To not want a stranger at Christmas?

[Oneeyedreindeer]

My mother and brother were due to come to my house for Christmas. I am married with 3 DC, one of who is a young baby. Last week he randomly said he has a friend from abroad coming to stay for a month and if I don’t invite him he will be alone on Christmas Day.

i explained I don’t want a stranger there and it changes the dynamics with small children/breastfeeding etc. he is insisting I could meet the friend beforehand. He is like a dog with a bone and won’t drop it and keeps bringing it up/poor friend will he all alone etc etc. I’ve been clear that if he can’t come as he needs to be with his friend that’s fine and now I feel very mean indeed. But AIBU? I just think it would be very awkward indeed and I do also think there’s an element of my brother wanting to park up for some free/food drink with his friend - he suggested bringing his games consoles “for DC to play” although DC are 4 and under.

I presume I'm not the first to point out this is in the DM.

And it's a no from me too.

Aaaaaand this is in the DM - my mother just sent to me 😆🤦🏻‍♀️

Obtain a copy (by theft if necessary), & wrap DB's present in it.
It's the least he deserves.

The most annoying thing is DM is presenting it as as if it was a split of opinions but in reality it was more people thought IWNBU 😆

Is Christmas cancelled? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think it's a time of good will and compassion, be kind and help a lonely soul. I live alone have no family nearby. My dear friend takes me in every Christmas day, what would I do without her. A friend is a stranger you have not met yet. Lots of love this Christmas xxxxxxxxxxxx

OP - hope the DM fallout is positive.

I am a convert to your side of the party. You make some incredibly valid points about accommodation gymnastics - bollocks to THAT!

I got a bit lost - did you tell the XmasCockLodger to feck off? What is happening on boxing day?

Best thread in a long while.

I'd be more annoyed if DM felt other people's opinions (whichever way) outweighed yours. Hope she doesn't start guilting you or banging on.

Apologies she may be lovely, but the fact that she's still financially supporting a 35 year old manchild with the cost of putting a roof over his own head makes me wonder ...

Also love how DM instantly presents Chinese Mate as "lonely", like that's an established fact.

For all we know, he was dreading a day of small talk & unfamiliarity - after all, HE didn't assume he had an invitation, he was just told by DB that he was going. Maybe he prefers having a day to himself.

Maybe he'd even prefer a day off from a selfish host, & wants to take himself off somewhere & entertain himself.

How had you left it with DB, prior to DailyMailGate OP?

If DM is still so set on bro and matey coming maybe suggest 'you seem to have a much better idea how to plan this than l mother dearest, will we switch the venue to yours'? 🤔

Can I please just ask everyone to refer to the Mail and the OP’s mother? I’m getting massively confused by the interchangeable use of ‘DM’ 😄

Daily Mail comments think I’m mean so I’m probably best advised to do the opposite

top
Comment is calling my brother gay so they obviously did not Rtft either…..

YANBU!

That we will see them
Boxing Day… he doesn’t read the DM but there is obviously the chance my mother will show him and Boxing Day won’t happen…

Someone called NottsLad thinks you’re “riding him on the sly”. (Presumably the friend, not your brother 🤢) Plot twist!

I've hosted a lot of Christmas's over the last 45 years, so it wouldn't bother me, as I'm past getting stressed with it all now.

I've had a varied assortment of friends/boyfriends/girlfriends of the kids and the adult GC's rocking up.

The more the merrier lol

But, it's your house, so it's your rules.😉

OP, I've been following your saga from the beginning. YA totally NBU, stay strong! This really is the best Christmas thread ever and the DM getting involved is like the sprig of holly on the flaming pudding

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet ·
No the brother is actively leaving his friend out. This important friend who he’s happy to drive on Christmas Day rather than host himself.

Any bets he said come for Christmas. My sister wont mind..... If they do both come they should certainly do the washing up.

Yes it’s not ideal but I think there’s something in the Christmas story about it being problematic to say there’s no room at the inn?! It will be nice for your kids to see you being kind. The breastfeeding thing is a red herring - by baby three you either don’t care about randoms catching a glimpse of boob or are an expert with a cover up. It’s not a risk situation as your brother knows this person and he’s not going to be alone with your kids. Give your brother and the friend some helpful jobs to do. Say no to the X Box.

Say no to the X Box

Good point (unlike the rest of the post which was simply a variation 31 pages of on Be Kind And Martyr Yourself, Woman). Ban the Xbox, OP, and I bet DB will suddenly find he'd rather stay at home.

Tbh don’t invite him. I think the guy would rather you didn’t invite him only to be made feel uncomfortable, because you genuinely don’t want to invite him.

Why is it that when people, especially women, try and set boundaries they're labelled as being "unkind?" Even if their reasons are valid and understandable, there's still a message of "be kind" thrown about because there's nothing worse than a woman being seen to be unkind.

There's a difference between "being kind" and "being a doormat".

Hosting Brother and friend on Boxing Day is "being kind".

Hosting them (one being a total stranger) on Christmas Day, when OP just wants to relax and enjoy a meal with immediate family is "being a doormat".

Don't do it OP. It will stress you out of your skull. This is your BROTHER'S responsibility - he should cook for his guest.

And if your mother isn't happy, let her stay with them and she can cook for the three of them.

Courage ma Bravette! You can win this one.

(Alternatively, they all come and your mother and brother do all the cooking and clearing away whole you sit and feed and cuddle your baby, and play with your other children. This way he can host his guest in your home, but not cause extra work for you the lazy *rse) )

I think I know how I feel about breastfeeding, thank you 😀

Thanks for all the hilarious comments. My mother has thankfully seen the funny side. My friends think it’s hilarious the DM has picked it up and DH says it’s “absolutely typical” that it happened to me.

it’s been a fun thread though. I have a feeling DB will still try to pop Christmas morning for breakfast

😂😂😂