AIBU? People often ask me, "do you celebrate Christmas"?

[July70]

WTF do they ask me and not the others in the office. Even my stupid clients do that. It's nothing new as I have it at school than less so at uni, and now had this at every place I've worked at. Even those stupid people that live in the close, some ask me.

We are not from the UK and tBH I was never offended but in recent days, possibly too many people being offended over everything and me getting older, should I be offended?

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

I know why they ask me, but am I being too sensitive now as I'm pretty sure the vast majority are not being offensive IMO?

I hate 'Happy Holidays'.

I celebrate Christmas, (pagan version.). Everyone can choose what they celebrate, but depersonalising celebrations -nope.

it's an Americanism that can stay in America.

"Should I be offended?"

What? I don't understand how anyone can even ask this. This is the height of stupidity and so much of what's wrong with the world today. There's not a big list somewhere of what you should or shouldn't be offended by. You are you. No-one else is. If it doesn't offend YOU then it doesn't offend you. No-one else needs to, or has the right to, say "Yes, you need to start being offended by that from now on. That's the rules". I despair.

I feel for you. Personally I think it's very tedious for you to have to hear this over and over.

It's an example of people being thoughtless but not necessarily malicious. Still annoying. ☹️

Hopefully if more people speak out and say it's a bit annoying, the general culture will change and people will stop asking.

Well, you don't mind. I have had colleagues who did mind so now I ask. Most people at my office with a brown skin tended to not be christian, so why is it offensive to ask if they celebrate christmas? It's a bit difficult to not be offensive if not asking if someone celebrates is offensive and so is asking....

From one 'perceived foreign' to another: YANBU. It is very othering to get this question in a country you think of as home - it makes you feel like you are not the norm. See also: "but where are you really from" which has hopefully now been consigned to the rubbish bin post-Ngozi Fulani.

I tend to reflect the question right back at them i.e. 'yes, what about you, do you celebrate Christmas?' - saves me from tedious explaining and people tend to be flattered thinking you are interested in their answer. (I'm not, because it's never close friends asking these questions, is it.)

For all the confused people: "are you doing anything nice over the holidays?" covers a lot and focuses on the positive.

Tbh I think it’s a combination of people not wanting to offend and being totally confused by who celebrates Christmas and who doesn’t, who cares and who doesn’t.
I googled something today as I’d watched Stacey Solomon making Christmas decorations and I thought she was Jewish. Whole articles about how and why lots of Jewish people celebrate Christmas. This was one www.myjewishlearning.com/article/jews-christmas/
DP and I lived in a predominantly (90%+) Muslim country for a short time and were surprised to receive Christmas cards, mostly from work colleagues. They weren’t offended we were observing Christmas ( they assumed, we weren’t big on it) in their country and we were touched to receive their greetings in cards.

Not everyone believes there is only one God.

Some people believe in more gods and some people reject the idea of gods/ a god entirely.

The thing with the 'Christian name' bothers me too, in my parents generation this was the same as asking your given name, but Christian names are not your given name.

It really irritated me when my mum used it as she had her given name, a totally different name from her baptism and a third from her confirmation.

I just say enjoy the holidays and be done with it. You don't have to be a church going Christian to enjoy time off and trashy TV, do you?

Not sure why people get so offended, I used to love Lunar New Year, Diwali etc in the appropriate countries when I lived there - clearly wasn't my festival but enjoyed it.

I don't understand this mentality at all. I work with a lot of people from different cultures and religions. I don't get irritated when people wish me a Happy Divali or . I just thank them and wish them the same. They aren't 'assuming I celebrate' that holiday, they are just being inclusive and sharing their celebrations and traditions.

OP you're allowed to be annoyed, people are flaming annoying, simple.
However, Christmas is treasured and valued far more than you think. The rampant commercialism that underlies everything these days doesn't reflect the deep love Christians of all nationalities feel about the birth of a child who was going to revolutionise the entire world and bring a courageous light to humanity.
The corrupt politics of religion in the wrong hands has disrupted the simple message of a child born not in a palace but in poor, basic conditions.
He grew up challenging hypocrisy, defending the most hated and lost in society saying that they were worth more love than the wealthy self serving judges of them; at considerable cost to himself.
He was given many opportunities to flee but was determined that humankind would know that they were worth dying for; that they could find an extraordinary soul within themselves and others because they were loved and could also love.
We are celebrating this beautiful child of God bringing light into a very dark human world. Like
Christmas lights should remind us of the starlight the vast infinite universe can't consume.

This.

Most people wouldn’t want to wish someone a merry Christmas and offend them if they don’t celebrate. They’re asking to clarify this. Confirm either way and move on. Nobody is being rude to you here.

Actually, I'm saying it's a socially inept and unacceptable thing to say. Believing it is one thing, but saying it suggests that you are trying to be provocative and upset whoever you're speaking to. It's ok not to say everything you think, that's how social etiquette works. "I speak my mind, me" is not an attitude that generally wins respect or friends, however proud you are about it

I don’t assume as I used to work with a lady who was a Jehovah’s Witness and she didn’t even open a card if someone gave her one. She’s white, British.

I thought this was a genuine post but it's just an opportunity to diss Christmas...excess blah blah blah. Fair enough. I'm surprised anyone bothers talking to you at all. Your attitude stinks. Wind your neck in and stop looking to be offended.

I always say forename and wince a little when colleagues ask customers what their Christian name is.

I am Jewish; I wish everyone a happy winter vacation when I am at work as a uni. lecturer (currently on ML) it's not really something to be offended about OP.

WTF do they ask me and not the others in the office. Even my stupid clients do that. It's nothing new as I have it at school than less so at uni, and now had this at every place I've worked at. Even those stupid people that live in the close, some ask me.

Why are people 'stupid' because they are trying to do the right thing and not cause offence?

It seems we're 'damned if we do and damned if we don't'.

There was a thread last year where an atheist said she hated Christmas being 'shoved down her throat' and if anyone gave her a Christmas card she tore it up and threw it in the bin.
With attitudes like that around, some of us would rather known where we stand before we wasted our time and money. 🙄

I am not bothered if someone wishes me a happy Christmas either. I might sometimes say, if you think planning for Christmas is stressful, try Channukah it's 8 days of family dynamics

It's your own choice to be "offended" by anything. Personally I think it's fine for people to ask the question 🤷🏼‍♀️

I work in a very multi cultured office and in the past I probably would have asked that. Now I just ask ‘what are your plans for Christmas?’. As I’ve realised there’s nothing wrong with asking that. It’s the Christmas break. We all live in the U.K. and I’ve realised after 20yrs that everyone wishes everyone a happy Christmas regardless of race or religion. So now I just ask what they are doing, I’m not asking if they are all having a Turkey dinner, but what their plans are with their family and their time off work. I do agree that people shouldn’t be asking one person if they celebrate and assuming they don’t.

I love being asked this. It's such a relief. Better than everyone assuming, and asking "have you put your tree up yet?" or quizzing DD about Santa.

Reading the thread, I can see a lot of comments that could be construed as defending (unintentional) racism.

I'm wondering if the phrase 'what do you do at Christmas?' (something I commonly hear), would be better for those well meaning people to ask?

Racism? Can you highlight the racist posts/comments because I don't see that in the OP or a lot of the comments... prejudice yes - you could say there is prejudice in that you are being pre-judged on your beliefs based on your appearance (I am not sure why that is a bad thing in this instance though).

I expect the only thing that would offend the OP more is if people did assume s/he celebrated Christmas!

Some people just want to be offended and look for a problem where there isn't one.

No king after I posted on this thread yesterday someone asked me if I celebrate Christmas. They went in to ask if I put decorations up in my house. I asked them if they were doing anything for Christmas. They replied that they were going to Birmingham and the conversation moved on. We were simply making small talk. I'd don't think either of us were offended. Christmas in the commercial sense means different things to different people, you only have to read a Christmas thread on MN to realise that.