives him more confidence, same for her) but genuinely don't know if iabu for considering it.

OP posts:
thelobsterquadrille · 23/12/2022 18:04

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 17:57

What are you? The thread police? OPs minder!

Relax…

Says the only person being rude and making barbed comments on a totally innocuous thread Wink

Quincythequince · 23/12/2022 18:05

thelobsterquadrille · 23/12/2022 18:04

Says the only person being rude and making barbed comments on a totally innocuous thread Wink

I haven’t been rude at all.

I said I found the level of detail weird. How is that rude?

Dello · 23/12/2022 18:06

I think the trip to the shop plan is thought through and sensible to allow

Emmamoo89 · 23/12/2022 18:08

I would not be comfortable with that

Oher · 23/12/2022 18:22

No, sorry. Because of cases like Cheryl Grimmer. The brother’s life was wrecked by the guilt of being responsible for his sister when she disappeared.

nokidshere · 23/12/2022 18:45

There are NO sensible 6yr olds.

Just because they Don't (usually do something erratic) doesn't mean they Won't (if they get distracted).

Children are unpredictable and it's unfair to put that level of responsibility onto a 12yr old.

ClydeFrog · 23/12/2022 19:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Notaboutthebass · 23/12/2022 19:37

I wouldn't let a 12 year old be responsible for a 6 year old, especially out and about.

FabFitFifties · 23/12/2022 19:45

I couldn't put my 12 yearold son in charge of a younger sibling. Though it wouldn't enter his head to go shopping for others either. I could, however, imagine trusting some of his female school friends. You know your son best - he sounds great.

Cw112 · 23/12/2022 19:54

I'd walk them to the shops and then wait outside so they can go in and shop together

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2022 20:26

JazbayGrapes · Today 09:30
yes, why not. 12yo would be old enough to babysit, and 6yo isn't a toddler.“

you would allow a 12 year old to babysit?

thelobsterquadrille · 23/12/2022 22:36

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/12/2022 20:26

JazbayGrapes · Today 09:30
yes, why not. 12yo would be old enough to babysit, and 6yo isn't a toddler.“

you would allow a 12 year old to babysit?

Why on earth not?

I was babysitting at that age and it wasn't all that long ago. Lots of children of that age are left in charge of younger siblings on a regular basis!

NosyNeighbour22 · 23/12/2022 22:59

My 12yo has taken my 5 yo to the shop along our quiet street, there is one very quiet road to cross. Although she is great with him in general and has watched him at home for a few mins while I’ve run out to get milk etc I wouldn’t let her take him anywhere near busy roads or shops as he can get easily distracted and wander off. It’s too much responsibility for her to cope with. I would agree with other saying that your should take them to the shop and wait outside, I’m sure they would both really enjoy going in to buy you something

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