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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked charity calendar - AIBU

157 replies

Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 15:00

I recently purchased a naked charity calendar from a local sports club as a lighthearted way of helping a good cause and a little bit of fun. However I have told my partner and he has completely overreacted and wants me to get rid of it comparing it to pornography.
what’s more is my son overheard us arguing about the calendar and he’s not happy either and wants it binned.

AIBU

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 18/12/2022 17:45

Needmorelego · 18/12/2022 17:20

I wonder how many on here saying it's degrading blah blah blah would turn down the Australian Firefighters with Kittens Calendar ?
😂

I will if you photoshop the firefighters out and just leave the kittens 😃

I'm attracted equally to men and women, but I wouldn't want naked or half naked people of either sex on a calendar. Not least because the calendar makers seem to assume a very specific 'type' is attractive, and I don't go for the glamour model type of woman or the muscular type of man.

SnapHappily · 18/12/2022 17:47

Needmorelego · 18/12/2022 17:20

I wonder how many on here saying it's degrading blah blah blah would turn down the Australian Firefighters with Kittens Calendar ?
😂

I wouldn’t as I don’t think paying people to get naked is attractive.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2022 17:50

Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 15:18

If it was in a similar nature I would be completely fine, it’s a lighthearted calendar. And it was in our bedroom so my son woudlnt ever see it.

Show quote history

I mean, I think you have to respect your husband not wanting a calendar of fit 22 year old half dressed rugby players in his bedroom.

He’s not being totally unreasonable is he?!

Somanysocks · 18/12/2022 17:56

Can't really give an opinion until you let us see some of the pics.

Bepis · 18/12/2022 18:03

@Needmorelego I wouldn't particularly want that calendar but if Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys did one, then I'd be first in line to buy it 😂

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 18/12/2022 18:03

I’d buy him a naked calendar of his fave actress Margot Robbie if he wanted one!

Think he will be waiting a very long time for that. Margot Robbie has a bit of class about her. Highly doubt she would do anything so tacky.

Crazykatie · 18/12/2022 18:12

rwalker · 18/12/2022 17:43

Please please go with other suggestion of drawing shorts on them

Show quote history

A calendar of stripped off rugby players, yes please!.

CovertImage · 18/12/2022 18:23

TooHotToRamble · 18/12/2022 15:37

Why is a naked or partially clothed body "vile?!?

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"Vile" is Mumsnet's favourite - overused - word.

See also:
Validate
Triggered
Narc
Gaslighted
Grey rock
Abusive
Hot chocolate

FloydPepper · 18/12/2022 18:29

Somanysocks · 18/12/2022 17:56

Can't really give an opinion until you let us see some of the pics.

Pretty sleazy response that wouldn’t be tolerated if you were a man asking for pics of women…

Needmorelego · 18/12/2022 18:33

@BeanieTeen no I probably wouldn't hang the calander in my bedroom. It would be in the kitchen 😂
@SnapHappily usually the models don't get paid to be naked. They do it for free because it's for charity.

Abbamamma · 18/12/2022 18:34

Stuff like this comes down to personal opinion, some people just aren’t comfortable with stuff like this.

I’m my uni days one of the male sporing clubs (I think football) had a full Monty charity strip night just after the full Monty was released in cinemas. I remember going and thinking not much of it, I had some drinks with friends and watched their ‘show’, and had a pretty good night.

I remember the look of horror when my friend from home asked what I’d done that weekend as if I had spent the weekend robbing a bank. When I said we’d seen their willies as the act ended with them stark naked they were horrified and couldn’t understand how the boys could continue to show their faces in uni.

To some a naked calendar is a cheap laugh, to others it’s horrible. I don’t think there is a clear answer where it falls.

MissPinkCakeyBun · 18/12/2022 18:40

My husband would think it's a hoot but he was in the Army for 13 years so has seen a lot. I would just hang it in my wardrobe and tell him to deal with it. It's not porn and it's not tacky it's a human body and they are Completely normal and we all have them.
Could it be he's a little intimidated?
As for all those saying it's awful and tasteless and porn? It's a charity Callander from a local rugby club not ForFans or Readers wives circa 1985!!!

purpledalmation · 18/12/2022 18:45

I've bought one which supports the SN school DD attends. It's men from a local waste disposal company and very funny. Nothing showing except the odd bum, and in funny situations. It's going in my private study and I'll explain why I bought it before I put it up. If DH doesn't like it I'll just fold over the men part.

I wouldn't like DH to put the typical playboy calendar up but I wouldn't mind some comedy ones like the calendar girls one.

5128gap · 18/12/2022 18:51

PorridgewithQuark · 18/12/2022 16:27

🤢

Disturbing on multiple levels including the fact you've hung pictures of other women's naked sons up in your marital bedroom.

I'm surprised that naked amateur calenders for charrridy are still around - though admittedly less so in the rugby context.

As others say though I wonder whether you're being honest claiming that you'd be happy if your husband came home with a calendar of the naked late teen and early 20s women on the women's rugby team and hung that in your bedroom (and what their mums would think).

Is 'other women's sons' the new way of referring to men now?
Or only when we want to make adult males sound vunerable and childlike in order imply women are predators?

FloydPepper · 18/12/2022 18:52

5128gap · 18/12/2022 18:51

Is 'other women's sons' the new way of referring to men now?
Or only when we want to make adult males sound vunerable and childlike in order imply women are predators?

Show quote history

Just like for some men, women don’t count unless they are considered as “daughters”, for some on here all men are bad unless they are thought of as “sons”

FloydPepper · 18/12/2022 18:54

MissPinkCakeyBun · 18/12/2022 18:40

My husband would think it's a hoot but he was in the Army for 13 years so has seen a lot. I would just hang it in my wardrobe and tell him to deal with it. It's not porn and it's not tacky it's a human body and they are Completely normal and we all have them.
Could it be he's a little intimidated?
As for all those saying it's awful and tasteless and porn? It's a charity Callander from a local rugby club not ForFans or Readers wives circa 1985!!!

Like page 3? (Happily now gone)
women should deal with it, it’s not tacky it’s just a body? Women must be intimidated if they object?

MissPinkCakeyBun · 18/12/2022 19:04

@FloydPepper I'm not sure what your point is? I'm saying a man standing with no clothes on with a rugby ball covering his penis and testicles is just that really a man standing there...
It's just a a photo of a man raising money for charity. It's not page 3 or anything like it. I'm a 54 year old mother of 4 daughters and if they wanted to do a charity calendar I would have no issue with it at all and neither would their dad I've just checked.
I really don't understand the massive body hang up that happens on Mumsnet. If the OP wants a calendar in her home for her own entertainment I say go for it, you say not but that's the point of freedom....we all get to choose

FloydPepper · 18/12/2022 19:08

MissPinkCakeyBun · 18/12/2022 19:04

@FloydPepper I'm not sure what your point is? I'm saying a man standing with no clothes on with a rugby ball covering his penis and testicles is just that really a man standing there...
It's just a a photo of a man raising money for charity. It's not page 3 or anything like it. I'm a 54 year old mother of 4 daughters and if they wanted to do a charity calendar I would have no issue with it at all and neither would their dad I've just checked.
I really don't understand the massive body hang up that happens on Mumsnet. If the OP wants a calendar in her home for her own entertainment I say go for it, you say not but that's the point of freedom....we all get to choose

I get you don’t object

but others might, and telling them to shut up and suck it up isn’t really fair. It has shades of what women who objected to risqué pics, or page 3, were told.

I think this bloke has the right to say he’s uncomfortable, and shouldn’t be told to just suck it up.

5128gap · 18/12/2022 19:17

Page 3 regularly featured 16 year old girls selected for the most part for the size of their breasts, and in highly sexualised poses.
One tabloid famously featured a 15 year old girl every day in the week leading to her 16th birthday, wearing her school uniform in progressively more revealing ways until she was fully topless, with copy supposedly quoting her as 'not being able to wait till she was legal'.
By all means disapprove of a bunch of rugby players stripping off for charity if you like, but comparing it to page 3 makes those doing so sound ridiculous.

PleaseTakeItOff · 18/12/2022 19:19

Who the hell puts a calendar up in their bedroom?

HappyOnions · 18/12/2022 19:20

Think these charity calendars have changed quite a bit from the earlier ones- that first one done by some WI ladies was funny because the women were exactly not the sort of women normally featured in such a calendar, doing WI things with their kit off- that was the gag, and the pictures were supposed to be more funny than sexy.

Just some young blokes with their kit off- no different to eg early Pirelli calendars.

Mamamia32 · 18/12/2022 19:23

I don't think naked calendars are usually full of vulnerable people, which makes them different to porn in my opinion. I also doubt many people actually masterbate to them but rather put them up as a joke.

Of course a teenage son isn't going to like his mum looking at sexy men. I can also understand the husband not wanting it on display in the bedroom. However to be so outraged and upset by it suggests he's maybe a bit insecure. I'm guessing he would also be upset if you admitted to having a celebrity crush or something like that, which in my relationship would be no big deal.

FloydPepper · 18/12/2022 19:28

5128gap · 18/12/2022 19:17

Page 3 regularly featured 16 year old girls selected for the most part for the size of their breasts, and in highly sexualised poses.
One tabloid famously featured a 15 year old girl every day in the week leading to her 16th birthday, wearing her school uniform in progressively more revealing ways until she was fully topless, with copy supposedly quoting her as 'not being able to wait till she was legal'.
By all means disapprove of a bunch of rugby players stripping off for charity if you like, but comparing it to page 3 makes those doing so sound ridiculous.

I’m saying the attitude of “it’s just a body, sucking up, if you object you must be jealous and insecure” that is reminiscent of what was said about page 3.

Bepis · 18/12/2022 19:28

PleaseTakeItOff · 18/12/2022 19:19

Who the hell puts a calendar up in their bedroom?

Mine is in my kitchen...and it's not of naked men.

Delandra · 18/12/2022 19:37

The dh and ds are overreacting to a charity calendar. It’s not pornography and I don’t think OP would be sneaking off for a furtive gawp. Unless it’s a hill the OP wants to die on then she’s right, it’s better to get rid of it. Or she could wrap it up as a surprise gift for dh at Xmas? 😉

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