To think DP was rude tonight

[Candycane112]

DP came round. Sensed they were moody. Moaning about my cooking and their tea. Showed hardly any affection.
I went for a shower, came back and they were reading. Which is fine, I asked what we should watch. They said they didn't mind. Carried on reading their book. I asked if they were going to read it all night or were they actually going to talk to me tonight. She snapped and began raising her voice. Called me absolutely ridiculous over and over. Then called me controlling!
I said I'm definitely not but you've come to my place to spend time together and you've just read your book all night and said hardly anything to me. She knows my background and that my ex was extremely controlling of me so I find it so out of order that they would call me controlling. She's gone to bed now and not said a word to me.

Aibu to think they were so rude and out of order to me......

It sounds like she's mad at you.

You can deflect and accuse her of being rude I guess (objectively she was) but wouldn't you rather get to the bottom of why she felt like acting like that?

Does she have reason to be upset with you?

Is she unhappy and about to end the relationship?

Is she mean in general and you should think about ending the relationship?

If you care about the relationship I suggest you develop some curiosity around her behaviour instead of trying to label it as rude.

Yes, she was bloody rude. Who criticises food that someone else has cooked for them? I’d have asked her to leave once she started with the shouting.

They are in the wrong.

Sorry I'm confused by all the 'they's'. Have you got two partners? Perhaps identical twins? 😂

Just reads very odd.

I know this is a radical concept, but people in relationships are meant to like each other??

You don’t. So move on.

Oh ffs. Stop with the faux confusion over the use of they in the singular.

It is grammatically correct to use it for both singular and plural and has been for hundreds of years.

Don’t believe me? Fact check it.

if she just wanted to sit and read, she should have stayed at her own place.
if she didn't like what was on the menu she could have eaten at her own place, made a scrambled egg, or ordered pizza.
she's being an annoying brat.

“Sorry, I read it as Darling Parents when you said 'they.'”
Literally never have I heard darling parents on here, shortened or abbreviated.🙄

Your DP was rude about the dinner, then wanted to read and ignore you. She should have stayed at home. Clearly she was not in the mood for company. Where was the communication, all she had to say is “sorry, I’m in a mood tonight”.

Is she always like this? or is it a one off?

It sounds like she needed to be invited to take her book and her bad mood back home.

It makes it very difficult to understand. I thought you were talking about partner and kids etc.

Lol! I thought the OP was talking about Sam Smith for a minute! 'They' certainly would have been in the dog house!

😂

Not if you can read. 🙄

Does it offend you to use the word 'she'?

She did. Who cares. What difference does it make?

Of course. That's the problem. I can't read.

Well no, because that’s all some have brought to the discussion is the obsession with pronouns.

What difference does it make? Honestly? None. Doesn’t matter, one jot. Whether it be a man or woman, does it?

Oh ffs all this stupid faux confusion is annoying and childish.

OP sounds like your partner was in a bad mood and spoiling for a fight. She was rude and unkind. How to deal with it really depends on her subsequent behaviour and whether this was out of character. My thoughts would be: one off and sincere apology - forgive and move on; habitual behaviour or no acknowledgement that she was nasty - consider you options.

So she stormed off to bed in your house OP? If she had had that attitude in my house, I'd send her back to her home with no doubt that she shouldn't return until she could be at least pleasant.

Well you clearly can’t comprehend can you

I'm with you OP! I'm extremely irrational and moody at the moment due to a very traumatic event earlier this year, but I communicate to my DH about how I'm feeling, why I'm feeling this way and what I need in that moment. There's clearly something bothering your DP, could you ask her why she's feeling this way?

If my DP complained about my cooking that'd be the last time I cooked for them. That's really rude.

But clearly she wasn't in a great mood for whatever reason and she was reading her book and you decided to be a bit of an arse to her about it. You were trying to force her to give you her attention.

Watching the tv isn't her talking to you.

Yes they were rude.
Perhaps they had a bad day, having a bad week or just moody. If it's a one off, I'd probably let it go and hopefully she will apologise tomorrow. If not, perhaps you need to have a heart to heart chat. Does she often bring a book with her? Did she just want a night by herself.
I'm in a relationship were my DP expects my undivided attention. It is great most of the time but occasionally I would love some time by myself.

Yes, they were rude.

@KatherineJaneway So she stormed off to bed in your house OP? If she had had that attitude in my house, I'd send her back to her home with no doubt that she shouldn't return until she could be at least pleasant.

This ^ and I'd expect an apology.

She needs to grow up or take a hike. You want a partner not a sulky child.