Naked charity calendar - AIBU

[Curtaincall1]

I recently purchased a naked charity calendar from a local sports club as a lighthearted way of helping a good cause and a little bit of fun. However I have told my partner and he has completely overreacted and wants me to get rid of it comparing it to pornography.
what’s more is my son overheard us arguing about the calendar and he’s not happy either and wants it binned.

AIBU

The calendar does sound a bit tacky but "Did you think about the mothers of these men?" is genuine, bona fide peak mumsnet and one of the funniest things I've ever read on here.... love it!

It was indeed and was used as a way to mask the very real objections women were making about the sexual exploitation of children, and the contribution made by the images to damaging societal views of women.
If the OPs husband is speaking from his concern that vulnerable children are being exploited in the making of the calendar, or that the societal view of men as sex objects is being reinforced, which will exacerbate the discrimination faced by men, and encourage women to sexually prey on and intimate them, then of course he should be heard. I for one would be all ears for that conversation.

I’d have no problem with the calendar. My dp has a celebrity one every year, I usually buy it!

@napody

I know, I’m all for understanding both sides of any debate but this is so MN.

How dare someone enjoy a picture of a hunky naked man, won’t someone please think of the mothers.

My husband bought me an artsy semi-naked men calendar for Christmas. At least he got that right. It was displayed in my office.

They're young men and the OP 's son is objecting to the calendar (as they're local her son might even know some of them) - that's the context - her son and other people's sons. Just as refering to other people 's daughters would be in context if a man had bought a calendar of local sportswomen posing naked and his daughter objected to it.

There is a (loose) argument that perpetuating the stereotype that real men should be physically strong and muscular is a part of toxic masculinity and something that shouldn’t be perpetuated. I’m sure you can agree with that

for me, I think it’s ok to object just because he doesn’t like it.

Yes, how hilarious to consider that not every mother would be comfortable knowing that their adult sons semi-naked pictures.

Things like this are used to justify things like page 3 though. What's the harm if men pose too? Strip clubs couldn't possibly be exploitative because The Chippendales exist. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander...

Disingenuous yes, but a very common argument among people not interested in the balance of power aspect making men and women's reasons for participating in any type of sexualised public performance likely to be unequal.

Yes, you make a very fair point.

Yes I can agree with both of those points.

I don't understand this obsession with these ADULT men's mothers, literally everyone has one. There are far worse things one can do beyond having sexy pictures taken of yourself. Your sexual partners also have mothers? What would they think of them if they knew their sons (or daughters) were into [insert sexual practice]? Have we forgotten that taking nudes can be a form of sexual expression? I always thought of myself as a prude, but maybe I'm not lol

Anyway, whole obsession with mothers of adult naked men aside, your husband doesn't want this item in his house. Your son doesn't want this item in his house. You might thing they are being unreasonable and don't get the joke or whatever, but I wouldn't have any object in our house that my husband felt uncomfortable with no matter how many other people would approve of such item. That really is all that matters, even if it's one of those Buddha statues, a Chinese vase or a kitty calendar. He doesn't like it, you gotta bin it (or keep it hidden in a drawer for your own pleasure, but make sure he never finds out... well that'd open a whole other can of worms. Just bin it, it ain't worth it).

Update - the calendar is gone, it’s best as it was an issue but I don’t get the impression is was a moral argument.

Then shouldn't she be taking that up with the man who is her son?
Let's be quite clear what we're talking about here. Adult men with (presumably) jobs and hobbies and the power and independence to make choices about what they do, have on this occasion decided to strip for a charity calendar. They have not been approached on the streets as children and been coerced with false promises of an improved lifestyle. Its not their day job, it won't be what defines them. It won't make them vulnerable to sexual abuse.
They will turn up, have a laugh and go back to their comparitively privileged lives.
If they've made their mothers uncomfortable in the process, well their mothers should tell them, not expect other women to take responsibility for policing them.

Disturbing on multiple levels including the fact you've hung pictures of other women's naked sons up in your marital bedroom.

Disturbing - get a grip!! Surely if other women's naked sons didn't want their pictures hung on other people's walls they wouldn't have posed for the calendar?

Honestly, what a fuss about nothing (and btw, naked calendars are still very much a thing).

@SnapHappily I mean, sure, mothers might disapprove of their adult children's choice - so what? That's between the two of them. They may also have partners, best friends, fathers, grandparents, cousins, uncles, neighbours, colleagues and bosses. Why is no one thinking about them? 😂

'It's like saying, well, I don't know how drug dealers sleep at night... I mean, think about THE MOTHERS'.

Or the more controversial one: 'Well I don't know how James can go out with another man, I mean... just think about his [bigoted] MOTHER'

Sorry, it is hilarious. At some point children grow into adults and make their own decisions. We gotta accept that!

That is so gorgeous - obviously the kitten. Now I am old enough to be that lovely firefighter's mum but I can still admire a honed bod. I am single so what goes in my bedroom stays in my bedroom. Actually I can see my 2 cats having an issue. #shame I'll take it down

Whilst I really do agree with the sentiment there are some choices that are particularly disappointing.

Even though their sons are adults these mothers now have to know that naked pictures of their sons are in the hands of strangers or perhaps people they know.
I’m likely to be a prude but it would cause me much more stress than other choices.

@SnapHappily really? That would upset you more than your child being an addict, a thief, a rapist or a murderer?

What about the parents of actors when bear it all for the screen? And what about nude models posing for drawing classes? We've been admiring the human body for millenia. Do you not go to museums?

I'll agree that I wouldn't necessarily have a calendar of naked men in my house, but their mothers wouldn't be part of the equation. Thats like not watching Titanic because Kate Winslett appears naked in it and her mother would be upset about it.

We all knew it would be men! Hilarious. I’m with Lego who said Get some Sharpies and draw clothes on them. Really over the top silly clothes to make a point how silly your husband and son are.

The sons and mothers are relevant hete because the original poster's son objects to the calendar, not because of some made up reasons a few posters seem to be trying to invent.

Of course not but it would deeply upset me.

I see your argument, mine is more aimed at men and women being naked for sexual reasons like strippers, naked butlers and these calendars which do fall into the sexual side.

The actors and movies depend on the context, Titanic isn’t pornographic. My issue is people forgetting the men and women doing so have parents and aren’t just objects for their pleasure.

It is subtle but the intent and audience is important. If my 22 year old son told me he was posing for life drawing for a genuine art class I could handle that much better than him posing nude for life drawing at a hen part where he would be purely there for the attendees to leer at.

If no one likes it bin it, or put it in a draw, you've done your bit by contributing by buying it. These sort of calenders of women used to be all the rage with men but you usually found them hung up in the tea room at work (I used to see them often at work, a bit embarrassing but I just ignored) not in the bedroom at home! Tacky I think so get rid.

It is subtle but the intent and audience is important. If my 22 year old son told me he was posing for life drawing for a genuine art class I could handle that much better than him posing nude for life drawing at a hen part where he would be purely there for the attendees to leer at.

I can agree with that, my sons friend from uni posed for a hen do life drawing and he described it like ‘the last days of Rome’.

Are these posts for real? - "Did you think about the mothers of these men?" - and - "other women's naked sons"?

And especially this one - @ SnapHappily - "knowing these men had to take their clothes off" - Do you really think they HAD to do it? And who was it that forced them to do it against their will?