AIBU? People often ask me, "do you celebrate Christmas"?

[July70]

WTF do they ask me and not the others in the office. Even my stupid clients do that. It's nothing new as I have it at school than less so at uni, and now had this at every place I've worked at. Even those stupid people that live in the close, some ask me.

We are not from the UK and tBH I was never offended but in recent days, possibly too many people being offended over everything and me getting older, should I be offended?

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

I know why they ask me, but am I being too sensitive now as I'm pretty sure the vast majority are not being offensive IMO?

"Do you celebrate christmas" is "wildly offensive."

I now officially give up on life.

I definitely wouldn't be asked this if I was white, which is what makes it annoying.
I don't know of any Christians, but everyone celebrates Christmas here. I'd be very surprised if anyone actually goes to Church etc and actually celebrates Jesus where I am

Would it not be more offensive if people assumed you did celebrate Christmas? I've a Jewish friend who's feeling a bit frustrated with all the Christmas wishes when he doesn't celebrate but he takes them in good faith as they're meant. I think people just don't want to make assumptions

My local premier newsagents opens for a few hours at Xmas.

I asked the non originally British and haven't been raised here if they open because they don't celebrate or because they get good trade.

The brothers didn't seem offended. In fact one laughed and said "both".

My ds isn't born in this country. He's white. I'm white. No one here has ever seen his father. People ask if he's British. They ask if he/ we are Christian. We don't get offended. They are asking because people aren't clear you can be born abroad and still be British and hold a British passport. Plus they don't know his dad is British either! It would be fair despite him being white to assume his dad could be from the country he's born in. And that isn't a Christian country predominantly.

I choose not to be offended by people asking because I know they are asking so not to make a mistake and offend me

YANBU at all! If they are just asking you because of your skin colour then that is actually really offensive. I am an atheist, I’ve never been asked if I celebrate Christmas.

Agree with others- they are trying to be thoughtful and not assume everyone celebrates Christmas! I say happy holidays, have a great break etc to everyone as I’d be foolish and thoughtless to assume others celebrate Christmas just because I do!

I actually agree it’s a wildly patronising question, albeit one which is usually “well intentioned”.

How is it patronising? It's acknowledging that some people from other faiths celebrate a secular Christmas, whereas others prefer not to mark it at all.

When I was growing up, we knew a lovely older couple who didn't celebrate Christmas due to being some type of strict Scottish Presbyterian (I don't have any more detail than that on their precise beliefs, though I think the rejection of Christmas was an anti-Catholic thing maybe). So you'd be right to think not all white Christians celebrate Christmas.

My nail techs a Jehovah’s Witness and white. I asked her if she celebrates Christmas. As it turns out she doesnt 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm white British and don't celebrate Xmas because I'm pagan and quite honestly by the 500th time of being asked are you ready for Xmas I could scream. I get how you must find it irritating especially at its targeted at you specifically. I loathe Xmas and the greed and fuss and how I wish people would shut up about it.

If I'm with a group of my white friends (none Christian), I'll be the only one who is asked. That's what is annoying. Where I am there aren't really any religious people of any type so maybe it's more odd in my situation rather than in a place where the chances of someone not celebrating Christmas are high. I was just responding to OP based on my experiences

How is it patronising or offensive? People are asking a straight question so as not to inundate you with greetings that don't apply to you. Some people don't celebrate Christmas. Some do, but on different days or with different traditions. People can't be well versed about every culture's customs. Just answer yes or no.

I’m British Asian but we are completely ‘westernised’ in our culture. At work etc it is clear, and people will assume I celebrate Christmas, as I do. But on the rare occasion I’m asked, I’m not remotely offended. Why should I be? I just assume people are being culturally sensitive and polite, and answer appropriately.

There are things in life to be offended by, but this is in no way one of them.

They roll their eyes do they?

Why?

I've never asked anyone if they celebrate Christmas, but I wouldn't automatically assume someone does, just like I wouldn't assume someone was going to attend mass on Christmas Day because they have a tree up.

I've known people who assume everyone celebrates Christmas, and it's been a bit cringe watching the assumptions fly.

With all these things the intent of the person makes all the difference. So if they are clumsily asking you, with the intent to be thoughtful about how you celebrate (or not), then no it’s not remotely offensive.

People wish me happy easter, exmas, ramadan, dawali, and a few more I guess. Why should I mind if people wished me 'happy..' something?

I don't go around asking people if they celebrate, Christmas.

Thank you.

Exactly that. It's because I'm brown ski colour is why I think they ask me. As I sai I did not mind before but getting a bit fed up.

I have a few friends from my motherland and they were converted to Christianity and even they asked me, which made me chuckle. However, as they are converts they did not like my response as per my OP ie, "celebrate like most in England, as a commercial entity. and excess food and drink and presents."

To me, I don't care what race/relgion/colur they are and if they are good to me, I will be to them for certainty .

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

Well that's one way to make sure that people not only don't ask you anything in future, they avoid small talk with you and actively avoid you if they see you coming...

@MindPalace

Thank you. I'm like that, sort of by my children are 101% like that. We wear western clothing at all times bar Indian weddings for the ladies and the blokes most in western suits but some may wear traditional Indian mens suits, fancy ones. We were the first our of every Indian family I know to have fry ups and even eat beef, yes, I eat beef mum did not as she was veggie and fellow Indians turned up their nose. Until I told a friend that the steak and kidney he was eating was beef - this is in the late 70's and the chap had arrived from overseas a few years before.

So I guess I'm westernised in the way of lif other than we've never borrowed money other than a mortgage as paying interest on cc's HP etc is against our nature.

However, I have started getting offended possibly because I'm getting older but not offended to an extent where I think its racists. I'm not stuip I know that 99% of those that ask are being genuine but it winds me up just like the iditos often those in their late 60's and older ask me for my "Christian name" - I just give them my first name and don't make a scene.

I'm not woke etc and for years I failed to recognise the glass ceiling and this is how brain-washed I was.

However, having started this thread and my comments - this is my home and where my parents, my inlaws, our children have contributed millions in taxes and helped England become a better place. My parents told me we must work and work to better ourselves and build on that. Thanks to my parent's education to us we are financially comfortable and never get in trouble with the law.

TBH, England is a lot less racist compared to many countries I've been to as most of the people of all backgrounds are nice/fair people.

I'm actual so westernised that unlike many, I have been in many religious places of worship with friends as it does not bother me as there is only one God.
Sadly, someone that was born again was astounded when they were discussing religion as they often brought up the subjet and shocked when I told them I had no problem visiting ????'s place of worship

But, I do get wound up being asked about Xmas in recent weeks.

What a happy soul you are. Your clients are "stupid" and the neighbours are too.

Merry bloody Christmas

@LordEmsworth
Are you saying that the majority of people in the UK don't see Christmas as a commercial exercise, EG, excess food, drink, holidays, partying and buying presents one cannot afford?

YANBU

Does it matter if someone celebrates Christmas or not?

If we’re going out for a Christmas do at work then the entire team is invited, not just the Christian’s.

If someone sends Xmas cards then they give them to everyone, regardless of their religion.

Many atheists celebrate Christmas in a non-religious sense so I don’t get why people feel the need to ask the question.

I only know of some Jehovah witnesses that don’t do anything on the day.

All of my Muslim, Jewish, seek, Hindu, atheist and agnostic friends celebrate Christmas in some way, even if they don’t celebrate the birth of a child born from a virgin.

No. The majority of people would celebrate Christmas with a knowledge of the story behind it. Kids going nativity plays for example. It's offensive to say we're all just victims of consumerism. You're the one being offensive here, not the people asking out of politeness so as not to assume.