To let 12 yo ds take 6yo dd to the local shops

[Whatafustercluck]

Last night 12yo ds asked if he could take his 6yo sister to the shops today - company for him because he wants to buy me and dh a little present for Christmas. He's a mature amd sensible boy. He's allowed out on his own, we've left him home alone for a couple of hours (max) occasionally and he regularly catches the bus home from school (a 20 min journey). The shops are a Tesco Extra precinct, about a 5 minute walk away. They have to cross one road on the way, which isn't massively busy, and there us a crossing they will use. He has a phone to contact us on. 6yo is also pretty mature and aware of dangers, not a risk taker. They can argue and get a bit silly together as siblings do, but generally when I've had to leave ds in charge for 5 mins while I'm on a work call for example he helps her out if she needs it, baths her to help out sometimes and is fiercely protective of her. I have no doubts about his maturity and ability. But I worry that if, for example, anything bad were to happen, he would blame himself. This is something he really wants to do, and is very sweet (he's confident, but having her there gives him more confidence, same for her) but genuinely don't know if iabu for considering it.

Nope. I go by whether I'd let the younger child do it alone, as I wouldn't leave the older child in charge.

I really don't think a scared 6yo is going to think about popping to the customer service desk - that's if they could even find it!

Oh come on! A six year old is more than capable of doing this.

It should be absolutely fine, if their dynamics are good, if 6 will walk nicely with 12, do as told, cross road nicely. If their relationship is good, it will be fine.

Ds2 was always very obedient and compliant to kind ds1, so I'd have no concerns them walking together, no naughtiness, or falling out or anything like that.

Surprised, so many posters were immediately inherently, saying no.

no

This is a very sensible approach

This is absolutely hilarious that OP is even asking. My DDs walked to and from school without an adult, from the age of 7 and 9.
They went to the village shop alone from age 4. And played out unsupervised for hours in the fields from age 7.
If you don’t think a 6 and 12 year old can even manage a 5 minute walk to a shop, it’s high time you removed the cotton wool!

They might be able to find the desk, but would they feel confident enough to push their way to the front (and it will be 10 deep today) and ask an unknown adult for help?

If they are both generally sensible then yes.

I wouldn't let my 15 year old with SN take a 6 year old to do that.

My 14 year old would be ok with this.

My 12 year old niece is responsible enough to take a six year old out.

It depends on their maturity level.

Mine are similar ages and I wouldn’t let them, but it’s mostly because of their personalities. My youngest takes a lot of supervising and the older one would get stressed managing her. I can see how it would depend on personalities though, my youngest’s BFF is much calmer and my oldest would be fine taking her! If you think they can do it, I’d let them.

I would have no problem with this.

When I was 5 I used to take a bus to school on my own. Walked to bus stop on my own, crossed a road with a crossing, and walked on to school from there.

No, 14 and 8 yes but definitely not 12 and 6.

Where does that stop though?

I mean would you really not leave a 16yo in charge of a 7yo?

I mean would you really not leave a 16yo in charge of a 7yo?

A 16 yo can be in sixth form.

A 12 yo is in year 7.

Very big difference

I'd say from 14 and up a walk to the shops with younger sibling is fine.

A 12yo could also be in Year 8 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was babysitting until midnight at that age!

Don't see why not taking your primary-aged sibling would result in mental health issues, regarding this specific instance

Agree in general re. controlling parents who don't allow children about though. Teens should be allowed out with friends etc from 11+

What year were people letting 4 year old go the shop or 5 year old get a bus alone ? Some of the posts are mental . Social services would definitely have a problem with a lot of it.
It is not wrapping them in cotton wool or anything like that. It's called not being a lazy parent .

When I was that age I was frequently left home 'in charge' of my two younger siblings by my parents. I'd have been allowed to take my 6yo brother out because he listened to me and we got along. My 7yo sister on the other hand had 'you're not my mum' as her favourite phrase and would be liable to do the opposite of what I said just because I said it or to run off and tell me I'd have to catch her first. Way too dangerous around roads etc.

These responses are absolutely crazy. Of course it's not ok, if anything happened social services would be all over it. 12 is yr7 and whatever 12yr olds were like 20, 30, 40 years ago they are treated like babies at high school now. Eg mostly supervised, 5 mins earlier lunch and leave school 5 mins earlier to avoid the crush. They are not responsible enough to look after a child out of the home. At home fine but not if the parent is out. Come on people!

In many European countries, 5yo walk themselves to school and back every single day.

I did this at 12 years old with a 6yo sibling. We got to the shops fine, bought my sibling some sweets. Walking home they choked on the sweets really bad. I remember standing there crying not knowing what to do. Someone rushed over luckily and gave back blows until the sweet flew out. Alls well that ends well but it did traumatise me!!

For goodness sake what is happening to the world.
I was babysitting a 1 year old at 13! I absolutely would have been walking to the shops with younger my brother (with a 6 year age gap) at 12.
There one road to cross with a crossing. Six year old is sensible and not a bolt into the road risk. So what precisely is the risk? Stranger abductions are incredibly rare. There will be plenty of people around to ask for help if they need it.

But why?. Just because they do does not make it the best option.
Maybe if the school was on the same road and the parents could see the school gate. But at 5 why would you not just take the kid to school yourself.

People need to stop with the ..when I was young posts .When I was young seat belts were considered not needed and cars were crammed with people . Would I do that now ? Nope ,because it's not the 70s 80s 90s and so on. Its Christmas not June. Everywhere is packed with angry fed up shoppers . Its not the same circumstances as babysitting in a house

I was picking up my seven year old brother from after school care at eleven and bringing him home to my parents. Couple of side roads and one busier of but still residential, road to cross. This seems comparable. And the twelve year old presumably has a mobile which I didnt?

It's a short trip, not all day childcare.