To think DP was rude tonight

[Candycane112]

DP came round. Sensed they were moody. Moaning about my cooking and their tea. Showed hardly any affection.
I went for a shower, came back and they were reading. Which is fine, I asked what we should watch. They said they didn't mind. Carried on reading their book. I asked if they were going to read it all night or were they actually going to talk to me tonight. She snapped and began raising her voice. Called me absolutely ridiculous over and over. Then called me controlling!
I said I'm definitely not but you've come to my place to spend time together and you've just read your book all night and said hardly anything to me. She knows my background and that my ex was extremely controlling of me so I find it so out of order that they would call me controlling. She's gone to bed now and not said a word to me.

Aibu to think they were so rude and out of order to me......

OP maybe she's just tired, strung out and just needs a bit of quiet time. Maybe she felt she needed to come round or you'd be upset but she really wanted to just stay at home and read her book?

This!

please tell me that there’s no children involved in this “relationship”

But yes she was rude and no excuse for being disrespectful about your cooking. Next time don't.

She's gone to bed now and not said a word to me.

it is your house. This is ridiculous. Unbelievably rude to give you the silent treatment in your own home. She should have gone home. You should have to go home as you will not tolerate that behaviour.

The pronoun thing is because if you were a man saying about a problem with female partner the answers would different to female having a problem with male partner.

Rubbish!

Op

You have very young children

why on earth would you want to introduce someone like this in to the lives and family home of your children?

Rude behaviour is rude behaviour. It doesn’t matter if it’s from a man or a woman. It’s rude to go to someone else’s house, criticise their cooking, sit reading a book ignoring your host and then getting angry at them for holding you accountable, storming off to their bed and giving them the silent treatment in their own home.

How dare they make a person uncomfortable in their own home. Unbelievably rude.

No one with good manners would ever behave like that. And that goes for both sexes.

This.
How long have you been together?
It sounds odd using the word 'rude' to describe one partner to another- to me that's a word for people who aren't close, when it is just the surface behaviour that matters.

How long have you been together?

Her bringing a book, you going for a shower suggests that you're "comfortable" together.

She was rude about the food.

I do agree with others that if you want to talk then you talk, not ask what to watch on tv.

The biggest thing though-she shouted at you.

If that's not acceptable-stop seeing her.

She was rude, shouted has gone to bed in your house?

That seems to me as if she has metaphorically shit all over you.

Dear parents!.I'm so confused

Your partner was very rude! I notice this was posted last night so presumably you have spoke to her by now? If not, then you should as nobody in a loving relationship would normally behave like this.

For what they are worth, my thoughts are:

• She is just a rude person, plain and simple (ask yourself if you want to be with someone like this).
• She was in a bad mood and taking it out on you (not acceptable).
• She was upset with you about something (not acceptable either, if she has an issue she should talk to you about it).
• (Sorry, but I have to say this as my ex was snappy and accusational before he ended it) She isn't happy, hence why she was so quick to accuse you of being controlling as wanted to make you the 'villain').

Hope you get it sorted

Did you ask if she was ok when she appeared to be in a poor mood?

Hi everyone, ive caught up with the replies. Yesterday was a crazy busy day.

I spoke to DP and she said she saw no problem reading her book. I saw.maybe if she communicated that she wanted to read for a bit instead of just sitting in the corner ignoring me then I wouldn't have felt so ignored. She didn't acknowledge her bad mood.

Yesterday I had a big appointment, she knew this. Anyway after the appointment we spent time together and visited her family to drop presents off. I had a follow up at 4pm which she knew about. I said I may need to pop out to the car to speak to the person who I spoke to in the morning. So this is what I did, I also made her family aware I needed to dash out and speak as this was important and they were fine and understanding. I quickly called my DM for 5 mins after the appointment call because she was apart of the appointment process. Went back inside and all seemed fine. We.got back to DP and I mentioned I called my DM quickly to tell her the outcome and she snapped at me that I had spoken to her for 5 mins and that she had been waiting for me inside. I stated that since DM was apart of the process I wanted to let her know the outcome. It seemed to me she didn't grasp what a big appointment this was for me. She then went on this rageful rant about how what she does is never good and slamming all the pots and pans around.
Sorry that was a bit long, just wanted to provide an update.

She sounds like a sulky teenager. Given the choice I wouldn’t want to spend my time with somebody like that.

maybe if she communicated that she wanted to read for a bit instead of just sitting in the corner ignoring me then I wouldn't have felt so ignored.

She didn't ignore you. She answered when you asked what she wanted to watch. Her sitting with a book is a fairly clear communication she wanted to read.

Fgs

you have young children

why why the fuck are you exposing them to this woman.

Your priority should be your children jot your shit show of a love life

It's difficult for us to know if her response was OTT because we don't know exactly how the conversation went all evening, or exactly how you behaved all evening. She was rude, but were you ridiculous? I've no idea.

Where does she mention children?

@Hiimblahblah you clearly haven't seen my name very often then...

I'm not antagonising anyone. I think the OP was as bad as her DP, just in different ways.

From what you've written I'm with your partner. You sound hard work. Doesn't being with someone mean you relax in their company, you don't have to talk incessantly it's just nice to occupy the same space?

Christ, she sounds like hard work. Time to end it.

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