AIBU? People often ask me, "do you celebrate Christmas"?

[July70]

WTF do they ask me and not the others in the office. Even my stupid clients do that. It's nothing new as I have it at school than less so at uni, and now had this at every place I've worked at. Even those stupid people that live in the close, some ask me.

We are not from the UK and tBH I was never offended but in recent days, possibly too many people being offended over everything and me getting older, should I be offended?

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

I know why they ask me, but am I being too sensitive now as I'm pretty sure the vast majority are not being offensive IMO?

How is saying "Jesus wept" offensive? It's a commonly used phrase.

@July70 that's not how I use "Jesus wept". It's not "cussing" anyone, it's like a resigned sigh at how ridiculous something is.

But as you're not a Christian, although you do celebrate the excesses of Christmas, just not the religious bits, surely that isn't offensive?

You do sound like someone looking to find offence.

Thanks @girlmom21

It is offensive and if you don't recognise that I have nothing more to add. FYI, I'm not Christain but have a lot of respect for all religions

sorry did not add name

@roarfeckingroarr

It is offensive and if you don't recognise that I have nothing more to add. FYI, I'm not Christain but have a lot of respect for all religions

If people presume you celebrate Christmas they get berated for not being culturally sensitive. If people ask if you celebrate Christmas they are upsetting people by asking. Only in the UK are you never able to win.

Jesus wept is an exclamation rather than swearing. A lot of people say Jesus Christ as an exclamation. Common parlance imo. Like OMG oh my Lord. Oh my god! And so on.

I think it’s important to ask. I have friends who are Jewish and they don’t celebrate Christmas, it’s respectful to ask and not just presume.

Yeah I'd say it's annoying but I'm not white and get asked all the time. I was born here and have a British parent and guaranteed I'll be the only person asked out for a group of white people.

I'm not really offended so much as aggrieved that I can never ever fit in here despite having only know the U.K. as my home culturally and literally. Just another thing to add to a long list of things that add to a feeling of being displaced in a country I'd like to think is where I am from.
Most people celebrate Christmas here. I think it's rude in the U.K. to not be able to say something like, are you up to much over the Christmas holidays. Personally I think in a n almost secular country with Christian foundations it's fair to assume one is celebrating Christmas in some way or another ie not religiously vs assuming you might offend someone by incorrectly guessing they won't be.

The amount of time people assume I'm either Muslim or Hindu as well gets on my nerves. But hey just part of being brown here I suppose.

@Wibbly1008

Why is it "repsectful to ask"? I get fed up with it as per my OP
Why not just say to me, EB, "have a nice xmas, happy xmas etc"?/ Why not just say that as my response would be = "thanks...happy xmas to you and enjoy... don't drink too much,lol etc etc"

depending if a work mate or who said it

I've never asked anyone if they "celebrate Christmas" but what I have heard is talking to people I don't know well and whne I've said "what are you doing over Christmas," one responded "we don't celebrate it" I said ok and moved on

so why make people feel uncomfortable by asking if the celebrate it as I dont want to be asked every year about it

"Jesus wept" is not offensive. It's a common exclamation in the UK.

Some D&I training from work suggested that asking is better than assuming people do celebrate Christmas.

You clearly disagree.

It's almost like the corporate D&I industry speaks a load of bollocks...

I've never asked anyone if they "celebrate Christmas" but what I have heard is talking to people I don't know well and whne I've said "what are you doing over Christmas," one responded "we don't celebrate it" I said ok and moved on

so why make people feel uncomfortable by asking if the celebrate it as I dont want to be asked every year about it

I personally feel like asking what someone's doing and them having to tell you they don't celebrate would make them more uncomfortable than if you asked if they celebrated Christmas.

@baublebeard

Many many thanks, I can 100% relate to that.

I am often asked if Im "Muslim" as well, I'm not as I'm a British Indian and I ask the person in return, "are you Muslim" and the expression on their face IMO educates them not to ask a silly question like that again.

For me, and those twisting my comments can say what they want - I live and let live but this/England is my country as much as the next person and between my parents, family, friends and me, we like many others have paid millions in taxes and contiue to do so and I am ticked off for being asked these questions oftem EG

Do you celbrate Christmas?
What is your Christian name
Are you Muslim

I'm Brith Indian that love England and her traditions and also celebrate both ie UK and my motherland ones. For the record, even the motherland celebrations are in the commercial sense as is life.

If England was attacked by Russia/France, any country, I would defend our land from the trenches unlike our leaders hiding in the bunkers.

I'm entitled to say how I feel when asked as above but I'm not "woke" etc and I have a lot of respect for all, especially those that respect me.

Happy Christmas😀 to all (simple as that) :)

@girlmom21

I'm not sure if you are taking the p with that post

Why not just wish me a "Happy Christmas"?????

As we celebrate it like millions in a secular way, I said same to you/happy xmas..don't drink too much , have a nice hols

If I did not celebrate and you said "Happy Christmas" to me - I'd say thanks, same to you.

Simples.

No I'm not, but I think your posts are incredibly contradictory.

It's offensive to you if people ask if you celebrate, but you can't see how people would feel uncomfortable if they don't celebrate but are asked by you what their plans are.

It's offensive to you if people say 'Jesus wept' but not for you to ask if someone's taking the pee.

You're looking for things to be offended by while not considering anybody else. Some of the ways you've said you treat people are rude and unnecessary.

@girlmom21

So why not just wish me a "Happy Christmas" like you presumably would to those that looked like indigenous people of the UK?

It's not me that feels like that and there are several others examples on the thread.

I never ask anyone if they celebrate Xmas etc so why am I often asked that??

Because a lot of people don't celebrate Christmas. As I mentioned, my SIL is Jewish. Some of her family celebrate Christmas, some don't.

I have Muslim friends who celebrate Christmas and Muslim friends who don't.

I've asked Muslim people if they're fasting for Ramadan etc to get an insight into them and their religion or culture. It's not offensive.

I have lots of Muslim friends, they all take part in Christmas gift giving at work, Christmas cards etc. Some have Christmas trees/decorations and do Christmas dinner. I genuinely don’t think anyone would ever be offended by receiving a Christmas card or gift if they aren’t Christian!

So why not just wish me a "Happy Christmas"

Because then you'd start a thread moaning that someone had wished you happy Christmas....

I think it's a perfectly fine for anyone in the UK to be asked their Christian name.

I think it's funny OP says it's not ok to ask someone their Christian name but you also must assume they celebrate Christmas

@girlmom21 yes, if someone is going to play devil's advocate they need to think it through

@HJ40

So why is every, any and every forum, application on paper, online and even forums ask for 'first name'?

Should people not move with the times or do you still want the laws we had in the 60's?? Think about it.