Partner wanting sex when I'm WFH?!

[whatsthepointinthis]

NC for this. Sorry but this has really annoyed me and I need to know I'm not being unreasonable here. Please move elsewhere if it's not appropriate here.

Partner has just left for work. I'm taking my lunch break hence posting here.

We have 2 children in the house, one of whom is under 2, so granted we don't get a lot of "us" time anymore but I think his pushy-ness this morning takes the piss a bit.

I'm wfh today, partner is on a late shift so not starting work til after lunch. He's done the school/nursery drop offs this morning, ran a few errands, and come home about 10.30 ish. He has then basically hung around me making insinuations about sex... I'm literally sat at my laptop by the way when he's doing this. I said I'm working, not now... He said I could "take a break" and we could "make it quick" etc. I replied something like: "wow that's an attractive offer 🙄 how about instead let's make some time this evening and make it more relaxed / special", and I reiterated that really needed to get the work done that I was focusing on! But he kept persisting then seemed to go sulky. I ignored him and carried on working. I reiterated about this evening when kids are in bed and he said (sorry if tmi):"yeah ok.. but I won't last long as it's been that long. So I thought just a quick one now would be a good idea".

At that point I just felt so annoyed! I'm trying to work and I'm not there to service him so he lasts longer later, ffs! And it's not even been that long - to say we have a young child who still doesn't sleep great and takes up so much of our time, and we both work long hours FT, we are doing ok - for context last time was only 3 weeks ago and we average 2-3 times a month. It's like he doesn't value the importance of my work, too, and it's somehow less important because I can do it from home. Imagine me turning up at his workplace demanding sex when he's on shift?!

Anyway. Was he being a bit annoying and pushy here? Or am I overreacting to be still annoyed with him 🙄

Just to mention that I WFH and manage to keep my knickers on during that time. This thread is mind boggling.

It wasn't lunch time, it was 10.30 and I had my head in work. He came back in and was just hanging around me most of the morning til he left a short while ago to go to work himself. Lunch time would have been fine if he'd still been here now! The point is it wasn't convenient for me at that point and I didn't feel like he respected that.

@LakieLady

'I was so glad to read this. WFH did wonders for our sex life. There's something so naughty about a quickie when you should be working.'

Please don't do this if you in a ZOOM meeting, or at least have the courtesy to turn the sound off! 😳😂

He sounds like a fucking wet blanket and no wonder it’s been 3 weeks since you had sex.

Your sex life sounds infrequent…I consider 2-3
times a month to be very little…but I wouldn’t want to shag this man either.

I think we should all be in relationships where a mututally satisfying quickie is something we jump at.

WFH is irrelevant.

Fine to have asked. Not fine to have mithered and sulked about it.

When I'm WFH unfortunately I'm actually working from home. Lunch break is to grab some food. I couldnt imagine wasting my employers times with a "quickie".

If you're always stressed and tired then he's probably thinking that you offering 'tonight' is a brush off.

It's a clumsy way of highlighting his needs, for sure, but I imagine if he didn't mention it then you'd never have sex at all.

Nothing gets me going like being knee deep in spreadsheets

@AussiUnHomme

It's actually 50:50 in terms of who initiates at other times, so not true that if he didn't mention it wouldn't happen. I do miss our sex life as much as he does, just his timing was awful today!

Anyway, back to work for me now..... unless I rock up at DP's work demanding sex instead, and see how that goes down? 🤔

😂

Echo what a lot of posters have said. It was fine to ask the question, not fine to continue to pester.

But honestly, the "not on my employers time" people. Lighten up. Your employers would let you go at the drop of a hat if the financials made sense. No one suggests bunking off all day, but it isn't really that different to having a tea break or whatever.

Genuine question: Is there anything, at all that is a bigger turn off than a man sulking about being told no to sex? I honestly couldn’t stay with a man who did that and it would be an instant deal breaker for me.

Most people get a break during the day. It's none of the employer's business what you do on that break.

I've never done this but if the timing aligned and I wanted to, I definitely would!

Yeah.

I agree.

But women aren't always easy to deal with when turned down. Is it me? Do you not fancy me any more? You think I'm fat!

And the responses on here often have a fair proportion of LTB if he doesn't meet expectations.

Lol. Wfh is the only time we get to do it and the only time I can be bothered. Kids out at school and nursery. Not like night time whe I've no energy.

I get annoyed when I'm pestered once the kids are asleep. So I know how how annoying it is though. When you have young kids sometimes all you want is to be left alone for a bit. Especially when you are actually busy.

I am amazed at all the people choosing not to have sex whilst WFH tbh. If one likes sex, why on earth wouldn’t you avail of this wonderful opportunity?

How long before this thread hits the DM? Or was it initiated by the DM.

YANBU he should respect you more and respect your working hours as well.

I'd have been delighted and switched off the laptop.

Come on, OP. You could have taken a shorter lunch break to make up for the time you spent having sex, if you were that busy.

You are WFH and presumably being paid to work and not shag your husband.

I’m actually aghast at the number of people who think it’s ok to have sex when they’re being paid to work. No wonder employers are demanding staff return to the office!

Your husband is being a sex pest - a deeply unattractive quality- and he really doesn’t see the value in your work. From now on, if he’s on a late I’d be going into the. Office.

TBH, in your day 10.30am sounds like the perfect time.
He's got the kids to school and dealt with and doesn't have to leave for work for a while.
You've gotten to log on, deal with anything urgent and plan your day.

10:30 would be tea break time anyway!

However, I think you have more of an issue with feeling like he doesn't value your work.

I dunno I'm hung jury on this one, on the one hand I'd like my employers to be paying me for having sex in their time and on the other sulking is deeply unattractive.

I was thinking the same thing.

I’m with you on this one OP. If I’m working, I’m working. yes he can suggest it (as can you) but if you say no then that’s the end of it- it’s not a negotiation. Working from home shouldn’t be an excuse to do all the cleaning, chores, prep tea etc. on top of work - It’s just working as usual in a different place. I wfh a few days a week but never would have enough time to sneak out for a quicky, maybe im in the wrong profession!

I don't know how these people are getting the chance to do it for longer than 10 minutes.
If I'm gone for a while my manager is quickly on to me and also they monitor our productivity.
I can't imagine being relaxed enough to do it on the clock, most of the time I am too busy anyway.

I'd have taken the opportunity tbh.

How often does he ask like this? He must have really wanted you if he hung around that long, I'd have put him first in that case. I know what it's like to be the one wanting more, and it's horrible to be rejected. Sometimes you just need that affection there and then, I can't explain it.

3 weeks is quite a gap IMO, I have 2 under 3's (youngest is 4 months) and we are intimate at least once a week, if not twice, even when I am working (on mat leave atm).

Seriously, you would have been away from the laptop for what, half an hour tops? One of the benefits from WFH is you can catch up work in the evening if needed, I did it all the time and I am a reporting manager so had a huge lot on my plate.