Partner wanting sex when I'm WFH?!

[whatsthepointinthis]

NC for this. Sorry but this has really annoyed me and I need to know I'm not being unreasonable here. Please move elsewhere if it's not appropriate here.

Partner has just left for work. I'm taking my lunch break hence posting here.

We have 2 children in the house, one of whom is under 2, so granted we don't get a lot of "us" time anymore but I think his pushy-ness this morning takes the piss a bit.

I'm wfh today, partner is on a late shift so not starting work til after lunch. He's done the school/nursery drop offs this morning, ran a few errands, and come home about 10.30 ish. He has then basically hung around me making insinuations about sex... I'm literally sat at my laptop by the way when he's doing this. I said I'm working, not now... He said I could "take a break" and we could "make it quick" etc. I replied something like: "wow that's an attractive offer 🙄 how about instead let's make some time this evening and make it more relaxed / special", and I reiterated that really needed to get the work done that I was focusing on! But he kept persisting then seemed to go sulky. I ignored him and carried on working. I reiterated about this evening when kids are in bed and he said (sorry if tmi):"yeah ok.. but I won't last long as it's been that long. So I thought just a quick one now would be a good idea".

At that point I just felt so annoyed! I'm trying to work and I'm not there to service him so he lasts longer later, ffs! And it's not even been that long - to say we have a young child who still doesn't sleep great and takes up so much of our time, and we both work long hours FT, we are doing ok - for context last time was only 3 weeks ago and we average 2-3 times a month. It's like he doesn't value the importance of my work, too, and it's somehow less important because I can do it from home. Imagine me turning up at his workplace demanding sex when he's on shift?!

Anyway. Was he being a bit annoying and pushy here? Or am I overreacting to be still annoyed with him 🙄

Also, I don't have to wait til my children are asleep before I shower or eat. Nor do I need to be in a relaxed state of mind to do either of those. Daft comparison, really.

I'm not sure why people keep posting about their own frequent sex as if it's some kind of gotcha. I'm struggling to see the relevance.

FFS.

How often the OP has sex is completely irrelevant. Everyone is different.

The problem is the bloke pestering her after saying no which absolutely categorically is not acceptable.

@Wishihadanalgorithm
I agree. This whole thread has amazed me.
I can't decide if it a Daily Mail fishing expedition or someone seeking evidence to call an end to WFH.
A few employers might start paying a lot more attention to productivity and computer logging on in times and activity if they see this thread.

People are talking about sex when WFH while on breaks, not having a quickie while wearing a Teams headset!

You were working and focused on that. When you said ‘no’ that should have been it.

To the people berating the OP for only having sex every three weeks or so, rtft. OP has suffered birth trauma and has actually had therapy to deal with it and experiences pain during sex, so if you could shag like rabbits when going through that kind of event then good for you. But personally the OP’s dh is lucky if he gets sex at all in those circumstances, and sulking would make me consider the relationship.

Thanks for this. I honestly do try my best! I do wish it was more frequent but we are where we are unfortunately. Hopefully it will get better with time.

Pestering is bad however I would have had to take him up on his offer if it had been 3 weeks!!

😂😂. Pestering for sex is not showing an interest. It’s the most unattractive thing ever.

Some bizarre people on MN. Honestly OP you don't have to justify or explain to any of the lotions on here why you last had sex 3 weeks again or why you're not shagging like rabbits at any given opportunity. In the real world it's not unusual for everyone to be different. I'm appalled at some of the sarcastic comments here trying to shame you about this to be honest.

The thought that we're supposed to be flattered by men pestering us for sex is nauseating! 'Making an effort' 🤮

They have young children. 2 or 3 times a month isn't that bad!

Fine to ask, and definitely a wfh perk.
Not fine, and wholly unattractive, to pester when you have said no, and especially then to sulk about it.

3 weeks is quite a long time though, so maybe there’s room to work on making time for intimacy.

As if three weeks ago is ages when you have little ones and work full time!

I’d have been super pissed off but sometimes a blunt “I’m not up for a shag, I AM WORKING! If you continue to behave like an immature knob I can’t see me wanting to sleep with you tonight either. Now piss off and go and have a wank like a normal person” and then completely ignore any sulking.