Page 12 | Received this anonymous message re: H

Blossom4538 · 2022-12-21T08:50:18+00:00

Hi, posted here for traffic. A little upset at the moment. I recieved this text message from an anonymous sender today:- “Why are you staying with xxxx. You know he is gay right? You need to get out of that situation you’re both fooling yourselves. The marriage is finished and has been for a long time” Is it something doing the rounds or genuine? I’ve spoken to H and believe it’s not true and he’s not cheating. We do not have any sex life though and I could believe he’s bi-sexual. They have my no and H’s name - shortened version which other people use, not me. what the hell?!

HelsyQ · 22/12/2022 19:42

Blossom4538 · 22/12/2022 19:32

Spoken about it again and I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth. He is wondering if it is some sort of scam - but then usually do the try and get you to click on a link or prompt a reply to get what they’re after? I can’t respond, it appears as though can’t respond to the anonymous sender as poss via a particular app or they’ve blocked me, so seems strange. Or is it just something malicious to stir things up between people.
OR we feel maybe it’s someone who knows me and has my number, but not sure why they’d do it and can’t think who.

I am pretty sure I believe H. It’s just all very bizarre and a bit f**ed up!

i just can’t get my round how this was even a discussion between you. I wouldn’t even bring it up to my partner or we’d laugh together because it’s so blantantly untrue, you couldn’t do that. You seem like you’re in denial. Good luck to you both x

Justmuddlingalong · 22/12/2022 20:12

What makes you think he could be bisexual. You said this way back in the thread but have never explained why you would consider that as a possibility.

SweetSakura · 22/12/2022 23:02

Of course it wasn't a scam. They had the right name and weren't trying to extract anything.

Either this is just a wind up thread or you are choosing to put up the blinkers now and not see the obvious.

Blondewithredlips · 22/12/2022 23:21

Blossom4538 · 22/12/2022 10:02

Thank you all so much! It’s really bizarre and playing on my mind.

@Wisteriaroundthedoor we genuinely do adore each other. We are so, so close, despite the lack of intimate relationship.

@Santancrap Thanks! how was your message received? Mine states “anonymous”as sender and no other details.
Can that work somehow with the Snapchat trick?

Im not totally naive and appreciate this could be genuine. I am not sure he is gay. Perhaps someone could be after him or myself or some jealousy.

Sorry I find the "genuinely adore" each other a little hard to believe. You really need to be on your guard.

TruckerBarbie · 23/12/2022 00:28

I haven't read the full thread, just all of your replies OP, but I have to say it's pretty unusual that he has no interest in a sexual relationship with his wife.

Original poster

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 00:30

We absolutely adore one another.

I am concerned now though. I’ve looked through his phone and can’t spot anything.

I never look through his phone.
He’s wanting to work at our relationship, been affectionate and we had a lovely Xmas meal out together! When we discussed it he seemed to be telling the truth and asked me
toI stop looking at him suspectingly.

He is a little sheltered/innocent sex wise.

I don’t think he’s done anything with anyone else. Perhaps he is hiding something. I’m so confused. He is the most sweetest, genuine, honest, quite naive and innocent man!
Someone obviously wants to let me know something or disrupt our relationship.

OP posts:

Original poster

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 00:32

I have no interest in a sexual relationship with him either sadly. But I do love him and care for him and love being close/cuddling etc

OP posts:

Original poster

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 00:32

@TruckerBarbie I have no interest in a sexual relationship with him either sadly. But I do love him and care for him and love being close/cuddling etc

OP posts:

lifeinthehills · 23/12/2022 00:33

This is the problem with these anonymous messages. They have made a broad statement, created questions in your mind, and offered no proof. Anyone who wants to do this sort of thing should at least present some concrete evidence to back them up.

Original poster

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 00:35

I can’t remember who mentioned it earlier in the thread, but I have done as they perhaps thought and added a happy, loved up post onto social media today…perhaps that will prompt further contact/detail from
them

OP posts:

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 00:40

If it was a scam wouldn't they be trying to extract money etc.?

I would worry that your h has been having relationships with men through some site/app and has been very discrete to date.

There is a significant proportion of married, hetero appearing men on all gay hook up & dating sites.

Blondewithredlips · 23/12/2022 00:57

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 00:30

We absolutely adore one another.

I am concerned now though. I’ve looked through his phone and can’t spot anything.

I never look through his phone.
He’s wanting to work at our relationship, been affectionate and we had a lovely Xmas meal out together! When we discussed it he seemed to be telling the truth and asked me
toI stop looking at him suspectingly.

He is a little sheltered/innocent sex wise.

I don’t think he’s done anything with anyone else. Perhaps he is hiding something. I’m so confused. He is the most sweetest, genuine, honest, quite naive and innocent man!
Someone obviously wants to let me know something or disrupt our relationship.

These posts with "adore" don't convince me and make me think you are both putting on an act trying to convince yourselves all is ok. You husband will be using a burner phone not his own phone.
My father had two lives with two different women for over a decade without being caught.

Original poster

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 01:02

@VisaGeezer but how would they have my mobile no?

OP posts:

Blondewithredlips · 23/12/2022 01:18

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 01:02

@VisaGeezer but how would they have my mobile no?

The person he is sleeping with could have accessed his phone and got your phone number. This happened to my mum. Exactly the same.

You really are coming across as naive/in denial. You need to drop the adore pretence and do some investigating. The adoration that you crave is an effective smoke screen to hide what he is up to.

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:24

Blossom4538 · 23/12/2022 01:02

@VisaGeezer but how would they have my mobile no?

Got it out of his phone when he left it unattended?

Blondewithredlips · 23/12/2022 01:26

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:24

Got it out of his phone when he left it unattended?

Show quote history

I think the OP makes this very easy for her H as does not seem to have a clue.

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:32

I would worry that your h has been having relationships with men through some site/app and has been very discrete to date.

I should amend this to say "been having a relationship with at least one man" ... Because, if this isn't a hoax (which seems likely) somebody is invested enough to be very frustrated and to try to get you two to separate; which suggests a relationship,not sorts rather than hookups with multiple people who aren't invested.

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:32

What made you say you could see him being bisexual?

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:43

Blondewithredlips · 23/12/2022 01:26

I think the OP makes this very easy for her H as does not seem to have a clue.

Show quote history

Wives and partners of closeted gay and bi men on her are often similar to op.

In total and utter disbelief.

It makes it easy for the ones who want to stay married.

There have been two on here off the top of my head who stayed with men who were blatantly gay/bi and cheating.

One had made hundreds of calls to gay sex chat lines and only stopped when caught (he told her he was just discussing his confusion about his sexual orientation which he later resolved). Hundreds of calls - to lines advertised with pics of buff guys in jockey shorts holding their erections ..... and as if any guy on the other end would be up for counselling him and talking for hours about his "confusion", having called a sex chat & masturbation aid line.
She hadn't even considered it, she started asking him (as a result of the thread) why he'd call those lines when they were advertised in such a sexual manner, why not a counsellor..... More BS from him ..... she was still with him when the thread weren't cold. She was with him from very young, kids together etc.

The other one had had various clues, but had had a sort of breakdown after he bum dialled her while having a hook up with a man in his car. She knew what she heard ... But days of gas lighting and lying later and she was doubting herself and believing his story about just having a conversation with a random man about a minor accident in the car park. She said what she's overheard didn't fit with that but again she had someone she'd been with from teens and had kids with lying to her face, with utter sincerity, and she ended up in total paralysis; disappeared off thread.

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:47

Maybe there is some other explanation for op's situation.

I would, however, give serious thought to "what if there isn't".

When women post on here about similar, the poster (and a few others) will always say it's malice, it's random, it's a psycho. 8/9 times out of 10, it is not.

The number of people in the world who are total psycho lying fantasists who are out to destroy others relationships, is generally a lot lower than the number of cheating men.

VisaGeezer · 23/12/2022 01:51

Blowyourowntrumpet · 21/12/2022 08:53

What a horrible thing to send to someone. I'd just reply f*CK off and then block

What could go wrong with that approach?
Smh

Missyc11 · 23/12/2022 02:04

I would follow that up. Good luck OP

fatsocatso · 23/12/2022 02:05

@Blossom4538 you say you both absolutely adore each other. So why is he trying to work on the relationship? What is wrong with the relationship that needs work (apart from the lack of sex which you say neither of you want with each other anyway)?

But the bottom line is very very few men are truly asexual. And those that aren't will find a way. If he's not having sex with you over a long period of time, he will at some point, if he hasn't already, look for it elsewhere.

MishaBukvic · 23/12/2022 02:45

I think your husband has a beard..... and I don't mean facial hair.

It doesn't add up. There's no scam because the anon person isn't getting anything out of it.

RememberNancyDrew · 23/12/2022 03:10

The message, in conjunction with the sexless but good friendship-type marriage and the fact you all have been together since you were teenagers so he didn't have that exploratory dating/sex phase, makes me think there is some truth to it.

Maybe he sent the message himself to test the waters.
Or maybe some man has a crush on him.
I'm not convinced there is an actual affair (yet) - I only say that because I have been accused of numerous sexual relations when there was none, so I am projecting on that point, but I stand by the rest.