To let 12 yo ds take 6yo dd to the local shops

[Whatafustercluck]

Last night 12yo ds asked if he could take his 6yo sister to the shops today - company for him because he wants to buy me and dh a little present for Christmas. He's a mature amd sensible boy. He's allowed out on his own, we've left him home alone for a couple of hours (max) occasionally and he regularly catches the bus home from school (a 20 min journey). The shops are a Tesco Extra precinct, about a 5 minute walk away. They have to cross one road on the way, which isn't massively busy, and there us a crossing they will use. He has a phone to contact us on. 6yo is also pretty mature and aware of dangers, not a risk taker. They can argue and get a bit silly together as siblings do, but generally when I've had to leave ds in charge for 5 mins while I'm on a work call for example he helps her out if she needs it, baths her to help out sometimes and is fiercely protective of her. I have no doubts about his maturity and ability. But I worry that if, for example, anything bad were to happen, he would blame himself. This is something he really wants to do, and is very sweet (he's confident, but having her there gives him more confidence, same for her) but genuinely don't know if iabu for considering it.

I would allow it.

I would let them wander around the shop together but I would personally take them there and back myself.

It really depends on the children. It will be fine for some but not others.

depends how big the shop is
i would take them to the shop
very strict plans to stick together.
i am not entirely convinced though

No, the behaviour of a 6 year can be unpredictable and it’s not fair to put that responsibility on the 12 year old.

Has he taken her out before?
if so, and if they go soon (before 10am) I would say yes
if not, or they are going later I would walk them to the shop, do something there myself and walk back once they are done
shops are going to be extremely busy later today

If you know your children to be sensible then yes, I would let them go. It's 5 minutes walk so not exactly miles. Make sure your 12yo has a phone with them and put the tracking on if you really want to. But it sounds like a good first task for them to do together.

I would take them and let them shop alone, 6yr olds are easily distracted and should be supervised by an adult. I'm amazed how quickly people forget what can happen when children are unsupervised. The Babbs mill tragedy was less than 2weeks ago! I'm quite a laid back parent and I think it would be fine to leave them at home if you were going to the shop for ten minutes but not the other way around.

I'd allow this happily enough.
But I know my daughters, and the younger was always going to behave better for her sister in this situation, because she understood it was a treat and if she messed around, it wouldn't happen again.

Similar age gap between me an my younger sibling. It was a great treat for them to be taken shopping by me, and made me feel so good to be trusted by our parents. We were allowed to go to any shops within walking distance, as long as I told our parents which shopping area we were going to. I want allowed to take them by Tube or bus until we were about 9 and 15, so until then, if we wanted to go to a more distant shop, a parent would take us and collect us.

The way the OP describes their situation, I would allow it.

My dd has just turned 13 but she'd absolutely have done this. Dd2 is a bit older (9) so it's a bit different but through the summer she's taken her to the cinema which is a fairly busy 25 min walk. She also looks after my friends 4 year old rather wild dd and is trust her to do this with her.

Also this. Mine fight like cat and dog most of the time but take on an entirely different mind set when given this type of responsibility

No this is not sensible on a busy shopping day . It only takes 2 seconds for your 12 year old to look at something on one shelf and your 6 year old be unsupervised. Far to many weirdos in the world . Even the best behaved 6 year old can get distracted or intrested in something in a shop, and wander just a few steps . Is it worth the risk? Cant you just wait outside each shop that they want to go into?

No I wouldn't. I'd walk them there.

I really really wouldn't. I worked in a big supermarket years ago and I rennet two twelve year old girls coming to me in tears as they had lost their four year old cousin. We had to call the police. The dour year old was found wondering about a five min walk from the shop. Thank goodness a nice couple found him and brought him back to the supermarket as they figured that it was best place to start.

Police and social service where invoked after this. I know as the couple where regulars and they had to be Interviewed by the police.

Maturity and capacity wise, there's an enormous gap between for and six year olds, though.

I’d walk them there and hang around outside, the shops will be very busy. Maybe save the walk aswell for a quiet day.

No. I had a boss who said she used to use the daily Mail headline test when working out whether she was comfortable with decisions (admittedly work ones) so worst case scenario ‘6 year old hit and dies on crossing whilst in the care on 12 year old’. Am I comfortable with that parenting decision then? No, no I’m not.

I was going to say No but then I remembered that at the age of 13 I was allowed to take my 2 year old brother away for hours on end. This was a very long time ago though.

Times have changed so much. By the time I was 13, the neighbours were paying me llook after their children!

I'd say it was fine, but what do I know?

A 12 year old I would let go to the shops alone but I would not expect a 12 year old to be responsible for a 6 year old as that is not fair even if they themselves think it is fine. What if something happened to the 6 year old? What if the 6 year old wandered off while the 12 year old was looking at something? What if the 6 year old got upset about something? It's not worth the risk IMO.

I had to walk my brother to the childminder and then school every day from I was 11.

It totally depends on the children involved

For me it would depend on the children. Mine are 10 and 7 and could definitely do that safely.
I suppose it also depends on your area- we're in a fairly small town where you can't go out without bumping into 3 people you know on a 5 min walk!

This. I allowed my 12 year old nephew to take 6 year old dd, albeit with my ds along too (but he's younger so 12 year old in charge) in past. Ds is almost 12 now but none of us would allow him to take our other nephew who is now 6 because ds is mostly sensible but not always forward thinking and nephew is, not to put too fine a point on it, a little crazy! 😆

I think this is borderline. My older two are 10 and 8 years older than their younger sibling, and I do think there is a big difference between a 12yo + 6yo (which would have been the case with my middle and youngest and I don't think I'd have been comfortable with) and a 12yo + 4yo. I would say 12 + 6 is likely to be absolutely fine. But I think the first time they did it I'd want to be around somewhere nearby.