AIBU? People often ask me, "do you celebrate Christmas"?

[July70]

WTF do they ask me and not the others in the office. Even my stupid clients do that. It's nothing new as I have it at school than less so at uni, and now had this at every place I've worked at. Even those stupid people that live in the close, some ask me.

We are not from the UK and tBH I was never offended but in recent days, possibly too many people being offended over everything and me getting older, should I be offended?

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

I know why they ask me, but am I being too sensitive now as I'm pretty sure the vast majority are not being offensive IMO?

YABU I think they're just trying to be respectful and if you're offended then you need to look at why that offends you.

Its an innocent question IMO.

You are either offended, or you are not. Why are you asking people if you should be?

Calling people stupid, in the way you have done it, is definitely offensive though.

I think you are just looking to be offended.

And are being offensive yourself by referring to Christmas as commercial and excess food and drink etc. just because someone isn't religious doesn't mean they celebrate "commercial Christmas". It means they enjoy the holiday, time with friends and family. Yes, having a feast - maybe look beyond the Christian tradition and look at the origins of why we have a feast/lights in December. Maybe stop referring to non religious celebrations as "commercial celebrations"

We were talking christmas traditions yesterday at work. And it was interesting to learn other countries traditions of when the tree goes up, when presents are exchanged etc. not everything is about causing offence.

FFS - the OP is sick of people making assumptions and comments that are microaggressions. BECAUSE if she was white - the question 'Do you celebrate Christmas?' would not be asked. What is so hard to understand?

So many saying the OP is taking offence too easily. Maybe she's just f sick of it? Please watch the youtube video

You are very angry on OP's behalf. It's just small talk not micro-aggression. There are lots of people who do not celebrate Christmas and it has nothing to do with what you are suggesting.

If you need to ask if you should be offended then there's something wrong. You're either offended or you're not. It's not up to others to decide for you

Some people will literally get offended over ANYTHING

You can't win:

Wish a Merry Christmas to someone not celebrating = Offended

Check if someone celebrates Christmas before wishing them a Merry Christmas = Offended

Don't wish someone a Merry Christmas because you're not sure if they celebrate it = Offended

TBH OP with the way you've come across in this thread you're lucky anyone even talks to you as you sound deeply unpleasant.

Happy Holidays!! 💩

I'm confused. So you do celebrate Christmas and are offended if people ask whether you do but you're also offended of people ask you what your Christian name is.. so, you don't want any mention of Chritianity, is that it?

@nancydroo yes I am angry on the OPs behalf because it literally is a microagression and people on the thread are being deliberately obtuse in pretending that it isn't. How many of your white skinned colleagues would get asked this question every year? Literally zero.

The OP has never once said she would be offended if someone wished her a Merry Christmas - that's just making stuff up!

Are you vocal that you are another religion that doesn't typically celebrate Christmas? If the question is based purely on your ethnicity or where you from it would about me!

Happy Holidays!! 💩

Charmed I'm sure. Now who exactly is being 'deeply unpleasant?'

Well that’s an anti White racist assumption.

Another antiWhite racist assumption.

If you are from a culture that doesn't traditionally celebrate Xmas then of course it's not an offensive question. Surely they are just showing an interest in you?

I'm sorry but that's utter BS.

It could and maybe is on some occasions a "micro aggression" depending on the thoughts of the person stating it or asking the question. I don't however think asking somebody if they celebrate Christmas reflects a negative attitude towards a culture or religion.

But for many it's just an innocent question to try and understand somebody's culture and belief and the rest.

The fact that we live in a world where we cannot do anything without it being called a micro aggression or offending somebody because there are so many snowflakes in the world these days is insufferable.

Stop finding offence where there isn't any. We also can choose how we react to things, whether we are offended by things.

I can however imagine it's annoying being asked it often for the OP but that's not the same thing as being actually offended by it in an entirely different level.

I think this.

I’ve bristled a bit at the OP calling Christmas purely commercial for most people. I am not religious but culturally Christian and my Christmas doesn’t involve anything particularly religious but it’s still a lot more than commercial. Yes I eat and drink more than normally but it’s about a lot more than that. A lot of our presents to relatives have been hand made by the DC - it’s about showing you care, visiting relatives you don’t often see so much (I’ve got one such visit today lined up and I can assure you I wouldn’t be doing it if Christmas was just a commercial exercise!!), spending intensive family time with children.

I don’t think I’ve ever asked if anyone celebrates Christmas BUT I have wondered if I should be asking. We send Christmas cards to all of DC’s friends including of different religions. Because I know, and get on well with, the parents I know they will take the cards well but if they were people I didn’t know so well, perhaps I would ask. Of the 2 Hindu families we are closest to I know one does celebrate Christmas - not as intensely as we do, as it’s our main holiday, but Santa brings presents to the children etc - and the other doesn’t seem to acknowledge it at all. I only know this because I know the families but surely people are asking because they simply don’t know and don’t want to assume. They are trying to be polite and inclusive.

Haha - right - I've seen it all now.

What the heck is an anti-White rascist assumption?

People are frickin' nuts on this site!

Stop finding offence where there isn't any. We also can choose how we react to things, whether we are offended by things

Geeze - I never would have known any of that - had you not told me. Thanks so much

The only person being aggressive and making racist assumptions is OP by calling people stupid and saying English people only celebrate a commercialised version of Christmas.

Let's say I were a white person living in the Middle East. My colleagues ask if I celebrate Eid. I characterise them as 'stupid' for asking and reply that I only celebrate in the commercial sense, like the vast majority in the country. Then I get offended when this statement isn't taken well.

According to you, that would be perfectly reasonable.

My SIL is white and Jewish and celebrates Christmas so she gets asked lots of questions

I now wish people a merry Christmas "if you celebrate it" following a diversity drive at my work. I would make sure to do this if someone is Asian or has a non UK/American/Aussie/Kiwi/SA accent I suppose, as there's a larger chance they're not Christian OR don't celebrate "Christmas" in the secular sense that most Brits do celebrate,

It's really not trying to "other" people (ridiculous phrase), it's what we have been told is the right thing to do.

@MrsDoyle351 Thank you

As I said, several re twisting what I have said.
I get annoyed and IMO I'm asked this question because of the colour of my skin.
However, we have always celebrated Christmas as in the commercial aspect of just like tens of millions of others in the UK that celebrate xmas a secular event.

I get fed up with the older group aged 65+ asking me my Christian name.

With the above two scenarios I never get upset, I don't challenge but just state how I feel

i love England and the majority of people here as having travelled the world inc the motherland, IMO, England is a much fairer place than most.

I even posted a link from a media source a well known one from London that confirmed Xmas for most was "secular" in the uk

Yes, ignore reality and twist my comments if you wish but I'm not alone in feeling like this but to be clear, when people give me a xmas card or wish me happy xmas I always return the good wishes. Now, keep on trying to twist what I have stated

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/dec/03/christmas-past-present-how-secular-britain-found-new-ways-to-celebrate-the-season

@July70 so you get annoyed about people asking your "Christian" name but also at people questioning whether you celebrate Christmas...

Jesus wept

Here is the link that proves what I have said re the vast majority and Xmas

www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/indepth/features/23207053.christmas-commercialisation-olivia-eyeson-parmiters-school/

From the guradian

One well-established tradition of Christmas is the publication of studies showing the threat to Christmas traditions. This year we learn, according to a study by online marketplace Groupon, that 46% of the young have never sung a traditional Christmas carol and 47% think that midnight mass has had its day.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/dec/03/christmas-past-present-how-secular-britain-found-new-ways-to-celebrate-the-season

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to be clear, you can wih me "happy Christmas and ask me for my "Christian name" I won't be offended but get fed up as I/we have always celebrated xmas a an excuse to drink and eat in excess, spend money on gifts, get togther for kness up etc like millions of others. As for my "Christian name" it is my first name but some people will never change and I get that.

Those twisting my comments, please carry on as everyone can see through you.

Happy Christams to all and have a nice break and don't spend money you cant afford to spend and do not get too drunk

:)

@roarfeckingroarr

About you stating at the end of your silly post, "Jesus wept."

You are cussing me and then make an offensive comment like that.

Incredible but shows what you are like.

I get asked all the time and it's never been anything other than out of interest.
I'm pretty sure they don't care one way or the other but are just making conversation or interested.
I've never had anyone follow up with 'fuck off then' when I explain not really but we do have a family get together and traditional Xmas food.