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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DP was rude tonight

116 replies

Candycane112 · 22/12/2022 21:44

DP came round. Sensed they were moody. Moaning about my cooking and their tea. Showed hardly any affection.
I went for a shower, came back and they were reading. Which is fine, I asked what we should watch. They said they didn't mind. Carried on reading their book. I asked if they were going to read it all night or were they actually going to talk to me tonight. She snapped and began raising her voice. Called me absolutely ridiculous over and over. Then called me controlling!
I said I'm definitely not but you've come to my place to spend time together and you've just read your book all night and said hardly anything to me. She knows my background and that my ex was extremely controlling of me so I find it so out of order that they would call me controlling. She's gone to bed now and not said a word to me.

Aibu to think they were so rude and out of order to me......

OP posts:
Blinki · 22/12/2022 21:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Candycane112 · 22/12/2022 22:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

We haven't seen much of each other recently

OP posts:
RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 22/12/2022 22:03

Yes coming round in a grump and moaning about your cooking is rude. Having a read would be fine but it sounds more like she was deliberately using it not to interact with you do yes that was rude too.

Sparkletastic · 22/12/2022 22:05

They are not the one for you OP.

olympicsrock · 22/12/2022 22:05

Wow - I think you were controlling actually. Does it matter if you sat together while she read and you watched TV?
Perhaps she wasn’t in the mood for TV.

Blinki · 22/12/2022 22:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

xogossipgirlxo · 22/12/2022 22:05

They and she. Hmmm.

FleeceDuvet · 22/12/2022 22:06

I didn’t know why people do the pronoun game on these boards so much now. It makes it unintelligible gibberish.

She was rude from the off. It doesn’t sound like a very nice relationship. Why was she moaning about your cooking?

That said, I had an ex who HATED me reading. Even if he put something on the tv that I had no interest in, and didn’t want conversation, I would be berated for reading. And that was a control thing.

Meadowgreen · 22/12/2022 22:08

Easier just to go straight to she rather than starting off with they/them.

Perhaps she was just in a bit of a bad mood and thought she’d snap out of it. Let it go. We all get grumpy sometimes.

Soapboxqueen · 22/12/2022 22:09

I think it depends. Maybe she had a rough day and needed time to decompress. If I've had a rough day it can take me hours to be sociable.

It was rude to complain about the food for no reason but I'd find it rude for someone to demand interaction when I was reading/not ready to talk. I'd be quite happy just sitting with dh. We don't need to be doing the same thing for us to be together.

RambamThankyouMam · 22/12/2022 22:09

They? Is this polyamory?

givethistokevin · 22/12/2022 22:10

asked if they were going to read it all night or were they actually going to talk to me tonight.

But you had just asked what she/ wanted to watch on TV, so hardly looking to have a meaningful chat?

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 22/12/2022 22:11

Sorry, I read it as Darling Parents when you said 'they.'

steff13 · 22/12/2022 22:13

She was rude. Does she always behave like that, or is this an aberration? If it's a one-off, I'd say she had a bad day. If it's a pattern, then you need to decide if you're going to put up with it going forward.

Iwantmyoldnameback · 22/12/2022 22:15

I thought it was about OPs mum.

QueenBeex · 22/12/2022 22:15

Yes, she sounds rude. In your OP you don't sound controlling.

Original poster
Candycane112 · 22/12/2022 22:16

steff13 · 22/12/2022 22:13

She was rude. Does she always behave like that, or is this an aberration? If it's a one-off, I'd say she had a bad day. If it's a pattern, then you need to decide if you're going to put up with it going forward.

It's definitely not an isolated one off. I was just shocked how she raised her voice and called me controlling whilst also telling me I'm ridiculous. All whilst I sat shocked and told her she wasn't being kind.

OP posts:
Original poster
Candycane112 · 22/12/2022 22:16

Didn't realise the pronoun thing was an issue. It's just how I speak. My DP is female and so am I

OP posts:
lailamaria · 22/12/2022 22:17

oh op the toxic mn crowd won't like the use of they to describe one person despite it being grammatically correct

FlowerArranger · 22/12/2022 22:19

lailamaria · 22/12/2022 22:17

oh op the toxic mn crowd won't like the use of they to describe one person despite it being grammatically correct

wtf

they = plural

why can't people say what/who they mean?

CovertImage · 22/12/2022 22:21

lailamaria · 22/12/2022 22:17

oh op the toxic mn crowd won't like the use of they to describe one person despite it being grammatically correct

Don't be pathetic. It's because the OP said "they" several times and "she" several times so it was weird to read

Original poster
Candycane112 · 22/12/2022 22:21

Can we not argue and make this about pronouns please?

I'd just like points of view about my OP

OP posts:
Soapboxqueen · 22/12/2022 22:22

Candycane112 · 22/12/2022 22:16

Didn't realise the pronoun thing was an issue. It's just how I speak. My DP is female and so am I

Because increasingly OPs use 'they' to obfuscate the sex of the people being written about. Mostly so that others (and probably themselves as socks) can then complain bitterly that mn wouldn't have said this if the 'roles were reversed'. It's sexism against men 🙄It gets tiresome.

That doesn't mean that some threads aren't genuine but I think they are in the minority.

xogossipgirlxo · 22/12/2022 22:26

lailamaria · 22/12/2022 22:17

oh op the toxic mn crowd won't like the use of they to describe one person despite it being grammatically correct

No, that’s not the issue. It’s just that mystery didn’t work, because later she said „she”.

Cosmos123 · 22/12/2022 22:26

I found it confusing to read too.

Yer she is not for you if she is upsetting you.

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