AIBU? People often ask me, "do you celebrate Christmas"?

[July70]

WTF do they ask me and not the others in the office. Even my stupid clients do that. It's nothing new as I have it at school than less so at uni, and now had this at every place I've worked at. Even those stupid people that live in the close, some ask me.

We are not from the UK and tBH I was never offended but in recent days, possibly too many people being offended over everything and me getting older, should I be offended?

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

I know why they ask me, but am I being too sensitive now as I'm pretty sure the vast majority are not being offensive IMO?

It’ll be because of the colour of your skin. And I think that that makes it not ok. I’m white. Never ever been asked.

Someone just wished me Happy Holidays and I was so offended. How DARE someone assume I’d ever want to be happy.

@legalseagull

Dear friend

You do talk a load of talk nonsense.
Everyone in my family, relatives and close friends celebrate xmas in the commercial sense eg excess food/drink etc etc and excess parting - what would yo call it. Don't take my word for it mate, read the net. I live in London
and from a local news souce - see link and I quote

"Christmas is arguably the most popular holiday in the UK and according to a Statista survey - 92% of Brits will partake in the celebrations (though for many this will be for secular rather than religious reasons). Thus, it is an opportunity for companies to capitalise on the demand of people searching for items ranging from presents to decorations, and therefore make a profit."

ok, bud!! :)

www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/indepth/features/23207053.christmas-commercialisation-olivia-eyeson-parmiters-school/

It's a celebration with deep and varied significance, Christian, pagan, local and family traditions and rituals. Like any number of celebrations in any number of cultures, there is excess involved in terms of consumption, giving and display as people strive for abundance and generosity. This is not the key purpose of the celebration. I'm sure very few believe it is. I'm not sure why you choose to be so reductive about this particular festival.

If your responses reflect your usual demeanour, perhaps people ask because it's not clear whether you celebrate anything in life at all.

Are you drunk OP?

What's your problem? Why the patronising response? Get a grip

A reasonable question. People are trying not to offend you, but you will probably get offended whatever they say or do.

It is not equality or inclusive to treat everybody the same - that leads to minorities being ignored.

Most white people in the UK are culturally Christian, regardless of whether they are religious, as are most people of Caribbean heritage Many people of Asian or Middle Eastern heritage are not.

I voted based on your original premise when of course you weren't being unreasonable... And then time passed. Nope. Definitely you. I mean, I know it's the school holidays and all..

Just to be clear to all. I have no problem with Christmas or any other religious/cultural even and like I said we have always celebrated them via excess food/drink etc like most and the above quote/link supports my beliefs.

I do get annoyed about being constantly asked about it and bemused when I tell them how I and millions of others celebrate it in England, in a commercial (secular) sense

I do get wound up especially when its often older 60/65+ ask for my Christian name but I don't argue but give them my first name.

Unlike many, I have and would attend any religious place of worship if a friend wanted me to go with them.

I've already said that england is a fairer country to live in than most I know of.

I'm entitled to an opinion and if you don't like it, tough luck.

Those trying to twist what I'm saying, try harder, a lot harder

i don’t disagree with you actually, but interesting that you choose my post to follow up on, and not the ones telling OP to get a grip, and asking if she’s drunk, but sure.

Don't now where you're from but I'm from EU and people still ask 🙈

But people who celebrate Christmas in a non spiritual/non religious way still enjoy the occasion for more than commercialism in my experience. It's not just about buying things - it is about spending time with family, looking for ways to take part in your community and it is about appreciating what you have got.

You have undermined all that with your entrenched ideas about a commercialised Christmas. And I feel offended by your posts and your inability to understand the country you have lived in for so long.

I don't assume anyone celebrates Christmas. I just wish everyone a happy Christmas anyway. Because its Christmas time and we get a couple of Bank Hols off work. I think you start digging a hole for yourself by asking some people whether they celebrate Christmas simply based on their skin colour.

"Christian name" is a bit like a lot of other phrases that people don't think about as it's so normal. Like "contact lens". It's so just taken to mean "first name" here that I can completely see that it sticks out like a very sore thumb if you're not more than 2nd or 3rd generation. The being asked is (very very ) annoyingly repetitive, but sounds like it's not malicious. You could point out that all cultures have mid-winter festivals and that Christians just piggy-backed those, but suspect your best option is just to go with it. Apologies OP - doesn't help your frustration. The eye-rollers are knobs.

People are dammed if they do and dammed if they don’t. YABVU

Say what, now? Is there some rule about which posts I am allowed to respond to? Why did you post if you didn't want people to reply to you?

My boss in my old job asked a colleague this. It’s a very middle class white profession and the guy he asked was Indian. I can remember my jaw physically dropping when the words came out of his mouth “what do you chaps do for Christmas, a curry?!” And I can’t believe how well he handled it. I actually told him I’d back him up if he reported it to HR and he just rolled his eyes at me - obviously it is something he gets often.
sorry OP x

Wait - there's a thread about why does everyone assume that everyone celebrates Christmas?
People can't win can they - insensitive if they wish you Happy Christmas but also if they ask if you celebrate...

The only person being rude and culturally offensive is you.

What I find even more offensive is when I tell them that we have always celebrated Christmas sine I can recall in the UK but only in the commercial sense like the vast majority in England, and some roll their eyes.

It offends YOU when people roll their eyes after you have made an insulting and patronising remark about their country?

Not really same as politely acknowledging that someone who may not be Christian might not celebrate Christmas though, is it?

Once upon a time, not that long ago, you could wish everyone a happy Christmas, Christian or not. You could say it implying enjoy the season and the excitement. Enjoy the school holiday. Enjoy the office or factory shut down.

Now, heaven forbid you may innocently and with good intentions dare possibly wish someone who might possibly not be Christian glad tidings. And therefore we have to trip over ourselves to awkwardly try and enquire if someone 'celebrates' Christmas to then decide if it's safe to continue without causing offence when all we want to do is wish them a happy bloody Christmas.

Chances are we don't give a shiny shit anyway, it's just trying to be polite like asking 'how are you?' or 'did you have a nice weekend?' but the woke-ones have decided it's preferable to be a miserly Scrooge than possibly dare assume anything about what someone thinks about this time of year.

I'm sure someone has already said it, but I think it's a product of the media- social media probably more so. People hear about examples of others being upset by 'disrespectful' or 'ignorant' people and feel they need to be more careful/walk on eggshells to avoid offending others. Mostly, I expect they do not mean to offend, but the action of singling you out because of your appearance obviously does offend! I grew up in a small village, moved to a small city, and now work in a predominantly London based team. I have never been more aware of the kaleidoscope of different beliefs, and find that i sign off emails/wish people well in a more general way. For example, I might say I hope you get chance to enjoy some time off over the Christmas period if I am not aware if that person celebrates Christmas or not, but I would never ask someone if they celebrate Christmas. I think it's best put down to a misguided ignorance, so maybe the best way forward is to approach it with a need to educate on how you feel about that approach, and that you celebrate in the way the majority of other people living here do!

I'd ask it (or words to that effect eg 'what do you do over the Christmas period') if I knew someone wasn't British and/or I knew the person was Jewish or Muslim, for example. I asked my driving instructor last week. She's from Afghanistan and came here as a refugee and is Muslim and I know she has young children born and bred here and I was genuinely interested in how her children grow up in a country which celebrates it when they're in a family that doesn't.

If I knew someone was Jewish or Muslim and it was Hannukah or Eid, I'd pass on greetings of their season, and ask what they do to celebrate. Talking to people helps you learn about other cultures surely? I've never met anyone get upset or offended if I ask eg a Jewish person how Hanukkah is celebrated. They're often happy to tell me what food they eat, what clothes they wear, what religious services they attend.

I think when people ask its a combination of being interested in other cultures and of out of respect.

Agree with this - OP I think this is why people might be reacting in a strange way when you reply that you celebrate Christmas in a “commercialised way, like many others in the UK” or something like that. Yes you’re right, it is very very commercial, and yes, loads of people who celebrate Christmas aren’t actually Christian (like me). But it’s not just a “commercial” festival for many of us. It’s got deep rooted traditions and cultures, it goes back way before Christianity even, and stripping the traditions and history away and saying it’s just commercial is going to put peoples backs up.

If you said “yes I do celebrate Christmas, I’m not religious but I like the traditions and the festival” or something like that, it would be much more palatable I guess, and perhaps less likely to get odd reactions. Obviously don’t say that if you don’t like the traditions but it sounds like you do like it! People are probably asking if you are of a different religion that specifically ignores Christmas. Saying you celebrate in a non religious way helps to answer that.